21 sia.

Wow. I'm now 21 years old. An official adult (although mentally arguably not an adult yet). I now have to watch what i sign, what i do, what i eat, what i drink...erm...i have to be careful about commitments, complexion, high cholesterol, etc...

Okay crap. I'm mixing "turning 21" up with "getting old". Graah.

Oh, and coincidentally, i was only 17 years old when i first started this blog! Time really flies.

Oh, and also, my birthday marks the end of 2008!

Well, all i can say is that this has been a VERY eventful year. There have been so many landmarks and first-times (girlfriend, driving license, university, internship, etc x 10) that i hardly know where to begin.

There have also been many things that i've learnt over this past year, which include:

- The importance of being organised
- The importance of giving everyone a fair trial
- The importance of chastity
- The importance of speed reading
- The importance of being careful when parking
- The importance of being consistent
- The importance of not procrastinating
- The importance of being able to fall asleep at will
- The dangers of being too much of a perfectionist
- The dangers of obsessing too much over minor details
- That certain things are overrated
- That certain things aren't overrated
- That having kids is an underrated task
- That Jeyaretnam does make sense most of the time
- How to take care of another person (...a little bit)
- How to bake bread, cake and cookies
- How to do basic jewelery shopping
- How to play puzzle fighter
- How to polish cars
- How to do a bit of hiphop and cheerleading moves
- Touch-typing
- Basic Japanese
- Lots and lots of legal knowledge
- And so many more!

Well, i'm actually stopping here because i'm getting dead tired. It's almost 5am now. Gotta go, i've got a party on tomorrow! Ciao!

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*Gaaah* Mission failed.

Weak, weak, weak. Lol.

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sigh.

Hmmm. I said that i wanted to go to the airport...which meant that i'd have to wake up at around 6am. And so i went to bed at 12am.

Well, it's 3.45am, and i've yet to fall asleep.

I'd been tossing and turning for about three and a half hours, after which i became rather irritated and now i'm on the computer, blogging about it.

Too excited? I dunno. Maybe it's just the irritating sounds coming from my leaky air-conditioner. Sigh...it's time i got a pail. And more towels.

It's definitely not "jet-lag" of my own. I freakin slept at 2.30am last night.

Maybe i AM excited. Or feeling that same old "pressure to fall asleep". Haiz. Greg, you are a weak, weak man. You need to slouch less too; time to go for some backbone lessons. 0.o Hell, even knowing what the problem is has not helped you solve it at all. Tsk tsk.

Alright, i'm actually feeling rather dizzy...i'm THAT sleepy. But i wonder why i suddenly perk up when i'm lying in bed. Meaning my errr consciousness perks up. Not anything else. Whoops i'm starting to talk rubbish...time to go back to err trying to sleep again.

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I'm far too bored for my own good.

It was late morning, and a girl was running through the forests of Sephira.

The girl looked around 17 years of age, and had typical Northern features; light blond hair, big blue eyes, and skin as pale as snow.

She was running for her life.

The girl could hear the faint rustling of leaves behind her, and she knew with dead certainty that the Hunters were still hot on her trail. These people never gave up.

Her green evening dress was in tatters, and splinters stuck to her hands and feet, but she kept on running, ignoring her groaning stomach, the pounding of her heart and the pain in her lungs. She kept her mind on shoving branches out of her way, and putting one foot in front of the other.

Suddenly, she noticed light shining from behind the branches ahead. She pushed those branches aside, and bright sunlight enveloped her as she stumbled out of the forests and into a clearing.

Safety was near; she could see a group of houses in the distance. Civilisation. Now, all she had to do was to outrun them. Pulling all the zona in her immediate surroundings into her, she desensitised her eyes as much as she could and cupped a hand over her eyebrows to prevent herself from getting blinded by the light. And then she made her final dash.

And then she was safe. Safe in the backyard of one of the houses, on the outer fringes of a town. The Hunters were not following her anymore. They would not stop their chasing, but they could not pursue her in another country in broad daylight without getting clearance. She was safe...for now, at least.

The girl felt her strength drain from her legs. Crumpling onto the grass on her back, she gulped deep breaths of air and closed her eyes to the sun, as she felt the pain in her lungs ebb away.

But as the pain in her lungs and legs faded, she began to feel the Hunger. She had been running for weeks, and it had been days since she last fed. She could feel the symptoms of Hunger emerging now; her canines were aching, growing, and all around her a red mist was descending, filling her eyes.

Most of all, the urge to feed was overpowering her. She channeled zona into her ears. Amidst the sound of birds and leaves, someone in the house next door was breathing deeply. Sleeping.

The girl started to crawl towards that house, the Hunger starting to take over her.

I'm sorry, she thought. But she had no choice; she could not fight the Hunger. Some of her friends had died, trying to fight it.

She started running towards the backdoor of the house, and tears rolled down her face as she cried, silently.

I'm sorry.

...

At the edge of the forest, the Hunters watched as the girl scampered through the open field into the group of houses. One of them was a blond-haired young man; handsome, and of medium height, with a sharp chin, sharp nose, and even sharper blue eyes. He stared at the young girl escaping, even as he fiddled with the katana tied to his belt.

The other man towered over the blond-haired man; a red-haired giant of unknown age with a large jaw and even larger muscles. He had a sword on his back that was even more gigantic than he was; the hilt of the sword extended a foot above his head.

The giant waited for the girl to disappear into one of the houses' backyards, and then turned to the blond-haired man with his hand on his sword hilt. "That girl is mighty quick...she's a vamp, and she had her zona control down better than the rest of them. Do we chase her, Captain Hawking?"

