I'm floating on the Lifestream...

Stressed out.

2012-02-01T02:21:00.004+08:00

I'm so stressed out right now. I've got a Korean test, a Biomedical Law submission, and a Public Administration meeting all on Thursday. And i'm performing in a musical on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We're currently having one rehearsal a day among the other miscellaneous duties i have, like photo and video shoots (since i'm one of the main cast) and manning the ticket booth. So the musical takes up a few hours of my time each day. My latest rehearsal ended about an hour ago, after 1am. I have to wake up in 5 hours to go for a class with 30% class participation and I haven't read any of the issued readings. I'm going to have to do the same thing again on Friday. Even if i didn't need regular sleep to perform properly for my musical, and even if i didn't bother so much with Biomedical Law, i still won't have enough time to prepare for my Korean test.

On top of that, i'm playing a character that i detest in a story that i quite dislike, i have to solve my girlfriend's anger issues and i wasn't given season parking this semester, even though i'm surely among the people who really need it more. I have to spend a bonus 30 minutes a day walking up and down Botanic Gardens to my car that's parked quite far away, because there is no way i'm going to call a cab or pay $10-20 in parking fees when my rehearsals/lessons end. Earlier on, all the lights in the Botanic Gardens were switched off and i had to maneuver in pitch darkness after seeing that horror reel that Bing showed me.

These are all small-medium problems, but they really do build up in the worst ways. And of course as a typical "good" Singaporean youth i can't just release all this pressure by abandoning all my responsibilities. I'm mentally exhausted right now and i really should be sleeping. If i'm very irritable for the next few days, you can probably guess why. Unlike Mr Nathan Pok, i know how long i can keep this up, and unfortunately it's only going to be for a few more days.

Autumn update (Singapore has no seasons but who cares)

2011-10-21T00:49:00.004+08:00

You know, i just delayed my sleep time by two hours because i wanted to (1) read another Biotechnology article before sleeping and (2) floss my teeth, but both activities were just too daunting and i'm just feeling so SIAN. So i just wander around online and didn't do much that was productive. 0.o This procrastination is really moronic. I'm such an imbecile.

Anyway, i can't believe that my last blog post was before the start of this school semester. Whoops. How did that happen. Well, a lot has gone on since school started. I had fun in Korea, i've got a job (or a training contract to be more exact) at a smaller-medium firm with a decent pay and a very nice atmosphere despite missing the train that the other NUS law students got on (by being overseas when everyone else was going for interviews...), i now know some basic Korean, and i've been doing IP-related modules to the point that i'm living and breathing IP...although that didn't stop me from getting a bad grade for my IP Law mid-semester test. Goddamn trademarks!

At least my Entertainment Law is faring better. I'm quite screwed for Biotech though...i read and read and i don't think i'm going anywhere. I think i'm never going to take another research paper again. Then again there's only one semester of law school left after this.

Can't wait for this semester to be over so i can start playing SKYRIM!!! And of course preparing for Law IV and being able to go out (with Coco, family, friends, etc) and have fun again (as much as i can fit a social life around Skyrim HAHA) and sleeping more than the 5hrs a day i'm averaging now (WEEKENDS INCLUDED). I can also continue watching Initial D (great anime) and take a look at Giant Killing (one of the few decent sports anime left for me to watch).

Maybe i'll get back into the mood to do some exercise too. It's amazing that i can still see my six pack in the mirror (under very favourable lighting conditions of course). Gaah stressed. Life will be so much better with the Biotech research paper out of the way.

2011-09-14T21:42:00.002+08:00

Graphic card companies should seriously sponsor game companies like Bethesda for giving them business. I wouldn't even think twice about upgrading my desktop computer if Skyrim wasn't just a little too much to handle for my laptop.

The Witcher 2 is fantastic.

2011-06-11T02:39:00.004+08:00

Wow. The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings has been an excellent game so far. The type where you start shifting from butt-cheek to butt-cheek or shake your legs violently because you've really needed to go to the toilet for a piss since about an hour ago but you're too engrossed and excited to leave your seat. And did i mention that, short cut-scenes apart, you can pause the game anytime you like?

Now THIS is immersion. Best thing is, Geralt of Rivia is clearly not ME - he's a white haired (rather) old dude with a gruff voice and ugly scars all over his face and body. And yet i feel like i'm the world he's in and doing the things he's doing!

Hah! Take that Bioware and (especially) EA! That's how you do proper story-based computer RPG with immersion and with a sense of exploration DESPITE also being a closed-world game (err as opposed to open-world sandboxes like the Elder Scrolls, Gothic, and Risen). Stop being lazy/rushed and create bigger, more detailed environments so that we wouldn't feel so hemmed in by the game's boundaries...and don't dumb down the inventory system like what you just did with Dragon Age 2! Do away with those friendship meters and conversation hints (symbols for peaceful/aggressive statements, etc)...actually, just copy The Witcher series shamelessly. Well, except for their inventory organisation and menu system. It's giving me a headache with its messiness and cumbersomeness!

Oh, and to make this clear: no, i'm not playing the game for the famed sex scenes...well at least not completely...i mean, hardly at all! Case in point: i'm enjoying this game greatly but i haven't even seen a sex scene yet! That bit in the opening scenes doesn't count...

Anyway, it's time to go back to the game. Or was it time to shower and sleep. Hmm...i can't remember...

Small updates about me.

2011-06-09T02:06:00.022+08:00

I haven't posted in a long time. Hmm.

Anyway my grades this semester have been...average. Much better than for my first 3 semesters, but really not good enough to get that 2nd upper. So ohwell. Of course i'll still try my best for the remaining two semesters, but i'll be honest and say that 2nd upper is beyond me. I'd need all As i think - easier said than done, and trust me, it is NOT easy to say it. I've given up. My focus is just to add some gloss to my relatively dull resume.

Putting that aside...other updates!

Holiday has started. Yay. But nearly one and a half months of it have already gone by before i realised it. Boo hoo.

Our family bought 3 bicycles over the past 2 weeks. So we've been going to ECP to cycle around a bit, and now i can cycle to nearby places, like the Siglap area and to Bedok South market for my Hill Street char kway teow. Swell. Well...except my mother forbids anyone in the family from cycling on the roads without a helmet, and i'd also be the first to admit that i'm not a very stable cyclist - i can't seem to keep the bike going perfectly straight on a regular basis, and i'm very unstable at low speeds, so i'm kinda scared that my bike would bump the kerb and then swing out onto the car lanes and something nasty happens...but of course that only applies when there IS traffic. After midnight is another matter entirely. One thing's for sure...no more going to bike rental shops along East Coast Park!

Last weekend, we also had a new addition to our kitchen...a gas-operated grill! So now we can make flame-grilled steaks, lamb chops, burgers and chicken (we may need a separate cast-iron for our chicken though...). Yummy. We've already used it to make steaks twice. Tastes great...credit and thanks goes to my cousin-in-law Joon Woon for his recommendation to get a gas grill in the first place, helping us to buy the grill and fly it from the USA to Singapore, and for his simple salt+pepper+olive oil recipe.

If any of my readers are err still around and wish to have a steak party at my house, go ahead and contact me for arrangements to use the grill! Of course, jio me to the party as well lah (that's the whole point, right...) and help me to buy the steak and maybe bring some olive oil, horseradish, and french fries/sweet potatoes/salad. I can handle the salt+pepper and the setting up (and cooking). FYI, for S$11-12 per steak, you can get steak that'll cost you anywhere from S$30-60 at a restaurant. And seriously, mine can taste just as good (just look at how Black Angus overcooks its steaks every single time...gosh...) If you can get steaks that are at least an inch thick, that'll be the best.

