Or is it sold? 'Cos when you're buying something, you're paying money, and not getting paid, right? Or could i assign "guard duty" a negative value on its price-tag? Or should guard duty be referred to more as a "part-time" job and less of a product?
Anyway, i'm not exactly doing tomorrow's saturday guard duty for the money, because money isn't exactly a concern at the moment...in fact i've always thought that i'd be the one PAYING other people to do guard duty for me, given my huge dislike for the time-wasting, sleep-depriving activity.
But this time, my friend in camp had some church camp thing where he's on the committee, and he only learnt that he was doing this saturday's guard duty today. He had asked everyone else in the company and was getting kinda desperate, so when he asked me to do it for him in exchange for cash, i agreed (we can't swap guard duties because his rank isn't high enough for him to do my normal guard commander duties).
I used to think that i wouldn't even do an extra guard duty even if you gave me 200 bucks, so in a way i suppose i've done someone a favour, and my friend certainly sees it that way.
But the truth is, i ended up agreeing to do his duty because i simply couldn't think of an excuse, at that time, to say no.
Was i just being nice? Or was i just stupid? Was i scared of losing his friendship? Or is it just because i'm still trying to please everyone?
My actions this afternoon (in agreeing to do the guard duty) remind me of that episode in "Welcome to the N.H.K.", where the main character is suddenly dragged into a mass suicide event but can't seem to get out of it...simply because he is too afraid to tell the others off and save himself. He keeps playing along, trying to please the rest, and he even gets into the "suicide mood" along with the others, eventually.
Am i the same? Am i that
weak? The thing is, if i had lied on the spot and said that "Err...my family's booked seats to see Shrek 3 tomorrow night", i probably would't have been doing tomorrow's guard duty and probably wouldn't have minded, either. But instead, 10 seconds passed and i couldn't think of an excuse that wouldn't have seemed like i was lying through my teeth...and now here i am, preparing for my second saturday guard duty in 3 weeks.
Lol, i truly am a horrible person, aren't i.
