Well, don't worry, readers, for i'm still alive and kicking. It's not as if i'm overloaded with work either; it's just that, i'm overloaded with OPTIONAL work right now. And there's lots of studying to do. Which is essentially optional.
So it's not as if i've been working 24/7 and hence do not have the time to blog. Rather, i've been spending time procrastinating and fooling around before deadlines force me to get into action.
Procrastination can be a powerful thing. Take my primary school contact list, for example. I had promised to collate and send everyone a contact list, which i could have easily done in half an hour. That was in early August. Halfway through collating, i got stumped at piece of bad handwriting by one of my former classmates, and couldn't interpret a detail that he gave. I didn't want to proceed until i had gotten it all sorted out, but i detested having to call him up to ask him about what he had written.
Problems with my introverted-ness i suppose. Then, i was also still considering whether to make the contact list complete by finding out the details of those who hadn't gone to my place and filled in the handwritten contact list.
So well, in the end, i managed to get the whole task sorted out, and i sent out the email. TODAY. 3 months later.
Woots. Well, i discovered awhile ago that this bad habit is probably due my perfectionism. I want everything that i do to be perfect. I want to do the perfect assignment, the perfect contact list. I want to multi-task and spend my time perfectly. I want to sleep enough before my tests, so that i can have the perfect preparation. I want the perfect relationship. I want to buy the perfect gift on birthdays. I want to absorb all the details in any show that i watch or any books that i read to perfection.
Which all goes against me, because i end up putting extreme amounts of pressure on myself as a result. And i can't handle the pressure. I end up putting tasks off and procrastinating until time becomes my greatest obstacle to getting ANYTHING done at all.
I end up reading up so much for assignments that i don't even get the assignment done early, and go to school with an incomplete assignment and not much sleep at all. I multi-task so much that i end up wasting time instead of saving it. I end up putting so much pressure on myself to sleep early that i end up suffering from insomnia. I get depressed over itty bitty imperfections. I take far too long to decide on birthday gifts and to buy them. I end up taking forever to read novels because i read every word out loud, and i rewind while watching videos just so i can get a "full experience".
Well, i'm not sure if it's because of my upbringing or whatever, but this has got to stop, and change has got to start with me. I'll be trying my best to make getting things done on time a priority over perfection. Starting today. With that long overdue contact list.
And with this long overdue blog entry too.