Next up, there has been a "wild" animal roaming our driveway this past week. It is...a Tokay Gecko! A pretty huge lizard (this one is longer than my shoulder width) that used to be common and native to Singapore, but is now a very rare sight (go check it up on wiki or something). I think it might have been brought to Singapore by our Malaysian neighbours and set loose here. It's got orange/brown spots all over...and it's supposed to be very expensive!

We'd been hearing its mating calls for a few nights - its cries are loud enough that my mother can hear it pretty well despite being separated from it by at least two closed doors and two layers of glass (one of which is supposed to be "sound-proof"). Then we managed to catch sight of it a few days later. My mother once caught it sleeping in one of the cupboards in our driveway, and even took a few photographs of it. I saw the photographs, thought the gecko was quite large, and then went to the cupboard to take an actual look myself...and boy was it big. Much bigger than i had thought. Seeing it in person was really one heck of an experience.

A little scary too; after staring at the gecko for a while, i gingerly closed the cupboard to let it continue sleeping uninterrupted. The same way i might gingerly step away from a swimming pool after discovering a small crocodile swimming in it. I'm not saying that the gecko is very dangerous however. Tokay geckos can be very territorial, and when they bite you, it is hard to get them off (and there can be issues with infection too). But this gecko has been very tame so far; it hasn't caused us any problems and there hasn't been any incidents thus far - all very quiet......so to speak.

I don't think my parents have decided what to do with the gecko. What I think we should do, is to call the zoo or the AVA or whatever ASAP to take it in, once we make sure that our neighbours have either no claim over it or do not want to claim it. I'm not so sure about the legality of selling such an animal (both the list of animals restricted from being sold as pets and the list of animals allowed to be sold as pets do not mention the tokay gecko, and both lists are not exhaustive either). Also, taking care of tokay geckos can be a huge hassle (just check it up online). But then, for the gecko's sake, i also don't want to just leave it to wander around for too long; i don't think our driveway is a particularly bountiful place, with enough arthropods to feed our "little" reptilian friend over the longer term.

Next, i've started going for singing lessons! The real kind of singing lessons, not the kind that i went for during army which i stopped after 3-4 lessons when i figured out that it was more like karaoke lessons than anything else. After going for these singing lessons, i realised that i SUCKED. Seriously. I've been getting so much praise from my family members (especially) that i thought i had attained some success and was on the right track. But actually, i've been singing with the wrong technique, squeezing too much and singing with a high-larynx mixed voice that may sound quite good, but also prevented further development and would only give me problems later on. My actual mixed voice was not really developing.

So now, i'm basically starting over from scratch and building up my voice the long and hard way. For $150 per hour of singing lessons. OUCH. Although i'm more hung up over the fact that i've wasted so much of my life singing wrongly. I should have gone for these lessons a long time ago. Lesson learnt: do not trust everything you see (and hear) on the internet. And paying so much money for singing lessons can actually be worth it (and millions of people all around the world DO pay thousands for singing lessons), because all the computer singing programs and guidebooks in the world cannot beat one-to-one singing lessons with a proper instructor. Knowing what exercises can be done to improve the voice is not the same as knowing what exercises you need for YOUR voice at any one time, as well as HOW to do the exercises and WHETHER you're even doing the exercises correctly.

If you really want to improve your voice, you really need an expert to listen to your voice and make a custom set of exercises. My instructor, by the way, is a level 3 Speech Level Singing (SLS) certified instructor. He is the highest level SLS-certified vocal instructor in Singapore. He is very, very, very good. But also (to me) very, very, expensive. And he lives in Toa Payoh. Damn.

By the way, speaking of singing...is Law IV still on? Our producers (Michael and Anthony i believe) seem to have gone on vacation or hibernation or whatever and have totally forgotten about Law IV. I hope the script-writers have started to liaise with the prop-makers, or they'll be in for squeaky-bum-time later on. Ohwell.

Finally, on to games...I've FINALLY bought my PS3, and i've finished playing Final Fantasy XIII. An okay game - better that i had expected because of its great graphics, great fighting system, and great (albeit short) story-line with lots of plot twists, but still not that good, partly because the game is too scripted with only one chapter of fun-filled exploration.

Also, some of the conversation was REALLY cheesy. Like they kept having scenes where the main characters would gather for motivational group-talk, and the camera would pan to each one of them just to show them saying cheesy one-liners or just nodding at another person's cheesy one-liners. Most of the other cut-scenes were also way too emo and melodramatic. As one game reviewer said, you wouldn't be able to tolerate the conversation unless you've watched plenty of anime before that. Comparing it to previous Final Fantasy games that i've played (besides Tactics and Dirge of Cerberus which i think are in different genres, and X-2 which i hardly played), i'd rate it above 4, 9, 12, and Crisis Core, but below 6, 7, 8, and 10.

I don't just have FFXIII of course - i've got Super Street Fighter IV, Marvel v Capcom 3, Killzone 3, and Eternal Sonata. I wanted to get Red Dead Redemption, but somehow i just don't feel like playing it anymore.

Just like how i didn't feel like playing Mass Effect 2 anymore despite getting it for free with Dragon Age 2 and being able to play it NOW just by going to my desktop and double-clicking an icon. Dragon Age 2 by the way was a HUGE disappointment - crappy female romance choices, very little exploration, a dumbed-down item system with not much immersion, repeated environments, badly implemented friendly-fire...the list goes on. I also hated the conversation wheel system (where instead of picking whole lines for your character to say, you pick funny/serious/aggressive/etc options with a rather inaccurate short summary of what you are going to say), and i don't think it necessarily helps for my character to have a voice. Just like in Mass Effect, i didn't feel like the character was ME - Shepard and Hawke were just some random old dudes whom i just didn't care for.

Not that everything was worse than in the first Dragon Age (Origins). The companion system has improved and has been made much more realistic with more immersion - I've always thought that the base camp system that's been around since Neverwinter Nights was a HORRIBLE implementation. They've also kinda done away with the predictable "go to A, B, and C to complete the main quests there and then get ready for the final scene" that was heavily used in Neverwinter Nights and still used in Dragon Age Origins. The best part of Origins for me was from the start up till Lothering, when i felt like an inexperienced lad stumbling into a wide, wide world, and just about to begin a long, exciting adventure with the beautiful and mysterious Morrigan and the funny and dependable Alistair. And then everything went downhill when the main quest locations were just spoon-fed before me like that.

Well, at least there's a lot of gaming to look forward to...There's Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the December holidays and Final Fantasy Versus XIII for next year. And i'm gonna start playing The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings soon! Except it's been delayed in Singapore; i haven't found a vendor that stocked a copy and i don't want to give any website my credit card number so easily. I'm starting to get impatient...

HMMM you know, i actually wanted to make a list of my favourite songs of all time in THIS post. To, you know, have something that i can look back to when i'm old and graying. But seeing as how i've spent so much time on updates alone, i think i'll leave this list for next time. Hopefully by this week or the next!

2011-04-23T16:03:00.004+08:00

There's this dull ache at the back of my head and neck, and a loss of appetite coupled with a dull, cold sensation at the pit of my stomach which makes me feel like throwing up.

I guess...this is called stress, huh. Urgh, if only exams were like how they were back in JC or secondary school.

Stop asking me!

2011-04-17T23:34:00.003+08:00

Arrgh how many times am i going to be asked about the birthday??? Do these people realise that even though i'm a bit worried about not having enough last-minute time to prepare for the exam, i can't possibly say no because i wanna be a good family member? And of course i'm just going to get stick if i say no - someone's going to get very pissed if i spoil the celebrations and try to argue with me or stab me in the back or whatever. Yes, i know how badly you want it; i still remember you trying to put down any resistance by using your job commitment to belittle my exams...

