I was taking my second or third break after thirty or so minutes of reading One L when i realised that i was really in need of more reading practice.
It's been, what, two years since i did any serious studying? And after such a long layoff because of national service, i think my mind has dulled and my concentration span has been snapped short.
When i was in secondary school, i was a crazy reader. I was capable of reading novels from 8pm to 7 in the morning, going to sleep when the sun was already rising in the sky. I'd borrow heaps of books from the library in RI and read them at home, in the toilet, during recess and even in class itself (not a good habit at all, i must say).
When i was dead bored, i'd pick up a novel that i had read before, and i'd read the whole thing again in one shot, without taking any breaks even though the story was already familiar to me.
In JC, i was still buzzing over Wheel of Time novels for hours at a time, but now, somehow, that love and interest for books has left me. Gone are the times when i'd get so engrossed in a book that i'd forget what time it is.
Take my current read, for example. One L by Scott Turow is essentially a journal of the author's life during his first year at Harvard Law School, and it has been an entertaining and enlightening read, so far. But, somehow, i still lose interest in it every now and then. I'd go online after a few minutes, and basically take break after break until i end up only reading a few pages each day.
My previous book was a novel by Neil Gaiman - Neverwhere. It's a fantastic book; there are so many witty lines and every sentence is beautifully constructed. However, i was only able to read that book in drips and drabs. I've yet to even finish it.
When i think about it, it's not even just books. I'm no longer able to watch more than two episodes of anime in a row now. It's been like this for at least two months. No matter how good a show is, i just seem to take my time watching it, which makes it all the more difficult to get into the mood.
In essence, i've lost the ability to get engrossed in anything. It's been a VERY long time since i was able to eat a quick dinner, looking forward to a fun night afterwards playing a particular game, watching a particular show, or reading a particular book. I haven't been able to concentrate on any one thing for more than half an hour at a time. It's a worrying situation, because i can't even keep my focus well, and this is FUN stuff we're talking about.
Law school starts next year. I wonder how i'm going to focus on my professors' words during lessons. Or how i'd be able to read through long cases while doing assignments. I've tried studying a bit before law school starts, reading a few cases and briefs here and there, but like my novels, i've been going very slowly, at most just reading a couple of pages at a time.
Maybe it's because i'm watching the clock too much these days, after developing habits to "save precious book-out time" in the army. Maybe i'm just too conscious of time now to get engrossed in any activity.
But whatever it is, i think it's high time that i regained my love for reading. I'm not too sure how i'd go about it for now, though, besides more "reading practice"; more exposure to books in the hopes that i'd get used to reading again and get my focus back.
There was a time when i was young; when i loved to read, and nothing could ever distract me when i was doing the things i loved. I'd like to recapture the good parts of it that i've lost. And it doesn't matter what i'm reading, as long as it's words written on paper.
