Sigh. Yep, i failed...again.
This time i struck a kerb while i was exiting the parking lot for direction-change parking, and then i knocked a pole down while i was getting out of the parallel parking lot. Both incidents gave me 14 points EACH, 10 points for the incident itself, and 4 points for failing to stop and reverse before trying again (a.k.a. failure to confirm safety)...which is quite perturbing actually. How, then, would you be able to strike a kerb if you had anticipated and stopped beforehand? Perhaps they should just say that striking a kerb is already 14 points and leave it at that?
In any case, 28 points is, of course, a failure. Which meant that i failed 5 minutes into my test. A real waste, considering that i almost never struck a kerb or pole during practice...i certainly didn't during my first test. It's an even bigger waste, if you consider that i didn't get any points at all while i was outside the circuit; my tester said that my judgement, speed and safety while on the straight road and at traffic junctions were very good.
Anyway, i was extremely nervous during the test, even more so than during the first one, surprisingly. I think it's because the first test doesn't have much pressure; if you fail the first time, just try again. But on the second test, if you fail, it is SUPER MALU (translation: embarrassing). So in the end, the pressure i put on myself became too much for me to take and my driving skills took a huge dive.
Take my mum for example. She failed, like two of three times before she passed, and even now, she's like the laughing stock of the family (the Low family...meaning my extended family) at times for failing "a lot". I regard her as one of the better - if not the best - drivers in the family, but she'd always have this black mark on her because everyone else passed on the first or second try.
All of my friends who've passed have done it on the first or second try, so my second failure means that i'd never be regarded as a good driver, or rather a BETTER driver, by those people...or at least i'd never be regarded as a natural driver. And do i care about what other people think? Of course i do. Lol.
So anyway, i actually felt much better when the test was over and the tester had failed me...i mean, hey, he actually praised me quite a bit; i was criticised a lot for my lack of safety and judgement during my first test, so it's a huge improvement there.
However, while taking the bus on the way home, i began to get this sinking feeling in my heart...a kinda depressed feeling. I felt like a loser going home, like a young tribesman going back to his village without having caught anything during his hunt.
If i had a bit less maturity and a bit more pride, i would've stayed away from home like the young tribesman probably would; never returning until he had caught his prey. Of course, realistically, the retest has a waiting time of more than two months at least, and i can't stay away from home for THAT long 0_o. Still, i can't say that the thought didn't come to my mind, if only for a moment before i dismissed it outright.
Anyway, i'm blogging this to pour out all my "depression" so that i can feel a bit better...blogging in that sense is kinda like dreaming in its function, isn't it? Dreams may not necessarily be about the events you had that day, but they may show you something which causes you to release similar emotions in an attempt to release your anxieties.
After this, i shall busy myself with Final Fantasy XII as i prepare myself for my retest! It's on 12th December, a.k.a.
someone's birthday if i remember correctly. No other way around it; the only way i can redeem myself from shame is to aim for a perfect ZERO! Wish me luck!