So whether it is yes or no, NOTHING i say is going to change things; just because i say that i'm okay with it, it doesn't mean that i'm not going to suffer at all as a consequence and that everything's gonna be alright. Somebody seems to think that i'm one of those kinds of people that, if i'm affected negatively by anything, i'd voice it out and try protect myself regardless of the needs and wishes of others. Well, i'm NOT that selfish, and i'm not like you, okay??? So PLEASE stop taking me to one corner and asking me, or interrupting my studies by going into my room and poking me on the shoulder and asking the same damn question. So irritating...

Let's just have a good birthday...in all seriousness, it IS more important than my crappy-ass exams, which i don't really care for anymore despite the fact that i'm tearing my hair out over it.

Okay, so it turns out i woke up after all.

2010-11-27T10:37:00.004+08:00

I don't understand how come i woke up 3 hours later and then couldn't go back to sleep even after an hour of trying. It's not like i'm awake or anything; when i try to study, i feel this faint headache and i just can't concentrate.

Argh. After the exams are over, i'm going to have to start exercising again. My six-pack is faintly visible in the mirror when i stand up and flex just a little bit, but they go missing completely when i sit down. Lol. It's no wonder, when all i do is sit at my laptop and sleep...even with my shrinking and irregular diet (i've been losing appetite of late), i don't seem to lose weight; instead, my body is having a blast as it slowly converts all my hard-earned muscles into fat...

Hey, but give me credit for not turning to smoking and binge-drinking yet. I'm sufficiently risk-averse. :)

Unfortunately, going for a run is not an option unless it's at night, because i don't want to lose my fairer complexion. Ahahaha i'm so vain now. 300 reps a day with a skipping rope, and 100 reps of push ups and crunches a day - all in 2 sets in the morning and late afternoon...think that's sufficient?

Ack...

2010-11-27T04:03:00.004+08:00

Personal Property Law is going to be the death of me. Argh. The course isn't THAT difficult, but for the first time, i'm dealing with a substantive 8 credit open-book exam module without any muggers...and without Coco's help too. Which means that my lousy note-taking skills are coming back to haunt me.

Since i have no muggers and stuff to help me, i must depend on the Professor to be organised and not jump from point to point. But he jumps about a lot. And he must give me a clear impression on what is important for us to know and what isn't. He doesn't...in fact he goes off on so many flights of fancy and pointless side-points that i wonder if he's in it to teach us or to just show off. His examples help, but there are just too many of them...and i need to internalise the examples and bring only the bare notes into the exam hall but now my notes are voluminous and i really don't know how i'm going to refer to case names and stuff like that when my notes are 25 pages long and not 3 pages long per chapter. I just record everything and i can't help but think that everything is important. Yup, i'm just a perfectionist in a very bad way.

I was planning to organise my notes at the end of each lesson, but then i just got flooded by readings and only gave myself this short period of 4 days to study AND tidy up my notes AND create exam-worthy quick-reference notes. And after two days, i've only done ONE chapter out of seven. Yup, you heard it right...ONE.

And i didn't even tidy up my notes or create those quick-reference notes, all i did was study the material and add in all the things that the Prof missed out on. Actually, now that i think about it, the course IS very difficult - the topic that killed me for two days, on Negotiable Instruments, has so many statutory rules that i can barely remember a third of them. He tells us to just flip through the readings, but THERE IS NO WAY I CAN FLIP THROUGH THE READINGS AND ABSORB ANYTHING. There are only about 75-100 pages per chapter, but i usually have to stare at a sentence for 10 seconds each (and important and complicated sentences take me over a minute) before i process the sentence. Are there people who can rush through readings and still absorb? Well, maybe that's why i just deserve to suck forever as a student and as a lawyer?

And if the professor had his way, i shouldn't even be doing law. He tells us that he "flattens the bell-curve", so that more students get As and even more students get Cs (B-/B is the average). He noted expressly that this is because it'll let us know early on if we're cut out for practice, so that the weaker students can "quit earlier"...after all, "who wants to be a lawyer working in Chinatown, doing small claims, defending petty crime suspects, and having trouble earning money?" All lawyers get jobs after graduating my ass.

I'd actually accept what he says, except that i really don't see how being bad at summarising sentences and organising notes is going to hamper my law career much. When i interned at Wong P and A&G, i did fine at my tasks and got on well with my bosses. I never had to do any summarising and when i had to take notes i was always given time to get them in order. And the notes didn't have to be so damn short because i was working in the corporate department and my notes were FINE. Legible, easy to understand, and most of all THOROUGH.

Even litigators don't use cue cards anyway, when i worked for a Senior Counsel, she read verbatim from a printed page for her submissions...did she need to use summarised notes and get all dramatic? No. I saw myself doing a lot of reasoning and problem solving (mostly practical problems, not legal ones) while interning, however. And using my EQ and being sensitive, polite, and occasionally funny too. And, after all this time at law school, i still like to think that i'm above average at those skills. I DO admit, however, that speed-reading skills are very important.

Closed-book exams are said to be bad because then the exam becomes a memorising exercise. But honestly, open-book is no better. Because in the bell-curve setting, the competition heats up so much that, to do well, you have to summarise and organise like crazy to make your notes easily referable. And to write a high-quality essay in your exam, you have to spot the question and type the whole damn thing out beforehand to have a shot at an A. I'd have trouble doing all that even if i get another week to study.

And although not having note-taking and summarising skills isn't going to hamper my legal career (in my opinion), my GRADES definitely are going to influence where i end up. Oh yeah, and despite impressing a senior partner at A&G enough that she told me via email that i was "good" and "should have no problem getting a pupillage position (at A&G)"...no, i'm not going to get into A&G because i'm not going to graduate with 2nd upper honours. And, unless i have some special connections (which i do not have), i'm not going to get into any of the big firms anyway. My only A so far in law school has been for a mock paper at closed-book Legal Theory (which degraded to a B+ at the actual exam) and i really don't see myself getting the B/B+ average that i need to mount a credible push for 2nd upper honours in this semester or the next.

Well, i'm so dead. Don't ever do this module unless you don't care about how your grades turn out. Or unless you're one of those students whose can spend all day in the library speed-reading and summarising. I'm going to to sleep now; part of me hopes that i don't wake up.

One f*cked up semester

2010-11-21T20:03:00.003+08:00

This has been one disaster-filled semester. Take-home paper tragedies and the torture of wearing braces aside; i'm talking about real, personal disasters here.

First, the issue with my sister. Shan't say too much.

Second, when i finally get over my take-home papers and crawl into the study break, my grandfather passes away. (Oops, i let the cat out of the bag. But i still don't intend to say anymore on this issue).

And now, just 2 days after my grandfather's cremation, my aunt - a very close aunt to our family, i might add - has been admitted to hospital for what is very likely lung cancer. I can't even spare much time to visit her since my exams aren't over yet, and i'm hopelessly behind schedule in my studies thanks to the wake and my usual slowness. This has been such a horrible semester period.

Why oh why did did she come down with such an ailment when she doesn't even smoke or work in the mines or whatever? This is truly horrible. I don't really have a God to pray to, since i believe, with the least of conviction - and unless proven otherwise - that our God is at most just a passive Creator who won't listen to our pleas. But i do sincerely pray to whatever may be out there for my aunt to only be suffering from something less minor than cancer. And if it has to be cancer, please let it only be benign and not malignant, so that she has a chance to live a good, long life.

Call me 끄 래 꼬 리, please.