Hawking shook his head. "No, Jonas. If anyone in that town finds out and reports us to the authorities in Sephira, questions will be asked as to why we're here without a proper pass, hunting vampires in another country."

"Worse still," he added, "the Association here could trace this to the missing border guard we killed back in the forest."

"We could make things quiet, Captain." Jonas boomed.

Hawking laughed. "Jonas, that girl's so quick, I think keeping things quiet would be nigh impossible. And even if she wasn't that quick, i don't think i'd be able to control myself."

Jonas looked on, expressionless, as Hawking suddenly gripped a bared section of his belted blade tightly with his left hand. Blood from Hawking's hand trickled into his sword sheath, and all that he had to show for the pain was a slight look of irritation.

And just as suddenly, he let go of his blade and licked his hand. "Well, that's that. A fine amount of ruckus that bitch will cause, and we can't do a thing about it. Let's go back to the rest. They've probably finished creating the 'aftermath'."

"And burning the excess." added Jonas.

The two men turned away from the open field. One moment, they were standing there, their backs turned, facing the depths of the forest.

The next moment, they were gone.

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Yahoo. :)

Coco's coming back tomorrow morning. Yay. :)

God i sound like some puppy. But who cares what people think.

Hmmm...i'm thinking of going to the airport tomorrow. I mean, sure, she said not to wake up so early just to pick her up at the airport, but that doesn't mean i can't wake up early and just go to the airport to welcome her WITHOUT picking her up. Mwahahaha literal interpretation rules...purposive interpretation be damned. XD

I miss her too much. It's a little unhealthy. I guess i COULD book her for lunch tomorrow, but what if she's jet-lagged and wants to sleep past lunch? No way am i going to wait till tuesday.

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Oh and...

Oh yeah, and to add on to my previous post...my next car is going to be very small! At least the size of my current car or LESS. Still a five-seater of course...and it's a must that the passengers can get comfortable enough to sleep in it. But apart from that...small, please. Decent power, good fuel efficiency, and stable. Brand doesn't matter...that much. Give me a Lamborgh...okay it really doesn't matter, honestly. :|

Anyway, just before i left for dinner, a very interesting friend-add set me on this face-stalking adventure! Mwahahahaha, i've found you at last!!! >:D

As you know, adventures usually involve a certain amount of risk. Danger. For some reason though, i got out of it pretty much unharmed. On hindsight, it couldn't have been THAT dangerous...i'm not THAT weak...

I'm kind of intrigued, though. Perplexed. As to how that short, skinny China chimpanzee can consistently hit waaaay above his weight. Ahwell...i guess females have their...weird moments. Or maybe he has some special skill that i don't know about.

But whatever that skill is, i don't think i'd ever want to learn it.

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*Gaaaa...

...aAAHHHH!!!*

I scratched my car again!! The left side front bumper this time. And once again, at slow speed into a white pillar...except this time, it was at the multi-storey parking lot at Marine Parade. Bleah...just a few days after i had the car's right side rear bumper spray-painted and the entire car polished!

No dents...i think. But there are a few spots where i could really use a bit of paint. Anyway, i've resolved not to send the car for any repairs or painting unless the car is dented in any places...if it's just scratches - minor or major - i'll let them accumulate until the car looks five years older than it should before sending it for a repaint.

Which is actually what i've been doing, anyway. I only sent the car to repair the last time because of that dent that i had gotten after the house committee gathering.

I mean, well, it kinda sucks to drive around a car full of scratches and stuff...i suppose it's just a "fear of embarrassment" (or "fear of 'losing face'", to be more exact).

But who am i kidding? I'm just a freaking university student who bought this car from my parents using my university fund...i've got enough savings, but i shouldn't be throwing them all away by sending the car to repair every time i get a scratch. Neither should i be using my parents' money to fix my car up.

There's no point wasting all that money just to keep up an image of wealth, and there's really no point keeping my car shiny just to try to compete against all those BMWs in school. I sorta feel like my "status" and "eligibility value" have taken a dip as a result of this resolution...

But what the heck. It's rare to have a car at such a young age anyway, and people are going to get pissed at Mr. Arrogant here, if he still thinks that that's not good enough. It'll be stupid and irresponsible of me to be so materialistic, especially when i'm not even drawing in a salary yet, and i don't want to go down the same road as all those "upper-class" law students.

So yeah. My car is going to be the most grungy, scar-filled, and battle-hardened machine in the whole faculty (if it isn't already)...and if any of you can't bear to sit in such a vehicle, then that's just too bad!

As for me, if the engine and internals are fine and i can always make it look brand-new again without much cost, then i'm perfectly okay with my car! Wouldn't trade it for any other car in the world!

...Lol now THAT'S a really stupid thing to say. Give me a Lamborghini any day hahaha! XD

Although i kinda wish Lamborghinis had better fuel efficiency...hmmm...:\

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*Gaah* i just keep losing! X|

Oh no...i just played mahjong with my family and lost. Big time. :\ In fact, i was the sole loser!!! This is the second time i've gone into double digit losses - out of the three times that i've played...of which i've lost all three - since...well...since she went away...

Sobz...please come back quickly dear, i miss you really badly. :`(

And i kinda need that arse-luck back really badly too. Ahahaha... :|


PS: By the way, last night i slept for TEN bloody hours...uninterrupted!!! OMFG this has gotta be the first time this whole year that this has ever happened...never a moment too late i suppose.

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Pet Society...and grades...

Oh yeah, by the way, i've got something to share for those Pet Society players out there...



