A mahjong announcement

I'd just like to announce something...

I'VE WON QING YI SE AT MAHJONG TODAY!!! Mwahahahaha it's finally come! My first qing yi se win during a normal game of mahjong this WHOLE YEAR!! It was during mahjong with kenneth & gang, and well, i suppose i had it coming, because my luck during the previous games was just so BAD. I lost 7-8bucks while i was at his place the last time, and today was no different..but at least i got a consolation prize! It's kinda like losing a soccer match as a striker, but still managing to score one and breaking your scoring duck...still a decent feeling lah. So late in the year too, but better now than never lah haha.

It was a sucky qing yi se though..just si tai only with no other special stuff. Maybe tomorrow might be different?

Well...we'll see! Really looking forward to tomorrow!

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The Curse of the Vampiric Insomnia

Have you ever had sleepless nights before? You know, the type where you've got so many thoughts in your head that you're unable to just wipe out and knock off?

I admit that i'm quite a victim of insomnia...which's probably why i'm such a nocturnal creature (and why i've got the eyebags 0.0)...whenever i can, i usually just stay awake until i'm too stoned to do anything but sleep (which's normally in the 5-8am range). Because, hey, it saves time. Of course, i suffer later on when school or army comes around, when my waking time isn't my own...from what i can tell, having an early morning appointment or deadline only makes sleeping the night before all the more difficult.

It's something to do with my thoughts, you see. I kinda consider myself a person who thinks a lot, and to many of my friends, i'm a guy with lots of wacky ideas and who sometimes thinks too much (in fact, i think half my wacky ideas come when i'm having insomnia). And at night, in my bed, when there's no one around, no music is playing and it's total darkness, the thoughts just keep coming. I try to clear my head, breathe deeply and focus on nothing, but before i can get into any rhythm, a thought would float back and trigger my consciousness, and before i know it, i'd be having another conversation with myself about something.

Take today for example. Last night, i went to sleep at around 2am, with the knowledge that with a rock-climbing appointment at 9.45am at Tanjong Pagar, i just had to wake up at 9 in the morning. Which left me with 7hrs of sleep, which isn't really too bad. I had no problems sleeping at 2am, which isn't really the norm, but the problem came when i woke up prematurely at 5 in the morning.

I then began trying to go back to sleep...but of course i couldn't. And it's not because i had slept enough, because my eyes are so freakin tired right now and i remember yawning a LOT even then. And it wasn't "jet lag" too..i slept at 4am the day before, which wasn't much different from 2am.

Sometimes i think that there's a God of Sleep out there who just isn't happy with what i did in my past life...I'd toss and turn and change sleeping positions, and just when i found some measure of inner-peace, an itchor ache would start on my neck or back which would require me to move again and snap out of sleep mode.

And the thoughts played a massive part again, of course. This morning, i lay in bed talking to myself (in my head of course) about girls, religion, computer games, anime like kiba, naruto and bleach, school, A levels, my JC class, orientation 2004, orientation 2005, r-o-d-e-o cheers, computer games, law, medicine, christmas celebrations....i thought about my secondary school friends that i'd almost forgotten, about my life in America that i thought i HAD forgotten...

And then after 3hours of that, i finally decided that, hey, i just wasn't going to sleep anymore no matter how hard i try. So i got up, and did the first thing that was on my mind; get a drink of water, and turn on the computer to type out all this on notepad to post on my blog later when the internet became stable again. You know, before i forget the whole disaster.

This isn't the only time that's happened to me, of course. I can still remember a few instances in secondary school and JC, not to mention army. The night before field camp was especially hard...
The worst, however, was probably the night before my first A level paper, GP. I had essay writing in the morning at 7.45am or sometime around then and had to wake up at 6.30, and so i cleverly planned my time such that i was in bed by 9pm the night before.

Except that i stayed awake in my bed until about 4 in the morning. I even took sleeping pills from my mum...somehow it just didn't help as well. I can still recall hitting my head and swearing at myself in my frustration to try to get my brain to just shut up.

At around 3am, i had to get up to get a change of clothes because i had panicked so much as i saw my sleeping time dwindle down to a mere few hours, and was literally in cold sweat. And on the verge of tears, too. The next day was just a total blur..i'm quite grateful that i somehow got through the day without too much trouble.