2010-11-21T13:35:00.006+08:00

Amagad. I never thought it would happen (at least so soon), but i've become thoroughly korean-ified (FYI my girlfriend's half-korean, so well...you know the source of my korean-ification). I can more or less read Hangul, i love kimchi stew (and kimchi of course), and i know almost all of SHINee's melodies from start to end (and i'd probably know the entire songs' lyrics by heart by now if the songs were in English...now i only know vaguely what the general lyrics sound like).

Not only that, i watch quite a lot of korean reality TV, like days' worth. From watching the Hello Baby series, i also know all the members of SHINee and SNSD well enough; i know all their names and can rank them from my most favourite to least favourite member. Furthermore, i know the other K-Pop people enough to identify all the members from 2AM, 2PM, MBLAQ, U-Kiss, KARA, and f(x) and have favourite members from each group (no Super Junior though, unfortunately, and i don't know all the members from those other pop groups by name either, some are only by face).

By the end of this year, i also plan to learn the lyrics to one song from start to end (tentatively either SHINee's Romantic or In My Room...or maybe even Lucifer) so that i can sing it from start to end (duh). I don't think that makes me a Shawol though; i like their music and i watch their TV shows, but i don't stare at the members for hours, neither did i have any JongKey fantasies that were crushed by Jong Hyun's announced relationship with Shin Se Kyung (so straight guys can't qualify as Shawols? Well, i shan't comment; it depends on what standard we use).

But does this make me korean-ified? Oh yes, i'm afraid so.

Shopping List

2010-11-18T16:54:00.004+08:00

There're some rather expensive stuff that i wanna buy. At first, a PS3 was probably the most expensive buy that was imminent, but since Final Fantasy XIII Versus is taking its own sweet time to get released, other relatively expensive buys have taken precedence.

1. A laptop. I was actually quite hesitant on getting a new one, since my old one was still functioning fine (contrary to what my parents think). But now, it gets overheating problems whenever it runs intensive programs. For example, it overheats and shuts down from running "intensive" programs like BEJEWELED BLITZ, streaming movie files, and doing prolonged file transfers. All in a 25 degrees celsius air-conditioned room, with my laptop on stands.

My laptop's touchpad and clicking button have also gotten screwy; they register a click&hold when all i'm doing is clicking, and sometimes they do not register anything at all, with the effect that sometimes i double click on a folder and it doesn't open, and then when i move my pointer to do something else i end up dragging the folder with me. Weird stuff.

I'm eyeing a lightweight laptop with a discrete graphics card and long battery life. Something like an Acer TimelineX 4820TG. Except that i would prefer my laptop to at least have either a USB 3.0 port or an e-SATA port. The Acer laptop also retails at about $1,800 now, which is a little steep for me. I shall have to wait till SITEX 2010 to see if there are any better offers.

2. An electric guitar. I was looking at some guitars at a Singapore website. I think i can get a good guitar with a $350 budget. Ibanez or Smash. Whatever lah, i'm a noob at shopping for guitars.

3. A digital piano. Well, actually, i don't think i'll ever buy one unless there's a 2nd-hand one on offer. Even Yamaha's cheapest P series retails for $1,100. Why are digital pianos so bloody expensive?? Is there some kind of crazy technology involved in making digital pianos? Are the piano keys still made of elephant tusks or something?? Or are they inflating the price in order to keep the regular pianos competitive?? This really sucks.

4. Dragon Age 2: Signature Edition. This one shouldn't cost me more than $100...unless Singapore stores don't offer the Signature Edition to early bird purchasers, which would mean that i'd need to pre-order from an overseas shop. Then it would cost me over $100.

5. Guitar or piano lessons. Which would definitely cost me a few hundred in a month or two.

6. LASIK surgery. Well...i'll wait till law school is over first because my degree is still in the process of getting worse thanks to all that reading.

There are also some less expensive items that i either need or want at the moment.

1. More shorts. I'll get them from Giordano at hopefully $20-30 each. I only have three pairs, and despite wearing them for 3-4 days each, the laundry is somehow so slow that there are times that i don't have any shorts available. And my black pair's zipper is now loose and has a tendency of unzipping on its own, which might lead to some future embarrassment.

2. BB Cream. Okay, this is my vainness at its worst. It's just that i've noticed how BB Cream can help to hide my eyebags a little bit, which can come in handy. XD

3. A black cloth headband. Useful in holding my hair up. Something like the one Taemin wears in the Lucifer MV, which is wider than the one i always use (and which also seems to be missing at the moment) but much thinner than the black shirt sleeve that i sometimes wear on my head.

3. Hair conditioner. My sister and i have been going without it for the past 2 weeks. I told my mother about it 2 weeks ago but nothing was done; i suspect she forgot. And i keep forgetting to either remind her again or go and buy some myself. It's so weird that we have 3 bottles of shampoo in the toilet right now, but no conditioner. Argh curses.

4. Hill Street fried kway teow, teppenyaki, home-made Famous Amos no-nuts cookies, kimchi and/or cabbage to make kimchi. Okay, these are foods, but...what's wrong with needing foods lol! Damn my food cravings are acting up again.

Lol my dreams kinda suck.

2010-11-18T08:58:00.006+08:00

My dreams are really weird. All the time. I've had friends who've told me before that they could fly in their dreams and do all sorts of wonderful and silly things, but my own dreams always seem constrained in a very weird manner.

For one thing, i'm usually the only one in my dreams WITHOUT any special powers (well, i DID dream yesterday that i could drive a motorbike). Instead, i tend to get chased around by weird forces. And i either rely on the powers of others or on "sheer luck" to survive. Or, just before i get killed or whatever, the dream just ends abruptly and begins at another location. Weird.

For another, i'm always vaguely accountable for what i do in my dreams, in a very weird fashion. If i were to *er hem* do embarrassing things in the dream, i WILL get caught by someone. If i see a pen in a shop that i like and try to filch it, the police WILL catch me doing it and they WILL try to kill me. On the other hand, if a policeman likes a pen that i own, he WILL try to kill me for it. And his buddies will join in the chase too. And usually, when i get caught, my dream will either shift about abruptly or it'll end and i'll just wake up early. (Like i just did...i've only slept 4+ freakin hours!)

It's so odd. I can never get away with doing anything bad in my dreams even though people (and monsters) try to kill me all the time. Whenever i'm doing anything that i shouldn't be doing in the real world, i get interrupted. Or if i'm trying to do something i shouldn't, i'd encounter so many obstacles that i'd usually wake up before i do anything. Or i'd just get caught and i'd wake up in a panic. (Yep, like i just did.) I wonder what that says about me. :|

Law is killing me softly.

2010-11-18T02:53:00.008+08:00

I'm feeling hopelessly shitty right now. Something bad just happened recently; i don't want to say what it is, because otherwise i think i'll want to say more things about it and i don't have the time for much elaboration. Anyway it was good to meet my close relatives again, despite the depressing situation.

Now, it's back to my interrupted study break, where i've lost like five days' worth of studying time because i wasn't selfish or hardworking enough to cram my studying time into the whole proceeding. I seem to have lost a lot of motivation to study as well, because somewhere in that interruption i seem to have lost contact with the law and forgotten half the things about goddamn personal property that i used to know. Just thinking of the possibility that i'll flunk my exams, or at least the certainty that i won't do as well as i could have with a few more days and with my studying mode still intact makes me even more depressed. I'm on the verge of tears again. Sigh.

I wonder why it seems like i'd be a failure if i don't end up getting 2nd upper. It's like for every person who thinks that just getting into law school is great, there's someone who didn't have problems making it in law school or in society telling me that a 2nd upper is the bare minimum. (Heck, it IS the bare minimum in order to enter the legal service - a.k.a. civil service.)