Check it out! I've got all 13 gold medals in the game! Cool, huh? XD

Okay, yeah, it's a little crazy and a tad obsessive, but well...i'm the only person among my social circle who has gotten all of them!

Okay, yeah, you can say that i'm the only crazy and obsessed person out of all my friends... :|

I managed to get the full set two days ago, when i finally won the betting game 300 times. Finally. So well, this means that i'm now moving on to BETTER things in life, like say...er...studying? Oh CRAP life sucks.

Anyway, on to more dreary topics...i got my semester results back two days ago...and they put me right smack in the centre of the cohort. I don't even know if i'm in the top half or bottom half...it depends on whether i'm an optimist or a pessimist erps. That's how much i am on the fence...or, as elitists would put it, that's how close i am to the edge of the cliff.

Urgh, well, even though i'm in the centre right now, i wouldn't be surprised if a number of the lower-scoring people in my batch quit law school at the end of our first year. Which would put me in the lower half of the cohort. And i'm still getting quite a bit of pressure from different places to finish in the top half of the group. Which means i have to buck up.

...I wonder why i care so much anyway. The competitiveness of this faculty is killing me. The weight of expectation is killing me. My lack of effective and organised studying and taking of notes are killing me.

Or maybe i don't really care about my results at all. I don't think i felt anything when i saw my results online. I was already...dull to the sense of anticipation and all that anxiousness by then. When i saw my grades, i just thought "Oh, okay.", and i looked away. It's not that i'm too relaxed, it's more like the pressure was too great for me and my body dealt with it by forming this emotional detachment from my grades and from legal theory.

Although, deep down, i could be rather disappointed. That night, i went home and turned on the computer. Then i started humming this song from Third Eye Blind, called "Wake for Young Souls", over and over, and the words in it somehow caught my ear...

..."Today i found my soul, i felt it die inside of me...So I turn to you,
life is like that you know...All things we know are going to fall away from me...Like a grain of sand slips through a good friend's hand..."

...

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Christmas Party!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!!! :):):)

Hope everyone has fun this festive season! I just came back from my mother's extended family's Christmas party, which is something that we've had every year since i was dunno-how-old. Most of us in the family aren't Christians, but well...we do like to celebrate the holiday, and this has become something of a tradition for us.

It started with my older cousins (like 5-12 years older) organising simple games and sing-a-longs way back when i was a toddler or something. And after a few years, the party started to get bigger and better...it helped that our extended family eventually grew to over thirty in number. There used to be games like musical chairs, limborock, dancing, dress-up competitions, guess the number of m&ms and charades, and today we still have the balloon blowing competition and pyramid game and now other stuff like pictionary, taboo, sudoku, and watermelon eating competitions. And there are prizes to be won for all the games of course.

Then there's the video game competition, which first started in 1994, where i lost in the finals to my mum lol. The game we play is almost always a 2D fighter, and i still sorta remember who won during which year, although i can't say that i'm as excited about it as i used to be. I suppose the competition was where my real love for Street Fighter began hahaha!

Our family has really weird but nice traditions, like "lucky draw prizes" at the end of the party where my mum would bring loads of her excess "junk", like paper notebooks and toiletry bags and stuff and pass them around to all the kids to bring home (there were times when she bought underwear and err other things to distribute 0.o...she's quite famous for all that); our present-exchange system structured so that everyone would get at least one christmas present (and where there would be a lot of gossip between the aunties over which people they had to buy presents for); how we've had these competitions for so long already that we have established favourites for every game; the way we play charades, where everyone would deliberately get very close to the answer, but not quite correct yet, just so the person acting out the answer would keep acting...until one of the kids just can't stand it anymore and shouts out the answer (for some candy, of course).

Also, the organisers of the party would always be the kids...when they hit a certain age and seem capable enough, the older kids would pass the "mantle" down and the new group of kids take charge of assigning game prizes, presents, and food and drinks for each family to prepare. And to fix up a timetable, organise the games, come up with the questions and stuff and take charge on the day itself of course.

The "mantle" is passed down very gradually...every couple of years, one younger cousin (because the "kids" are all my cousins lol) would be "inducted" (informally lah) to help out in organising, and another cousin would retire and just err sit back and enjoy. And occasionally help out, i suppose. There'd be two to three organisers every year. I suppose i consider myself retired...i organised last year's Christmas and have done three or four Christmas parties in total. University life has its moments of free time, but all of it is spent with a tinge of guilt...urgh. :|

Anyway the party yesterday was pretty fun! Seemed a bit shorter and less eventful, but i suppose that's because we've been making the party more free and easy over the years...not to mention that we haven't had family gatherings regularly for a very long time, and i AM growing old (and therefore time passes faster for me...yikes).

I won the video game competition and pyramid game! Mwahahaha i take pride in being able to explain things to people thoroughly...and to the point too, if there's very little time. My Christmas presents have been pretty nice as well...very practical and useful stuff, nothing too extravagant and wasteful, or useless and cheap. Our family is a pretty nice bunch! :)

We're a pretty funny bunch too! Our family's got this sense of humour that probably can't be understood unless you know us well enough.

For example, we played this one-on-one buzzer game yesterday, where, at one point, competitors have to answer the question (or rather category) with an example. We'd rush to press the bell and there was a three second time-limit before the person who pressed the bell had to answer or otherwise forfeit the points. This made for some funny answers...

Category: Things you'd find in a woman's handbag...
Uncle no. 1 presses the bell: "Ahh ermm...torchlight!"

Lol what the hell. Everyone started laughing, discussing the possibilities and making fun of him. My dad exclaimed that we should all go check his wife's handbag now, to see if she carried a torchlight or not.