Anyway, i've gotta solve this problem fast...sleeping-trouble isn't a good thing to keep around with me. I should find some way to shut thoughts from my mind and stop it from wandering for at least one minute without the help of music (somehow i think i really lack thought-discipline {or ANY discipline for that matter}..like instead of itchy hands i've got an itchy mind..)...or at least buy some super-strong sleeping pills which actually work.

If it's really because of an "itchy mind"..perhaps i should try NOT trying so hard to sleep in the first place..i get the feeling that the more i force myself to keep a blank mind, the MORE un-blank my mind gets.

Well, it's now 8.45am..about the time that i should eat breakfast and get ready for rock-climbing...i really hope i don't fall off the wall or whatever. Oh and i'm pretty stoned at the moment, so please forgive me for any grammatical errors and typos.

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Merry Christmas to All!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!

Errr..yup, that's about it.

Hehz.

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Don't buy skirts.

Really. Don't buy skirts as presents if you're a guy. Meaning without your girlfriend/friend/whatever to help you. It's just how it is. I spent quite a lot of time earlier at Vivo trying to get one, and it took lots of effort just finding WHICH shop to get it from (but that's Vivo's fault lah..so bloody big and crowded!!).

Knowing the waist size isn't good enough..and it's not because of patterns on the skirt or whatever. I was in this shop where there were so many different cuts for skirts of similiar waist size...and it's not just the length, but the material and the width of the hem of the skirt that makes it all so complicated. The thing is, you just know that all this is somehow supposed to matter but as a guy, you really don't know why!

Well, anyway, if you want to get a skirt for a Christmas or birthday gift...just don't. Let the girl buy her own skirts.

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It's that same crappy feeling again.

Urgh. The december birthday gathering on the 23rd got postponed 'cos some people couldn't make it...it's probably going to be placed somewhere nearer my birthday, like around 28-30th dec. So now i'll have to wait another day before anything interesting happens with my life. Last weekend was really much better.

Now there's nothing on tomorrow..and i've spent the whole day at home by myself...kinda feels like a normal army weekend. I haven't talked to anyone outside my family for the whole of today, and today (and probably tomorrow) i'll be at the computer fooling around with minesweeper, watching anime, falling half asleep at dota, THEN eating dinner out with my family, and shopping with my family again..not that it's a bad thing, not at all...and it's not that i'm tired of my family, but i'd like to have outings with family PLUS outings with other people as well...

The sun is setting and i'm getting really sleepy...i'm feeling horribly lonely, deathly tired and goddamned stoned.

It's that same crappy feeling again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the one that i've been having this whole year.

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It's Christmas Period (Argh!!)

Yes...it's Christmas time once again...the festive season when everyone's out shopping and it gets increasingly difficult to get parking spaces somehow...the time when it's the parents that flock to video game stores, not the kids...the time when "gift sets" are out because stores just KNOW that you'll have to get SOMETHING...the time when things're all 20% off..or so they seem...it's a lot of things to lots of people, but for me, Christmas time = STRESS..and i can't remember how long it has been since i last enjoyed stress...

I'll be the first to admit that i suck at buying gifts, and that i get sleepless nights over it...i'm not the type who can just get ANYTHING, but eventually i know that i have to make a decision and get a gift for that someone...currently, i'm having it easy 'cos it's just my family's stuff that i'm focusing on, but if i want to get Christmas gifts for my friends too..argh. I wish i knew what they need or want. My family too. I know that if my kids (in the future) asked me what i wanted, i would tell them EXACTLY what are my material wants, and not some lame crap like "surprise me", 'cos it'll give them less of a headache, ease the pressure on them, benefit both parties, and of course, it actually does answer their question.

At least i know what i need, want and desire in my life at the current moment.

What i need's probably...Companionship. A new toothbrush (erps). More ankle socks. A book on Law. Eyebag surgery 0.0. A driving licence. More hard-disk space. More sleep. School.

What i want is probably...A PS2. More social events. Another pair of boardshorts. More tops. A "street-style" belt to go with my jeans. A faster internet connection. A debit card. A portable DIVX-capable dvd player that can rewind..and fast forward for that matter.

