Wow i was fooling around in the Signal office earlier tonight when i saw this book lying around that someone had brought into camp: "Dealing with Difficult People" by Dr Rick Brinkman and Dr Rick Kirschner..started reading it 'cos it seemed quite interesting..tells you how to deal with problem cases like "tanks" - i.e. dudes with short tempers and abrasive natures who insist on shouting their point across before listening to anything from you - as well as "snipers", people who bitch behind your back and say sarcastic things about you even while talking to you in an attempt to embarrass you (or even attract your attention).
There're others types of difficult people too, like "yes" men, "maybe" men, "no" men, etc, etc..a person can have attributes of different types of difficult people, however, and it MUST be noted that not EVERYONE is a difficult person. The book mostly talks in a business and office setting but i'd recommend it for anyone who's just had difficult people in their lives or who just wants to feel clever. Erps.
I've found out certain things too lol. Like, according to this book, i'm living with a walking talking "Know It All"!! Haha, that's someone who has built up his confidence in his knowledge and opinions sky high because he really DOES know a lot and has learnt from impressive sources, but as a result doesn't ever listen to 2nd opinions and treats differing viewpoints as challenges to his authority. He'll be extremely doubtful of your opinion and information, and harps on things like having a less reliable source than his own and minor flaws in your presentation of your idea to completely discredit the WHOLE of what you had said.
Apparently one way to deal with him is to go with the flow and make him feel like he's actually the one lecturing you or teaching you new things, not the other way around...and some other things that i don't have the space for lol. So i haven't actually been dealing with that person properly haiz...sometimes i try to be passive and i DO try to absorb that person's knowledge, but i've also tried to go against that person head on pretty often, and that often leaves me much more frustrated in the end.
Then there's another person i know, the "THINKS He Knows It All", the one who tries to gain acceptance and attention by pretending (to others and to himself) to be knowledgeable, etc. You can tell a "Thinks He Knows It All" by his language 'cos he tends to use general terms like "always", "confirm" (in a singlish slang style) and "should be"...
LOL. I think some people out there know who i'm talking about already.
And judging by what the book said, i've also dealt with this guy incorrectly. The book advises you to resist the temptation to put the guy down, and instead be nice and accomodating; point out the mistakes in his
grand logic (but not harshly) by going slow and making him "see the light" on his own, and then giving him a way out by suggesting a "compromise" that still doesn't make him out to be totally wrong.
That's something i hadn't done enough...towards the end of my JC life i just didn't have the patience to give him face anymore. That supposedly worsens his behaviour actually...Ahwell, i can't go back and change how i dealt with him anymore.
Anyway, i like to have a policy of never fully trusting everything that's said in textbooks or publications or that's said by my teachers/lecturers because it's pretty easy to turn into a "Know It All" who dishes out advice which MIGHT be wrong in the end..it's something along the lines of someone ten years ago who encourages everyone around him that trans-fat filled margarine and a high carbo diet is the way to go.
So when i tell people things like what i did above, i like to emphasise that it's not a RULE, just what is suggested in the book or just what i heard this person say. AND i put in terms like "supposedly", and "according to so-and-so.."
Of course, it's not to save YOUR ass, but MINE in case my advice turns out to be wrong. I'd hate for anyone to come after me. And it's also an ego problem...my sucky-fragile ego will probably shatter if i started to develop a bad-rep of dishing out unreliable information. 0_o
BUT STILL, i'd like to say again that i think this book is really good 'cos it DOES kinda coincide with what i've learnt over the years..and there was plenty of "oh yah hor...that's kinda true" exclamations while i was reading the book. I mean, after writing all that stuff on the blog and perhaps "plagiarising" advice off their book, i've GOT to at least help them advertise the book a little bit haha. ..Then again, i'd suggest that you don't buy it..it's quite a new book (published last year) but they've got quite a few copies in libraries already..ACCORDING to my friend who had check the internet.
Anyway, i think i used to be a "Thinks He Knows It All" but eventually became a "yes"/"maybe" person with a bit of "sniper" qualities haha. I'll try to be less difficult in the future, alright?