Category: Food you can eat without chewing...
Uncle no. 2 presses the bell: "Err jelly......fish!

Immediately, he puts his face in his hands and exclaims: "Oh shit, i wanted to say jelly!!!"

Category: Things a girl would have to know about her boyfriend before marrying him...

My mum, instead of pressing the bell, starts taunting her opponent Darren, my twelve year old pre-pubescent cousin (who is err MOST likely single right now): "Ah hah! This one you confirm don't know!"

Darren proceeds to press the bell, and exclaims: "...WHO THE BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER IS!"

Okay, i'm not sure if these are all inside jokes, but well yeah...back then, i thought that they were damn freaking funny.

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Why Azzy always holds the flag...

Woohoo, i just figured out a little mystery!

While racing with our pets in Pet Society, Coco and i always wondered why the hell the pet holding the flag at the starting line was always Adrianni's pet, Azzy (except of course when Azzy was in the race too).

And the answer to that is really quite simple...it's all organised by the alphabetical order of the pets' owners' names!

I only realised this while i was playing Coco's pet, Lala, in the races, and was wondering why my own pet (meaning Gregory's Pet) was never part of the audience in the stands.

I observed that the pets that appeared in both my races and hers were often the same...and then it hit me. David's pet was almost always there. Darinne's, Desiree's, Alvin's, Amy's, Ashwin's, and Charmaine(Alaris)'s pets too. When i played my pet, i'd see the same pets, including Coco's pet and *er hem* Mr Ang Wei Ming's pet in the stands all the time.

And whenever Adrianni's pet was racing, Alcina's pet, Binky, who'd normally be in the stands, would be the one who took over flag duties! So yeah. The pets that appear in the stands are always those with owners who are the first few in alphabetical order. And the one who holds the flag is the pet whose owner is the first in alphabetical order. Just in case any of you were wondering too.

And if any of you had figured the mystery out like long long long long ago and way way way way before i did, just shaddup and let me revel in my "genius discovery" for a bit alright. LOL. XD

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A moment to be serious.

Hmmm. I've been having an sms chat with Dory over the past few days, and although the conversation certainly helps to bring my issues to light, it also forces me to confront them instead of living in blissful - if slightly dissatisfied - ignorance.

And yeah, if i think hard enough, i really do have fears that i'm just a spare tyre. Because of how close they were, and because, as she had told me before, if her ex hadn't dumped her, she would definitely still be happy together with him...and i think i most likely wouldn't have stood a chance. And in any case, i had first gotten her attention because i smiled just like him. And wore that t-shirt that reminded her of him.

It somehow doesn't matter if i'm generally far better than him as a person or not, because i've always been an idealist romantic, and i've always believed in this thing called "chemistry"...for this belief, i blame TV shows - especially Taiwanese and Korean dramas - where the generally good, eligible guy tends to lose the girl and the bad boy with the most chemistry (and who keeps getting into special situations with the girl) gets the girl.

I think i've got to stop watching such TV shows at dinner...they're rubbing me the wrong way. I know that these TV shows' scenarios aren't realistic and don't often happen in real life; in real life, the good, boring boys win and have relatively happy families. Still, i can't help but get this impression that such scenarios are the ideal for a perfect relationship, and you people know that i'm a horrible OCD-stricken idealist perfectionist.

Ahwell. But there really isn't anything that can be done about this kind of insecurity, except to face it and get used to it. She's already done her best to dispel such thoughts. I'm just letting my paranoia and all this "pop culture" get to me. It's horrible; when she reassures me, i can't bring myself to fully believe it, and yet i keep secretly and impliedly asking for more...if i keep this up, there would be no end to my needs, but someday those reassurances will run out. I've got to learn to handle these issues on my own before that happens...for both our sakes.

Then again, i think that it's a rather normal problem to have. If you're getting into a new relationship at this time of your life, there're bound to be a lot of exes. Not many people nowadays are as goody and introverted and shy and inexperienced with relationships as...well...me. Erps. :| Sigh...i wish i had been more mentally prepared though. I wish there was some way to make myself take things easy.

Most of all, i'm sorry dear, for being such a self-centred prick; for complaining so much when you're the one who has suffered the most; for having such illogical fears and issues, and for blogging about this and making you concerned. :\ I'll pick myself up soon, don't worry about it...and if you have any problems of your own, please do tell me about them.

Anyway, i suppose i've said all i can say about this for now. If anyone is reading this, please do me a favour and not mention what i wrote here to me...i'm kinda tired of talking about it and do not wish to think about it any further. Time to go remove this blog link from my facebook profile...i don't want too many people reading stuff like this.

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Blogging to pass a few minutes.

Sigh. My luck with mahjong was horrible yesterday against my relatives.

Oh, but today, i finally managed to complete Super Puzzle Fighter in hard difficulty mode without losing at all! :) Now that i've accomplished that...i don't think i want to play on hard difficulty mode anymore...it's just too stressful! Hahaha time to play normal difficulty mode again and whoop some lousy asses with super moves! XD

Anyway...hmm. Nothing much else to write. I've done some of the proposal write-up. Waiting for the rest to give their input. Watching soccer now (and betting on races in Pet Society of course...only 78 races to win!!! >.<).

Arsenal and Liverpool are currently at 1-1...but i really don't know who to support. The wife or the mistress. I'd support the mistress normally, but the wife's leading the table now, and has a much better chance of winning the league. I just don't want Chelski or especially Manure to win the title next year.

Ahwell. Oh man, just when i was about to post this, it seemed like Fabregas got badly injured. Hot damn. Hope he recovers fast sia...i don't want to see a Denilson and Eboue/Song central midfield partnership ever again!!!