What i desire (and probably can't get for now) is probably...A PS3. A car. Wealth. Knowlege of what lies beyond...And a cute, sweet girlfriend (whose identity i MIGHT know lol).

And, oh yes...ORD.

Oh, and also...A MACHINE THAT CAN GIVE ME THE PERFECT GIFT TO GIVE TO SOMEONE JUST BY PUTTING MONEY INSIDE! Or should that listed as a need...LOL!!

Ahh whatever...haiz.

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3 more days to go...

Haha this weekend was fun! Well, i mean excluding the friday guard duty that we did with less than 2/3 the manpower that we're supposed to have (super stressful and tiring!! >.<). Details details..too many things happened lah haha! But anyway, i think we should have more outings! More OG outings, more house-comm gatherings, more "that-usual-group" outings, more mahjong with different groups of people...and LESS computer gaming to balance that. Lol.

The former is harder to get though..what with army and people wanting most of their time to themselves..

Well..i wanna keep this post REAL short, so anyway...

3 more days and i'm OUTTA here!!!

Haha 3 more days in camp (i.e. tuesday, wednesday and thursday) and i'll be using my 5 days of leave to skillfully stay out of camp from friday all the way until the 2nd of january! Wow!! Thank God for leaveleaveleave mwahahaha...

So to put it simply, i'm free from the 22nd of dec to the 2nd of jan...i've got an all-december-birthday-people party with "that-usual-group" on the 23rd, a family Christmas party on christmas EVE, a.k.a. 24th, and a lunch-mahjong-dinner appointment with dory&friends on the 27th. And finally i'll probably be busy celebrating my birthday with..probably family on the 31st of december. (aww...like when will i EVER go to some new year's eve party huh..)

So the rest of it is still free! Anyone thinking of an outing on the OTHER days please tell me about it! Haha!

Well, that's about all! Oh one more thing though...if you know a private manual driving instructor who speaks english decently and is based somewhere eastwards, can you please pass me his contact number? Thanks lots! :)

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i Am BaCk!!

I AM BACK!!! I'MBACKI'MBACKI'MBACK!!! Although that was yesterday, so i suppose it's not so surprising anymore. =| (actually, it's been 4 days...just that i haven't had enough time to finish this at one shot, so i've been adding little bits day after day. So if this entry seems jerky and the paragraphs don't seem to link too well..i apologise!!) Ahh whatever. It's nice to be home!! There're lot's of things that i've missed when i was over in australia, including the internet, THE computer (not any of those crappy army ones i had to work with!) ...and the internet. Lol but really! There's also mahjong, my family and friends, my home in general, and every introvert's greatest treasure...privacy.

Well anyway, some people have asked me how things were in australia. I can't tell much..you know, how it's all classified and stuff..haha but i don't suppose anyone wants to hear mission details anyway..like is anyone even truly interested? Aside from that..what i can say is that the experience truly sucked. The usual stuff lah...no baths for a few days each time, 9 days or so spent out in the field with little sleep, lots of stress, lots of sweat, poor quality water and LOTS of dust.

When i had heard that we were going to be living in like semi-desert conditions, i had thought "Woah, lots of sand and sun...like a beach or something.." but it turns out that it wasn't really about sand. It was about dust. Crushed-up sand so fine that it blows on the wind at the slightest disturbance...and gets into your hair, your clothes, your lungs...sitting on the tonner (an army vehicle with, yes, no air-conditioning or seatbelts) was a lung-choking experience..worse than having a chain-smoking family, and when you got off, your hair would be grey with the dust and it was quite...style-able actually..like having natural clay/wax on your hair. Erps. Later on i managed to reduce the ageing of my lungs by using this black piece of elastic cloth which could be worn over my head like...a mitten or a condom or something..people said that it made me look like a prisoner going to hang.

Anyway..work-wise, it was bloody stressful. Not providing any other details, except that i was irritable and worked with even more irritable people. I was particularly pissed off with a certain someone..i don't want to name names but let's just say i've seen guys like him before. Boys and girls, let me take this opportunity to talk about this particular group of people...


Due to a lack of an appropriate word, or rather a lack of vocabulary skill on my part, i shall call these people elitists. And they're really everywhere, in schools, in my signal company...