Every time i get asked about how law school is (which seems to be the number one topic when someone tries to make some conversation with me), i just want to say how hard i think it is, how take-home papers are killing my sleep time, and how i'm just so lost when it comes to preparing for exams. I want to tell them how i wish studying was like triple science memorisation and TYS practicing again (where i can get the right answers at the back page without having to bug the professor repeatedly via email and risk asking "stupid" questions), how the competition in school is driving me crazy, and how i just don't see myself catching up to students in school who seem to read and make notes so much faster than i do.

So i lie instead, and tell them how i'm just doing OK, and how law school is "tough" but "i think i'll do alright" or something like that. Which just makes things worse, because inevitably i'm not going to hit 2nd upper, i don't know what kind of law firm i'll end up in, and this whole house of cards is just going to come crashing down on me.

But there're so many things that i just can't tell people. I can't tell them that all i want is a mid-level salary, because it won't be deserving of the house i live in and the life i've led and should give to my future wife and children. I can't tell them that, after a law degree, i might want to start anew with a new faculty or (since i'm such a bad student) perhaps joining some company in a minor role (not a law-related one) and working my way up like i know i can. I can't tell them that i'd like to make music, draw manga, or even do theatre. I can't tell them that i'd like to find out what i'd actually enjoy doing in life and make that my occupation. I can't tell them that i value a job with working hours STRICTLY from 9 to 6 much higher than a legal job with twice the pay.

I'm just a victim of my own pride, their expectations, and my own ambition. If i don't end up at a big firm, or at least a well-known one or one that i joined out of choice and not out of desperation, people that i care about (i.e. all those other goddamn lawyers) won't see me as a first-rate lawyer or a first-rate person. If i end up not doing law, i'd be seen as a 3rd-rate member of society, and worse still, a liability to my parents who wasted all that money and effort taking care of me and paying my tuition fees. And since i cannot tolerate being worse than mediocre in my occupational field, i somehow cannot tolerate not being considered a "first-rate person" in the law fraternity. So i must get my 2nd upper, because somehow one goes with the other. But i know i'll most likely not get it, because every other law student is aiming for that top half as well, and somehow most of them seem much more studious and much more articulate than i'll ever be.

And so i must risk being a 3rd-rate person and consider another occupation...and then i don't know what to do. Because most people that i know just cannot contemplate a respectable occupation that is not law-related that i can sign up for while toting around a 2nd lower law degree. Maybe i should take up some guitar/piano classes or go back to practicing my manga-drawing again. Argh...the problem is that an occupation in such a field is so uncertain - it'll be the biggest risk that i've ever taken in my entire life.

This may seem like a very trivial difficulty to some; hey, i'm going to get a job for sure that'll pay at least a couple thousand and i don't have to worry about food and water and a place to sleep...what's the worry? But i can assure you that, while the pressure may be of a different kind, it certainly is there. It's the pressure that comes with the fear of losing what i already have and being unable to reciprocate for what i've received.

And even as i moan about all this nonsense and think about a better way to phrase this huge jumbled pile of crap, more of my study time is evaporating into thin air. I feel so dead.

Beware the Dominatrix.

2010-11-16T08:39:00.006+08:00

Let me just say for the record that i cannot STAND those types of arrogant, competitive, self-centered girls who always want to win or be right or have things their way with few compromises, and who give little to no thought about the feelings or preferences of other people whenever their own interests are affected. When they "give in", it's actually because they don't really care too much either way, and when they TELL me what to do, it's secretly or unconsciously for their benefit and never for mine. I especially cannot STAND the types that are always provoking me into an "argumentative debate" with taunts or getting easily provoked when they feel slighted in the least (and then they get personal and all the rage comes flying out); it's like they're itching for a fight where they must always win and i'll either have to give in completely or become the big jerk when they run crying or complaining to their friends or whoever.

I've always had this habit of running away from girls who exhibit such traits. Of course, first impressions can be deceiving, and some nice girls have proven me wrong in the past, but i usually like playing safe. Call me weak or whatever, but i really do hate having to interact with such types. I like my peace and quiet. And i've already got enough shit to deal with. I also have an ego. So i like it when people listen seriously to what i say before taking a measured approach in asserting their points of view, instead of simply going "No, no, but..." or "No, no, how about we do this instead..." when a different idea/argument/theory/suggestion pops up in their head; and the fact that their idea or whatever is different from mine presupposes that mine is wrong. I also prefer it if people give some thought to my expressed and implied feelings and preferences before deciding what to do; that way, i can focus on reciprocating instead of getting into disgusting and relationship-damaging wars while trying to assert my ignored preferences. Thankfully, these types of scary girls are rare. But then i entered law school, which is probably more likely to have more of these types than not. I'm an idiot i guess.

Why only girls? Because they can get away with it; sometimes they're even fondly labelled "strong" or "independent"...which actually doesn't make sense because most of these girls can't even take care of themselves. How do you measure "independence"? Your ability to make money? Heck, i think i know a guy who even thinks that such behaviour is "cute"! He'd probably raise a spoilt monster of a daughter, thinking that padding her ego by giving in to her all the time is like some kind of affirmative action to help the feminist movement (or maybe he just thinks that he's "doting" on her). There's a difference between being proud and being an arrogant bitch! What about guys with similar personalities? They usually DO get labelled as arrogant or as chauvinist pigs and chucked into the "jerk heap" by the general populace and ESPECIALLY by girls with similar personalities who had clashed with those guys before.

So, are you a girl? Was the first thing you thought of when you started reading the intentionally sweeping assertions in my rant "No, but..."? Are you really pissed off with me right now and wish to go complain to your family and friends? Do you wish to post a comment to me and have an "argumentative debate" with me in order to persuade me that my opinion is totally incorrect? And do you think that my incorrectness has something to do with me being a jerk or some kind of idiot?

If so, please do let me know who you are, so that i can make a note of it. :)

PS: Dominatrix is the wrong word to use, by the way. It has sexual connotations, and i can imagine a dominatrix who "dominates" not for her own pleasure but for the pleasure of the masochist. I just used "Dominatrix" in my post's title because it grabs attention, seems quite funny, and sounds kind of catchy too. XD

2010-10-24T14:45:00.001+08:00

"Procrastination is like masturbation: feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself." - Anonymous

After more than 13 years...

2010-10-23T03:01:00.004+08:00

Let today be known as the day that I finally raised an Airdramon. Yes, i'm talking about that Airdramon in version 1 of the Digimon virtual pets (a.k.a. the Tamagotchi for boys). Coco's the one who got me into it though XD, she's playing with my Tamagotchi right now!

Lol i'm such a old-school game lover; besides newer stuff like Dragon Age, Risen, Mass Effect, Persona 4, Bleach: Blade Battlers 2nd, DOTA, and Crisis Core - which a lot of gamers would consider to be OLD GAMES - i've been playing REALLY OLD games over the past few years. Old meaning Mechwarrior 2 Merceneries, Final Fantasy IV, Pokemon (Yellow), and old arcade games like Puzzle Fighter, Marvel vs Capcom, and Street Fighter Alpha 3. Recently i've started playing one of the oldest games I have ever known, and which i have yet to complete after all this time - it's kinda like unfinished business for me. I've stopped playing until the exams are over though, so I will finally finish it in December lol.

I replay old games because the new games that are out are mostly real-time-strategy or first-person shooters...those are too stressful to play! And they don't give too much freedom to explore the world and feel immersed in the story and the environments. The only immersion is done through good graphics and the regular, back-stabbing-conspiracy storyline. Whatever happened to imagination?

I don't play MMORPGs like WoW either. No time. See? I have some self-control after all.