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Zzz.

Hmm. You know what...i don't think i care anymore...

...whether overseas smses are expensive or not. Lol!

Argh but well. Coco might care. Anyway, i've tidied my room up a little bit...feeling a little bored right now. I'm getting sick of Pet Society...it's all this race betting that i'm doing...

I only managed 20 wins today...i really hate MMORPG-style grinding and what i'm doing is pretty close. It'll only get worse if i spend my entire day brushing my pet. 0.o Argh...i need to change my activities a little bit.

Maybe i should resume Mass Effect after having taken a two day break from it...or i should just finish watching Ghost Hound. Heck, maybe i should just do some exercise. :|

Well, all that will come after i'm done with the rag '09 proposal draft! Going to get started on it after my late-night shower.

I'm procrastinating quite a bit though. Damn. On something as fun as a rag proposal draft. Criminal law and contract law are going to be far worse.

I think i'm scared of starting lessons again in January. A little bit.

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I'm awake.

Coco smsed me last night (meaning early this morning), before i was about to sleep! I happily replied...but then now i wonder if my sms will ever reach her...:| if she has roaming but i don't, is that sufficient? How much does it cost to send overseas smses anyway? Exact figures please, i think i've heard enough "a bomb" as it is lol.

And i only realised late last night, in between periods of sleep, that i had forgotten to take back my bolster. :|

Okay, sorry for that random moment.

Anyway, after that slightly emo crap last night and five hours of fitful, intermittent and dream-filled sleep, i finally emerged from my room this late morning feeling a little...different. Better.

It's like...like i finally understood another aspect of her, and what she had gone through in the beginning of the year. Sort of. Not completely, but extensively enough.

I feel really sorry for her...all that crying and pain...but, let me be clear on this one: i'm not in it out of pity, or for the sake of achieving some perfectionist ideal i must deal with every relationship perfectly, regardless of who i'm in it with. I've probably been far from perfect so far; especially with my constant rants on this blog (despite me already saying that this was going to stop! >.<).

Still, my perfectionist self is sufficiently awake now, and he's purring in satisfaction in one corner of my mind.

The bastard.

Alright, well, i've gotta go! I have ten minutes to get my ass down to Jalan Bukit Merah for a wicked game of mahjong with kenneth, chinhow, and probably kenneth's brother...hope i don't lose! (I'm not going to hope that i win...that might be asking for a little too much! Damn, but i thought that i didn't believe in karma! XD)

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Damn, i should've put a Scout's Honour to it.

*Ahh ahh argghh!!*

Ouch.

Sorry about that. It's just that i was in the midst of conducting some odd form of sado-masochism on myself. Currently, i'm pulling a needle filled with dissolved sodium chloride and cocaine (for that extra bit of kick when i go) out from my veins. I was about to do something really stupid in a wild fit of SM but suddenly decided against it. Still, some of the stuff might've gotten in. Because i'm feeling a little high now, yet very...dull and weak-hearted, at the same time.

Okay, i'm not actually killing myself or inflicting pain on myself in the name of pleasure (and i don't associate pain with pleasure) or anything remotely of the sort (and don't come to me for cocaine...i don't have any!!! >.<).

But what i've been doing for the past five hours certainly feels like it.

It's probably because i'm dead bored. Coco's overseas, she doesn't have access to the internet, she doesn't have roaming enabled and any call she makes would be expensive as hell anyway. She was right in a sense...there's this hole in my social life (and my life in general) now that she's gone (temporarily).

I've been spending my time playing lame games and betting on races on Pet Society simply because i want to get the last gold medal. I've won 80 times but lost 550 coins in the process. Meaning I've won 80 times and lost 190 times...i guess this is definitely a case of BAD LUCK, given that i have a 1/3 chance of winning each race. Bleah. I've got nothing much in the near future that i'm really looking forward to, and i can't even give her a call or anything like that.

Anyway, to put my "sado-masochism" simply (or perhaps rather cryptically), my perfectionism means that, if i'm supposedly SUPPOSED to know everything, than i WILL try to find out everything, or wallow in my ignorance for the rest of my life.

So i did some heavy snooping that's probably going to piss some people off and kill a wee bit of trust. (Aahhhh i'm sorry; i just couldn't resist it!!!) And, well, i've finally read the remainder. I've read EVERYTHING.

...Well, nearly everything. I didn't/couldn't read the other one. Reading it might've been too much anyway. There IS an extent to knowing everything.

It hurt. It really did. Maybe it's because i'm just feeling a little...inferior, what with my totally geek, ultra-clean background and suahku, eccentric self. Or maybe it's because i'm feeling self-centred and there aren't as many posts about me. Perhaps it's just that same old private rant of mine getting recycled over and over.

Or maybe it's because my perfectionist, OCD-inflicted self wanted to know everything, but this has made me realise how little i really know. I barely recognise the person behind the words. Which irks me to no end. I'm not sure if i could have connected with the person behind the words. Which irks me to no end.

But you know what? I'm still alive. And i'm stronger for it; my pain-barrier has been brought to a higher level. I'm feeling like shit...but at least i know - for sure this time - that i can recover from it.

And even as the pain fades, i'm beginning to realise how badly i want to make this all work out, and how important it is that, perfectionist fantasies aside, i still remain sufficiently stable and steadfast. Perhaps "sado-masochism" can be a good thing, after all. :|

So, to my perfectionist, OCD-inflicted self, are you finally satisfied??? Or do you still want to explore the newly opened well of mysteries???

...I don't hear an answer.