These guys fit in pretty well in society..they're usually quite talented people, and it's usually very hard to spot an elitist unless you've a sharp eye (or ear)...or if you're a loser. They usually have some kinda air of arrogance about them, but for the most part people would think of them as pretty cool dudes. Elitists like hanging out with, well...the elite. They make good friends with sportsmen, army officers, etc...

What i hate about these people is that they judge others solely by talent, "coolness" and ability, and perhaps how much they contribute to projects and work that THEY themselves think are important. Which really irks me. You can be a total backstabbing bastard, but if you can hold yourself up confidently (read: "cool") or if you're good in, say, basketball, you'd get their "respect".

And by getting their respect, the elitist will be OK with you no matter how much of a bully you are...oh wait, they're the type who "beats up the class loser" as well. Can't remember how many mean things this guy said to the "loser" of our company...and he acted like that poor sod deserved it! Because he's untalented? Because he's blur? He's gonna get success tho..i just know it..sad..

Anyway...do any of you know people like these AND cannot stand them?? If yes then do share your story with me! Lol.


Well, back to my aussie trip...after the exercise, the planning team somehow contrived to make the whole lot of us stay back in base camp doing NOTHING...so life kinda sucked. There were a lot of things happening though...like when our company's little kid zhihong (though he's like 2yrs OLDER than me) got completely incapacitated after just 3 cans of beer, and we had to bathe him and carry him back to the tentage (oh..the bathing system at the base camp, btw, involves filly a pail with water and pouring it into some canvas bag with a shower head at the bottom for the water to "sprinkle" out. Cool huh).

The rest & recreation period was way too short too. Went to an aborigine museum for an hour, went to a mall for 3hours, then it was motel time at Sundowner Motor Inn, followed by dinner at some college, and then it was time to experience the australian night-life!!

...Except that instead of REALLY experiencing it, some of us just bought wine and went back to the motel to drink and watch TV. Meanwhile, some of our company people paid A$12 to go to the stripclub...and our company blur kid zhihong paid an additional A$20 to get a private strip show..apparently this really hot chick showed him her..well..dripping snatch..:| And gave him some face-to-boob action on the side...0_o Later when he came back he kept giving me the thumbs-up sign and telling me how good the experience was, and i kept telling him to buzz off! Wah..experience of a lifetime sia! I don't need to pay that extra 20, but just for the experience of BEING in a stripclub, which i might add you can't get in s'pore...

I sincerely hope a day would come that i won't have any tinge of regret for not stepping off that bus...LOL! The movies that were on TV didn't help too..American Pie 2 and Eurotrip..they just kept putting messages in my head like "wow what a cool party life hohoho". Erps.

Soon after that it was the plane trip back home! Via AIR NEW ZEALAND again..and this time the entertainment system resulted in a disappointing experience. Like i had 2 of my movies stopping halfway and stuttering and jamming all over..eventually i only watched "Trust the Man" like halfway, and i had to spend 15 minutes of retrying and fast forwarding just to catch the last 2minutes of You, Me and Dupree. Bummer..what a buzzkill.

And that wasn't the end! There was still the 2hrs spent queuing up on a full bladder at the Duty Free Shop. I was trying to buy Grand Marnier liquor, a set of Classic Tiger Beer, and a vintage 1997 Margaux red for my dad's birthday (which, i might add, i dreamt i finished drinking last night 0_o), and i think 2 whole planes' worth of passengers were queuing up to buy alcohol..my my. I also shall not name who i lent money to, but one advice for the unwary........

...please don't forget your ATM pin number. It's VERY important. Erps. =|

Anyway it's been great back at camp!! With nothing to do but to play basketball, watch Love Hina, and sleep! (I heard next year's gonna be tough tho..haiz) Last night had fun playing bowling as well and scoring spare after spare with just a bit of self-psycho-ing (it really works!)..and i've bought Neverwinter Nights 2 as well! Freaking sian tho..like the hack-and-slash's the same as ever, and where's the radial menu of NWN1?? Why does the right-click serve so little purpose now?? If you don't even give me an attack button, how can i attack innocents?? Erps. Or, say, perform pre-emptive strikes on those enemies who like to talk a bit before turning officially hostile?? Bleah.

Well, i'm really looking forward to the weekend after my guard duty is over!! Anyway...

.....i'd better not hog the public internet computer for too long. :D

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