Anyway, talk about no time, i better go sleep. Bloody Personal Property Law essay is killing me, although i think my flu might kill me first - i have an infected throat and my nose is completely blocked and dripping like mad! Urgh...i feel so shitty. And it's both the flu and law school's fault.

Random thought on relationships.

2010-09-12T22:59:00.011+08:00

You know, if someone were to ask me which trait is more important in deciding whether to get into a relationship with a girl - looks or character - i'd say that it really depends.

People normally say that looks are only skin-deep and would fade with age. Thus character is always the more important trait. However - and this surprises me too - i think i disagree with that analysis to an extent. Because i think that, while looks fade with age, character can also change before and after a person gets into a relationship. A person who seems quite nice and alright could be selfish and bad-tempered towards his/her family and therefore towards the people he/she becomes close to as well. Or someone who seems mature and emotionally independent could become the exact opposite (e.g. possessive and demanding) after getting attached.

So if you're patient enough to find out about the guy's/girl's family relationship and become a really close friend of that guy/girl first before making a decision as to whether you truly want to spend the rest of your life with that guy/girl, then go for character. If you don't have the luxury of waiting around, then looks might be a better choice to ensure at least a measure of satisfaction afterwards and lowers the risk of a breakup after a long, long courtship.

Of course, there are exceptions. First, lots of makeup, wigs, things that make you look far better than you normally do, etc. 'Nuff said. Secondly, i think you can probably tell immediately if a handsome guy/beautiful girl is nevertheless a psycho, or - if the character incompatibilities are less obvious - you might still be able to notice warning signs if you're perceptive enough.

Most importantly, however, even if you go for looks, i think every relationship needs a bit of give and take to sustain it. A bit of sacrifice from either party, for the other party, so as to create a feeling of indebtedness. Now, people might call me unromantic or calculative, but i really do acknowledge the power of indebtedness in all relationships, even in romantic relationships and familial ones. At the very least, it is something tangible that we can hold on to.

So, my advice to anyone in a relationship right now is to constantly look at yourself, see if you are pulling sufficient weight in your relationship, and try to give as much (or perhaps more) to the other party as he/she is giving to you, whether it is physical assistance, or material or emotional support. If you don't feel any sense of indebtedness, then maybe you're not sufficiently acknowledging the things he/she does for you...or maybe the other party's an ass. But of course, the key in this exercise is to generally be more patient with the other party but more demanding with yourself.

Certain (mostly familial) relationships can survive even with one-sided sacrifice, but if people on both sides of relationships constantly look at themselves and review themselves (especially for the important relationships), i'm sure there will be longer and happier relationships all around, romantic or not.

Why no baseball?

2010-07-13T22:48:00.004+08:00

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh...

My blog that is. Anyway, if you're not too busy having internships like I am, go watch Major! Lol and Ookiku Furikabutte and Cross Game. Amagad all baseball anime just rock. Why oh why does Singapore only have softball in schools...not saying softball's bad, but at least there's a glamorous future in baseball!

Heck, i wonder why Singapore seems to like to focus on sports which really don't pay (i.e. they don't have leagues that bring in millions of dollars a year). Instead, we have lots of focus on swimming, sailing, table tennis, archery, shooting and bowling. Admirable sports to be sure - heck, swimming and table tennis can be very exciting to watch - but not anywhere near football, american football, basketball, and baseball.

Is it because of facilities? That's why we focus on rugby and have zero focus on american football, right...because american football uses too much equipment? So we can also be a strong sailing country because we have lots of water all around us. That i can understand. But why softball instead of baseball??? Or, to be exact, why all softball and no baseball at all???

Is it so that we can save money on equipment since both girls and guys can play softball at the senior level? That's a ridiculous excuse! Or maybe softball is an Olympic sport or something while baseball is not? That's even more ridiculous!

Here we have a sport that can bring in lots of (economic) success and glory to players, and even if you're not Major League quality, there's still the very successful Japanese and Korean leagues. AND you don't have to be freakin' tall (like in basketball) or be freakin' fit (like in soccer...well you need to be freakin' fit in basketball and american football too) to be a good player! You just need three things - hard work, decent facilities, and to start young. A gym, a backyard's space to pitch, and a batting centre is all you need to train a good player (outfielders are a little different though).

So why not baseball? Oh i rue the lack of opportunities in the Lion City!

Okay, that's all i'm gonna write about that. Oh, i lost $5 at cards and won $50 at slots in Las Vegas btw lol.

Oh and i wanted the Netherlands to win from the very beginning, and it's good that they made it to the finals at least. They kinda deserved to lose to Spain though, although I still hate all those 1-0 victories that Spain churned out. I think most neutrals were supporting Germany towards the end, and they deserved that support.

Well, it's time to do other things. I don't have much time on weekdays now thanks to the long and irregular working hours.

This is bad...i was supposed to sleep 5 hours ago!

2010-05-28T06:08:00.006+08:00

I just finished reading the last chapter of Akumetsu. Now that it's over, i feel like crying...*sobz sobz*...so sad...Such a great manga though. Although i must say that i had some misconceptions when writing about the manga after reading the first 40 chapters (read: plenty of revelations that rendered certain things that i said incorrect). Still, it didn't harm the manga in my eyes - the manga is still in my all time top 3. But it's time to move on to something different...maybe some happy romance manga?

Damn it's practically morning now. What i had first thought to be just another short Akumetsu "arc" turned out to be its long final closing curtain. So i got sucked into reading it for err...5 hours straight? Whoops. And i just had to blog about it too wtf. There goes my plans to play basketball later i guess. Sorry Bing!

Now...i'll need plan out some exercises to make up for the physical inactivity (i.e. sleeping through the morning instead of playing basketball)!

Oh and of course i should try to be disciplined about my sleeping schedules next time...*gaah* i suck.

First post-exam post!

2010-05-23T10:48:00.015+08:00

Hey guys, do you recall that just a short while ago, i was ranting about how i couldn't find Ramune (ラムネ) anywhere in Singapore now? Well, guess what, i've been asking cashiers and store assistants at Japanese minimarts, and one store assistant finally gave me an answer. Apparently, Ramune has been banned by the Agri-Food & Veterinary Authority of Singapore ("AVA") because of the marble in the bottle!!! OMFG!!!

Well, i tried to confirm this fact by checking out AVA's website, but i couldn't find anything in that 10 minutes of research that could be regarded as a banned food list or any news on Ramune.

Argh...what's wrong with Ramune??? I don't see how the marble can hurt anyone, since there's no way that marble can somehow get out of the bottle and choke someone. *Gaah* what's going to happen to my Ramune bottle collection now??? Is it going to become stagnant??? Most importantly, i like the taste of the Ramune drink! Luckily, the Japanese mart with the knowledgeable salesperson (it's located in Millennia Walk, btw) sold this drink called "Ramu Bottle", which is essentially the Ramune fizzy drink in a normal bottle. I found Ramu Bottle so amusing because it even has a picture of the original Ramune bottle on its label! XD However, i couldn't find the other Ramune flavours, which sucks. So besides Ramu Bottle, the only Japanese drinks in Singapore right now are overly-sweet fruit drinks and freakin' Calpis. Sigh.

Oh, and i must say that i experienced an uncomfortable disquiet when i found out that Ramune was not sold in Singapore anymore because of the AVA food ban. Because it really seemed to me that there was insufficient publication to inform people of the Ramune ban. The drink simply vanished off the shelves one day. Obviously there wasn't any public discussion for a product as unimportant to Singapore as this, and according to my knowledge of the law, judicial review is open (likely only to the Ramune company and those who stock up and sell the item, not to us normal people who lack locus standi) but unlikely to change anything. So there was that feeling of helplessness as well.