My perfectionist self is rather subdued at the moment. Well, that's fine by me. You've already caused everyone enough trouble as it is. You've made me into the man i am now. But if i could eliminate you for good, i certainly would.

Anyway it's late. It's 4:30am in fact, and i've gotta wake up at 10am for mahjong. Don't think i'll shower tonight...if i do that, i'll only sleep at 5am.

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Random.

Hmm. Something rather major happened to me today.

But anyway, Law Rag Committee '09 rocks! Mwahahaha my committee members contributed so many wonderful ideas...i can't wait to see those ideas come alive! :)

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Scratched the ride again.

Argh i dented my car's rear bumper two days ago. And scratched the side of it pretty badly too.

Sigh...of the three times that i've damaged my car, all three occurred while i was in the midst of parking, and twice it occurred in my own freakin home.

My goodness. I think i let my guard down quite a bit while parking, especially when i'm parking at home. Familiarity breeds...er...complacency.

Not to mention that my home's parking area is treacherous. If you don't go to my place so often, you should never park inside my house's gates (park inside one of the lanes beside it). That's because it takes quite a bit of effort to get used to parking inside my gates, and it's really not worth it if you're not a regular visitor.

Then again, i shouldn't have reversed the car into the pillar beside my main door like i did...there weren't any other cars parked inside at all, and it was a very EASY manouever for me, given the number of times i've done it. Sigh...i was in a rush and just got complacent, i suppose.

It's the same pillar that i bumped into the last time too, except that i scratched my FRONT bumper the last time. That pillar is strong as hell; my car gets a dent but the pillar only gets a bit of its paint chipped off.

Anyway i'll go get the car repaired and repainted sometime next week. Expensive sia. Sigh.

Alright, well, i'm off to plan for rag meeting later today! Ciao!

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Yellow is a sick colour (warning: this entry contains sick stuff...no kidding!! 0.o)

Yikes. Why has the skin around my purple bruises turned yellow in colour? 0.o This is odd, to say the least. At least for someone who hasn't had such a thing happen to him before. It's like i applied that ancient yellow antiseptic medication to my bruises and the medication had dyed my skin yellow.

I have a few more yellow spots appearing on my upper body too, and one on my inner thigh. The one on my thigh was where i was hit by a painball. And when i press on the yellow spots on my upper body, it ACHES, and i just KNOW that these were the parts of my body that were hit by painballs (oh, i'm sorry...painTballs...:| ), but weren't hit severely enough to leave a purple bruise. In other words, the "invisible bruises" are starting to emerge.

Sick.

Speaking of yellow, worse still is that scrape of mine that i had gotten during basketball. I wasn't planning to blog about it, but well...the scrape's been a bright yellow ever since the day after i had gotten it...like yellowish white. And it had been drying properly.

But well...i guess i had been ignoring it for quite some time. I blame it on Mass Effect...it's an awesome game! Go try it out! XD

Anyway, i just finished my shower, and just when i had started typing this blog entry, i looked down at my knee and suddenly realised that the scab had somehow expanded and burst, and the pus was leaking out...

The pus was a smooth, deep yellow colour...just like liquid egg yolk. And as i stared at the pus leaking out of my scab, thick and viscous, yet liquid all the same, i was suddenly reminded of how it looks when u accidentally break the egg yolk of a fried egg done easy-over, and the yolk starts seeping out slowly...

SICK.

Holy shit. In any case, i've cleaned up the yolk...er, pus...with tissue paper, and i shall hope that the wound dries up for REAL when i wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to have egg yolk...er, pus...all over my bed. Hmmm...i wonder how the yolk...er, pus...would taste like if i were to fry it with some bacon...erm, er...0.o

...Well, anyway, putting all that aside, i've learnt something really important over the past few days. And that is that you won't ever truly appreciate something until there is a possibility that you're going to lose it for good. Only then, would you realise your good fortune in having it in the first place, and only then would you realise that the tiny details that you had complained about aren't very important at all.

It's really a cliche-ish thing to say, but yeah, all of us should learn to appreciate what we have as far as possible, because we never know when we're going to lose it all. And we shouldn't wait until the danger of losing what we have is apparent before appreciating what we have.

And don't think you already understand what i'm saying, because i had heard so many people give that same advice to me, and i thought i knew what they meant. But it is only NOW that i UNDERSTAND their advice.

Or at least i think i do. It's hard to tell. By the way, this has nothing to do with appreciating my currently yellow and deteriorating body! >.<

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Car impatience.

Okay, i managed to find a place to refuel today. :)

I must say though, that driving has made me rather impatient at times. There were two drivers being total road hoggers today...a "safe" driver occupying the right lane (the guilty one) and a soliciting cab driver occupying the left lane (the innocent one). They could obviously drive fast enough to go past the green light, and it's not as if they couldn't estimate the timing...there was the freaking green-man timer to refer to.

I was driving behind them, and i had MORE than enough time to drive past the green light...and still keep within speed limits too! But they kept going at a snail's pace, and i couldn't find any way of overtaking either of them because both cars closed up all avenues.

And when the traffic light eventually turned orange and then red, both cars stopped in front of the light. And then i belted out the longest chain of swear words i have ever used on anyone in this whole entire year. All at the top of my voice. Within the confines of my car, of course.

It felt strangely relieving.

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Ahh where's the Esso station...

I think i'm running a little low on petrol. :|

The road is bumpy, i've been getting lost too many times and taking too many detours and there are no refueling points in sight.

I wish i could make my own fuel. Alternatively, a better sense of direction is just as welcome.

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Brunner.

