ARGH. GODDAMMIT. I just can't escape his shadow.
I'm being stupid. Exam pressures have denied me the distractions i needed to not think about it. I just caught myself snooping around online. I believe this is called self-destruction. Suicide.
The grenade is on the floor, at my feet. Pin released, ready to kill. I need a helmet, to cover the grenade before it explodes. So that the shock and pain can reverberate in my heart and harm no one else.