Anyway, i've been reading manga ever since exams ended (well, then again i was reading manga even before exams ended, although i banned myself from them 2 weeks before the exams). When it comes to manga, i realise that i'm quite an action-seinen fan, given how Vagabond and Berserk are among my favourite manga. So, this holiday season, i started off by reading three action-seinen manga. Fortunately, the experience with all three manga have been extremely positive. So positive, in fact, that i'll write about all three of them here.

The first manga i started reading post-exams was Gantz, and i must say...this manga is seriously a work of art. I've read about 265 chapters and i was just completely blown away. The emotions and characters are just so real, the fight scenes are exhilarating, and the mystery is deeply intriguing. No one is spared from the axe of death (meaning he/she dies and is axed from the manga) - not even the main characters. Every bad guy invokes an "oh shit they're all gonna die!" from me, and the fights get more and more epic as time passes, such that my "oh shit they're all gonna die!" gets louder and louder.

But what really sucks me in is how the protagonist develops throughout the manga, both physically and emotionally. The whole combination made for the most addictive reading i've ever had, and i have read quite a lot of manga and watched quite a lot of anime in my lifetime.

Then again, something happened recently (chapter 220 to be exact...or should I say chapter 237 instead..?) to make Gantz go a little bit downhill. But Gantz is still (at the moment) my favourite manga of all time, and i'm confident that the author will eventually find some way to correct the serious anomaly that occurred in chapter 220 (why the f*ck did he pick that choice??? I can rant out 3 reasons now why he shouldn't have done that but they'd all be spoiler-filled) and make things better again.

Another manga i started reading is called Holyland. Simple premise, i'd say, but the whole relationship between gang fighting and fighting strength is explored here pretty well. It's also very realistic in that sense i suppose. In fact, i think this is the most realistic fighting manga i've ever seen - for both character development and fighting techniques. The author even pauses every now and then to explain things in documentary style. Forget Kenichi; if you're a true martial arts manga fan, you'll want to be reading Holyland.

The next manga i started reading is called Akumetsu. I've read about 40 chapters, and i have to say that the manga is also a work of art. When an amateur reviewer said that Akumetsu was, to him, what Death Note was supposed to be, he was absolutely correct, in my opinion. Akumetsu is similar to Death Note in certain ways - a high schooler receives power of a sort and tries to change society through extremist ways.

But here the similarity ends. To me, Akumetsu is just so much more (and here's when i start putting Death Note down...SPOILERS WARNING!). While Death Note deals with whether all people who commit serious crimes should just be killed, Akumetsu deals with whether the bureaucrats who created Japan's insane national debt should be punished at all, and how the rotten banking and administrative system could be changed. Which i think is a much deeper and more controversial topic. While Death Note eventually descends into this detective nonsense where people are trying to find out Kira's identity using oh-so-genius methods and Kira manages to avoid discovery using his own oh-so-genius methods and a huge dose of luck, Akumetsu deals more thoroughly with the controversies and the main character's mission to change the system. While the implications of Kira's actions are quickly dealt with and brushed aside, the effect of Akumetsu's actions on Japan is probably the main focus of the manga (while Death Note just keeps shouting "power corrupts!" over and over again).

Akumetsu is also a smarter manga compared to Death Note. Death Note has geniuses for sure, but the manga itself is not genius because of that (although i'll give the author props for his cool idea about killing people using a book). i think it's quite plausible for the author to have come up with the detectives' new attacks and Lights's counters to them by spending a good few days of planning and then compressing all that thinking into an instant. Also, if the author wanted to, he could have easily made L and Light get perfect scores on all their tests and add basketball and soccer skills to their already extraordinary national level tennis abilities - and there, geniuses are created without much genius required. Meanwhile, the genius and daring of the author of Akumetsu HIMSELF is demonstrated in the premise of his manga and in his delivery.

That being said, i haven't read too far into Akumetsu, so you never know whether things will change (for better or worse) as i read further. Still, i like how real Akumetsu is. Sure, the people at the top are extraordinary scumbags, but at least there aren't extraordinary geniuses in there. Like, how the heck do you get a secret organisation which harbours orphans who just so happen to be the "biggest geniuses" in Japan (i don't agree that they are, btw...the author once said that Near was the smartest character in Death Note "because he cheats"...how is that genius? Everyone cheats in the real world!) and who just so happen to have so many other skills (like being great in school and great at tennis...how is that realistic)? How would you even find those orphans? Why is the main character the equal of these geniuses...why did Death Note have to depict a fight between geniuses in the first place? In Akumetsu, there are no such geniuses, just the main character with his powers (at least for now...and the main character was ordinary before he had those powers too). So there is no fanservice either. No Amane Misa, an idol, just Nagasawa Shina, an ordinary highschool girl - which is so much better in my opinion. No tennis match between the two genius rivals either - oh man, that scene was just puke-worthy.

Actually, there's only one celebrity-worthy person in Akumetsu so far (Akumetsu himself), while there are so many celebrity characters in Death Note (Light, L, Misa, Ryuk, Mello, Near, Rem). I guess that's why Death Note was so much more commercial and successful, manga-wise and franchise-wise. Ohwell. BTW, i'd compare Akumetsu to Code Geass too, but i haven't got the time and i haven't watched season 2 yet.

Whew, that last review was extra long...i think it's because i dislike how Death Note is so popular and how people say Death Note is so intelligent, when there are much better manga out there! It's just like Suzumiya Haruhi - i just love putting down anime/manga that i think is overrated. Heck, i like putting down Friends too. Granted, the first few seasons were great, but the later few seasons had humour that was basically just fanservice. Quite a lot of American sitcoms are like that, unfortunately. So commercialised, so money-sucking, and so distasteful, in my opinion. Anyway, it's time for me to get back to slacking...ahahaha!

2010-04-24T11:52:00.001+08:00

Hmm. I see that the lion's mane is coming back.

ラムネはどこ???

2010-04-18T15:31:00.006+08:00

What happened to Ramune in Singapore??? They don't sell the drink at Takashimaya and at the Japanese mart in Parkway Parade anymore, and it's been taken off the menu at Waraku and Ajisen Ramen. NOOOO don't tell me no one in Singapore is importing Ramune anymore...i know it's quite expensive for a just little bit of soda, but it's about the novelty! The culture! The unique taste! The enjoyable experience! Oh no...what's going to happen to my Ramune bottle collection now??? :(:(:(

Loner Greg

2010-03-18T02:32:00.004+08:00

You know, i've been messing around with this visual novel of late. It's called "Family Project", and it's a very heartfelt story of a group of penniless, homeless people coming together and living under a house and masquerading as a faux family in an attempt to find some mutual support in their lives and start anew.

Anyway, i really think that the main character (the one you control and who has no voice-over) is a lot like me. Well, i don't have the stomach and the desire to shout at people, get into fights, and apologise and make up like he does. I also have better savings than he does.

But still, we are really alike in certain ways. Like him, i'm a loner. I don't openly desire a completely independent life like he does, but maybe because of that loner personality, we share similar traits. For example, we both prefer not to owe anyone anything and we prefer it if no one owes us anything (although i tend to use the latter to offset the former). Which is why i'm really troubled by the fact that i still owe JY lunch. :| And i return favours very quickly, rinse cups that i used late at night, and refuse extra cash from my parents. I'm also pretty generous too. People tend to think of me as a nice guy because of this (and the same goes for the guy in the game), but admittedly it sounds like quite a ego issue, seen in this light. It's like i don't want to have to say "sorry" or "thank you".