Yesterday (meaning 8 december or the 11th day of the 11th month of the Chinese calendar...meaning one hour ago) was my chinese birthday! So i ate mee suah. There wasn't any liver...which i suppose is probably a good thing lol.

And that, techically, was my dinner. Or perhaps it should be more appropriately called supper. But if that was supper, then my breakfast, lunch AND dinner would have been the high tea that my sis treated me to at the Swiss Hotel yesterday. Three meals turned into one...what would that be called? Brunner? 0.o

Brunner/high tea was the usual hotel buffet experience for me i guess. I took over $40-50 worth of salmon sashimi...

...and then i went for dessert. XD

LOL but anyway the high tea was pretty good, because the sashimi was pretty fresh and very tasty! A very good standard of sashimi overall, compared to other buffets that don't specialise in Japanese food.

In between brunner and supper, i was following my family around Parkway Parade and playing mahjong with Dory, ChuaH and Phoon! Mwahaha i won...which is pretty amazing, given that i always tend to lose whenever Dorinda plays. Erps. :| Even when she's playing on my home ground too.

Anyway i'm going to finish my daily dose of Pet Society as soon as i can, so that i can get to work on Mass Effect as soon as possible!

Lol by the way, i realise that i've been posting a LOT these days...oh man but i'm just in such a good writing mood! Hahaha...not sure if it's a good thing though, given that the only people that i now know who blog regularly are err girls.

Not that there's errr anything wrong with being a girl.

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...deep purple bruises...

Oh man. Took a shower just now and only then did i notice that i have two DEEP PURPLE bruises on my right shoulder and collar bone. 0.o Paintball is wicked sick. I wonder why paintball bruises look like a ring with a lighter coloured centre though. My brain isn't thinking hard enough at the moment to figure it out.

The purple ones hurt less than the red ones too. Odd. But that's why i didn't notice those two bruises until now. I'd look for more purple bruises on my body but i can't be bothered right now.

Anyway i wish the scrape on my knee would heal faster. I think the antibiotic cream i'm applying is counter-productive because it prevents the wound from drying up and forming a scab.

I wish i were less forgetful. Bleah. Yet another thing to add to my list of stuff to improve on.

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Just came back from paintball!

Whew...paintball was extremely tiring! My legs were dead after basketball, and now i'm bruised in a few places from the paintballs. I'd say that overall the experience was very fun!

Well, er...minus the hot, sunny weather and buckets of sweat seeping out from inside my windbreaker (yes, i came very well protected lol). And minus the smelly helmets. And the PAIN.

LOL yes it was painful. I didn't get hit for the first round because i was being really cautious. Then i decided to move up one bound nearer to the "enemy" for the next round, and *kapow*!!! I got hit loads of times. And MAN did it hurt! >.< It's like getting an ant sting and when u get hit the paintball leaves a red bruise.

For your information, those paintballs are fired at 200 feet per second...which comes up to about 220km/h...that's like three times the speed of a car. :| The balls are soft...but not that soft. You can press down on it with some force and it won't burst. It was most painful when the balls hit me...and bounced off. Ouch.

Anyway it seems that i left the place just on time (the paintball place is located north from the Yishun area...which is like so damn far from civilisation haha!) because i'll be going out in ten minutes...time to go get changed!

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My basketball is sucking.

Woots i did something very extremely crazy yesterday. And i played basketball too; my first time in months (and still only my second time in over a year). My shooting sucks now! Hahaha every shot went either too much to the left or didnt even reach the rim. Horrible. Disappointing. I'd still miss consistently when i shot from about two metres from the net. Disgusting.

My inside shot was still okay though...so i ended up playing as a power forward the entire time. Which sucks. I used to play as a shooting guard all the time, back in JC and secondary school, and now i was playing an inside role simply because i was useless on the outside. Unforgivable.

Sigh...it's time to get more practice. Well, aside from all that, i bought myself a new Razer mouse and the game Mass Effect! Time to try the game out...after Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, after clearing some anime, and when i have free time, of course!

Lol i still remember the days when i'd rush back home to try out a new computer game the instant i bought it. And i'd be so engrossed by the first play-through that i'd sleep way past midnight! This time, i've been home for nearly three hours now and i haven't even taken the game disc out yet, much less loaded it into my computer.

Heck, i haven't even torn open the plastic wrapping covering the game box yet. HELL, i haven't even taken the game box with its plastic wrapping out of the freakin SHOPPING BAG yet. The bag's still lying in one corner of the room. Mwahahaha i like this self-control of mine. Feels like i'm finally growing up. Or is that growing old...0.o

Oh, and one thing i learnt today...a small act of kindness does wonders for your self-esteem! I still maintain that doing good deeds to make yourself feel better isn't really the right way to go about things, but well...i was feeling pretty shitty and pissed off with myself on the way back home today.

But, when i was at the petrol station filling up my car, i felt a sudden impulse, and exchanged a five dollar note with the cashier for small change and gave the old man who topped up my petrol for me a one dollar tip. He was really grateful, and suddenly i was feeling pretty good about myself all over again. :)

Okay, maybe i'm feeling TOO good about myself. :| It kinda shows in the words of this blog post...

Anyway...gotta go sleep! It's already past 4:30am! Tomorrow (or rather, later today), i'll be crawling around in the dirt, preparing to snipe a poor soul from a deep dark corner or to ambush a bunch of warriors with all weapons blazing. Yes, that's right: IT'S WAR.

Lol, actually it's just paintball. But it's still going to be damn fun! I think. Hope my bruises and err other temporary physical conditions don't hinder my performance too much. It'll be yet another first-time activity for me, so i won't really know what to expect, but i'll do my best! Oh and if i go down, i'll go down fighting! XD

Well erm...at least as much as the rules allow lah. :|

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What happened after my last post.

Whahaha, i went off for dinner after posting my last post, and after that, i went out to that bar near Centrepoint (i still don't bloody know what it's called...sigh i'm honestly ashamed of my suahkuness) where i had beer and supper with my Law OG1 mates. In the midst of chatting, some of the guys started talking about how pretty Emma Watson is in the Harry Potter movies and when exactly she started "getting pretty".

Talk soon drifted off to how Cho Chang was not pretty in the movies at all (this might sound familiar to regular readers of this blog). And then, Juliet (or was it Navin) started mentioning rumours about how the actress for Cho Chang got the role because she had a rich father from Hong Kong who supposedly paid the movie producers off. Talk resumed again about how Cho Chang was supposed to be very pretty (in the books) and was thus not pretty enough (in the movies), and then Kar Wei suddenly interjected with assertiveness, confidence blazing in her smouldering (because she had put eyeliner) eyes:

"Hah! Come on guys, if MY dad had lots of money and could afford to do such things...I would have been in Harry Potter!"

LOL. Oh man. The fact that i remembered rather clearly what she had said means that this statement must have been rather awesome. Accordingly, i award Kar Wei with the inaugural "Statement of the Day" award...that's if i had actually wanted to do this every day.

But anyway. It's 2am, time to sleep...i've gotta wake up at 9am tomorrow to go back to SCHOOL for basketball! Woohoo! Tomorrow's going to be a VERY eventful day hahaha!

Oh wait, but before that, i have to go play Pet Society...:|

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YES, IT'S OVERRRRR!!!

YAAAAAAAHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!

Oh man. Am i so tired right now. Tired, but happy. :) These have been really trying times. Anyway, there's not much time to rest...i've got so many things to do but so little time! My holidays run from now until 12 January (i think). Which isn't too bad, considering that medicine has only 2 weeks of holiday from what i've heard. I've got quite a few events coming up, and seeing as to how there is zero chance that i have any stalkers left since my one month disappearance off the face of society, i shall freely post my schedule right up on this blog! :)

TODAY: Supper at Timbre @ The Arts House with Navin and the rest of OG1
6 Dec: Morning basketball, lunch with Coco, afternoon pain at Suntec, evening at Jazz @ Southbridge
7 Dec: Paintball with Ken, Goat & Chin, (maybe) Steve Aoki @ Zouk
10 Dec: (maybe) Mambo @ Zouk
13 Dec: VJC House Committee Gathering
14/15/16 Dec: Rag Committee Meeting
16 Dec: Outing with Coco
17 Dec: NS IPPT Test at Bedok Camp
18 Dec: Coco flies off, David's birthday party @ Sentosa
21 Dec: (maybe) Yilin's costume party, meet-up with zhihong and army friends
23 Dec: FOCC Exco party at Dorothy's
24 Dec: Low Family's Christmas party
29-30 Dec: FOCC Exco chalet & stayover, Coco flies back
31 Dec: My own 21st Birthday!

Woohoo and probably more to come! In my free time, i shall catch-up on some anime (i haven't watched any new episodes for about FOUR months now!), do regular exercise, play Mass Effect and Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, do up my Rag 09 proposal, play mahjong, slack, SLEEP, and study Contract and Criminal Law for next semester (otherwise i'll FALL BEHIND...studying during the holidays is the NORM)! Sounds like a plan, huh? -_^

In any case, if there are any new events during the holidays, please sms me or tag on my board and i'll try to fit it into my rather tight but nevertheless not yet full schedule! Cheers!

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Urgh..four more days to the test..

Sigh. This sucks. I'm feeling rather depressed. Hardly anything seems to be looking up at the moment.

The law of contract is actually very interesting. Yes, seriously. I find the contract textbook to be one of the most interesting reads ever. There's so much intrigue, and reading the judges' rationale for their rulings in full sorta gives me an insight into the way they think. I don't agree with some of them. And i like rationalising why i think that there should've been another result. It's actually very fun and thought-provoking.

Learning the RULES of contract in preparation for the test, however, is boring like hell. This, of course, is mainly because i no longer have the time to read the textbook in order to prepare for the test; reading the rest of the necessary topics would take another ten days. The textbook is far too detailed and long-winded. I take too much time to absorb the arguments and form my own opinions and criticisms.

And so i read notes. And muggers. Which are so dry and uninteresting that i end up getting distracted easily and dallying around...my revisions starts to go much slower and i start looking at the err dark side of my life and at all the imperfections and dissatisfactions.

Gosh...i'm tired of having to prove myself over and over again in this kind of setting. I'm tired of having to MEMORISE points in my notes and CRAM. I want to just sit down and LISTEN in lectures and tutorials, and just DISCUSS and LEARN, without having to lose focus and interest in class because i've missed some of the teacher's points and have lost sight of the big picture.

And THAT's because i'm busy TAKING NOTES in preparation for some year-end test, and in anticipation of some hard-core CRAMMING for a whole week before that. And i CAN'T multi-task that well. If i listen and take notes, the teacher would have finished the next point before i even formulate my thoughts. If i focus on taking notes, it will be akin to not listening to the lecture at all.

GODDAMMIT. In addition to actually learning the law and its theories, we have to bloody learn how to organise our time during the test, how to answer test questions, how to plan our revision, etc etc etc...gaah. I'm sick of this.

I don't think i care much for the contract test anymore. I hope friday comes sooner, because i don't really care much for being fully prepared anymore. Come and get me, contract test, for i am sick of you and i just want to get you over and done with.

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