Also, we both don't mind going for outings, but we never organise one ourselves unless it is deemed necessary (say, because if we don't then we would owe someone). We might make friends quickly, but we also lose friends fast because we never keep up with these friends via telephone, email, facebook, messenger, or whatever. We hate it whenever there's a misunderstanding of what we did and why we did it, whether it's a misunderstanding that gives us more credit or less. We both have put in effort to know enough life-skills to live on our own: cooking, my driving, etc. If we need help in anything, we never ask for it. We're both also not too ambitious with work, hate too much commitment, and we need that certain amount of "me" time everyday.

So yeah, we're such loners. Okay, it's nearly 3am and i have school tomorrow at 9.30am. Time to sleep!

2010-03-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

Move over Erohon, here comes Eroge!

Lilly is out???

2010-03-13T05:27:00.007+08:00

Ahhh i can't stand the latest American Idol results!!! Why didn't Lilly Scott stay on? She's got such a wonderful voice! Noo...

On the other hand, there were singers who got into the top 12 and really didn't deserve to be there. Like Katie Stevens. She doesn't have much range and probably doesn't even know that a head voice exists. For the past month she's been prancing around the stage singing at her lowest key, and i'm really getting sick of hearing that low-pitch voice, which she obviously uses so often simply because she wouldn't be able to hit the highest notes in the song otherwise. She might be young, but even if she could improve her vocal range in a week, her voice is so contemporary that it's ordinary and indistinct. Well, maybe Glee or Disney wouldn't mind her. But anyway, we already have Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks...do we really need another power-pop singer? Not to mention that Clarkson's can call on a little bit of rock edge when needed and Sparks has that little bit of R&B edge, while Katie Stevens has nothing except for that high school appeal.

Then there's Tim Urban, who also suffers roughly the same problem as Katie Stevens. And don't get me started on Paige Miles. She's the worst of the lot in my opinion...what was she even doing in the top 16??? I can only think that it's either because of some unfairly large voting fanbase, or because she can sing in head voice - although she goes off pitch (and does random "oohs") so often that it's more like screaming.

Anyway, i've also observed three things after watching the show so far...

First, songs above a certain beat-count (i don't know the proper term, but i'm referring to faster songs {Coco has informed me via tagboard that it's called "tempo" :)}) will hardly ever be well-received on American Idol. Katelyn Epperly found that out this week. Put simply, unless you have the theatrics or crazy vocals to pull off a fast song, most fast songs just lack that dramatic effect which makes a performance memorable. It's very hard to add emotion to a fast song, and if the song was originally fast, it's hard to adapt the song to another genre without slowly it down first.

Secondly, male R&B is dead. Well, unless you're Usher. Or maybe if you're white. This was apparent after Jermaine Sellers left the competition last week and Todrick Hall left this week.

It's like the genre, and the voice associated with it, is not popular anymore, unless you add in a dance element or you have that white (or any non-contemporary R&B) voice. For some reason, great vocal range or not, if you convert a song into an R&B song and sing it with a contemporary R&B voice, it just won't sound right (except for Jermaine Sellers' "What if God Was One of Us"...then again i'm not sure if this was his invention and, more importantly, this R&B version might not have sounded good as a longer version and with an instrumental backing). But of course singing a song that is originally R&B also won't get you anywhere on American Idol these days. So male contemporary R&B singers are screwed in this competition.

Not to say that that's the only reason that Jermaine Sellers, who was so awesome during the audition rounds, was booted last week. Jermaine's songs all had this black-church-music element, which really isn't for everyone, and his songs (as feared) weren't as original and memorable as his audition song. He had a good head voice, but the way he used it was really messy and he had pitch problems too. Totally different from the audition where he showed a lot of vocal control.

Thirdly, American Idol judges (and the general public) are overly impressed with the head voice (the high pitched voice that is richer in tone compared to the falsetto). The judges repeatedly comment on how Paige Miles has a really powerful voice, and Kara was so impressed with Adam Lambert's high notes last season and with that one note by Siobhan Magnus last week. My family are quite impressed with the head voice too. But the truth is that HEAD VOICE IS NO BIG DEAL. It's just a simple technique. In fact, your vocal chords get much more tired from belting in chest voice than from singing loudly and comfortably from the higher pitched head voice. While it is true that many American Idol finalists can't seem to sing in head voice, to me that's more of a crime, rather than giving those with head voices something to be proud of.

Most (if not all) opera and Broadway singers can sing in head voice. I could teach it to you if you wanted to learn how. To me, the real skill is in eliminating the nasal twang from your head voice, and in using your mixed voice to blend the chest and head voices such that there is no break in between the two. In other words, really skilled singers would be able to fool the uneducated into thinking that the singer wasn't singing in two distinct voices, but that he/she just had a really huge vocal range obtained solely from extraordinary inborn talent.

Ohwell, speaking of singing, i've got a performance in less that 11 hours time and i haven't even had my day's sleep. I'm planning to wake up at 2pm. Hopefully my own voice would have recovered by then and the performance goes well!

American Idol Audition Round Commentary

2010-02-05T01:53:00.006+08:00

Okay, so i'm done watching the audition rounds for American Idol Season 9 (i.e. this year) and i have to say that i'm pleased enough with the talent on display...although if you interview so many thousand Americans, you'll obviously hit some gold.

But the person that really stood out for me (in the audition rounds only of course) is Jermaine Sellers. Go watch his audition video! There was (what i think was) an off-tune moment in the first verse at the word "is", but after that it was pitch-perfect and smooth-sailing for him. His voice has great tone quality - perfect for his genre of music. And he went up into head voice and down into chest voice so smoothly and effortlessly at the end. That was amazing. Even if he was cheating by using that "R&B style" of moving from note to note to hide his voice breaking, it still shows that he has great skill.

I think he's the one to look out for, but of course anything can happen. Especially if one of the other contestants become really creative while Sellers descends into singing typical R&B songs which would get boring. Then again, he made an awesome song selection in the auditions with an R&B interpretation of Joan Osborne's "What If God Was One of Us".

The other people in the audition round that stood out for me were:

Andrew Garcia: He sang Sunday Morning and he was great (although he DID have an off-tune moment at the start, similar to Jermaine Sellers). His voice sounds really nice, and although i think his accent sounds a little misplaced, it also kinda adds to his uniqueness. His singing isn't as cultured as Sellers, but Garcia is still a great natural singer.

Didi Benami: She sang Hey Jude. I think she's got a lovely and very unique voice. Her range is very good, could be slightly better, but she makes up for it with her strong and clear singing voice. At first i thought she sounded country (which i don't really like), but then almost immediately it started sounding like...i dunno, a mix of country with jazz. And she has this err 3/4 Canadian 1/4 British accent to her singing voice which makes her stand out a lot to me. She's also pretty and she's quite modest, so she's got the whole package.

Aaron Kelly: Had a bit of country twang when he started singing which i didn't really like. But he had a smooth voice with good control, great range, and apart from that country twang, i'd daresay he's better than David Archuletta. Actually, to be purely objective, that country twang is probably what makes him better than Archuletta, since Archuletta sounds a little too Disney to me. And hey, Archuletta was 2nd two years ago - that tells you how far Aaron Kelly could rise if he chooses the right songs.

Charity Vance: My favourite female contestant! And my 2nd favourite contestant overall. She's got great range and a very nice voice. Her voice came across to Randy as "small" but all of them could recognise her singing style as unique. Which was how i felt too. And i kinda sensed that she had a voice which could go well with a type of music that i like listening to. Or it could be just her choice of song. Either way she sounded great. A pity, however, that she apparently didn't make it to the top 24 (unlike those contestants mentioned above). Still, i wish her all the best in her music career, and i'll buy her CD if she ever produces one.

Special mention for the audition round goes to Andrew Fenlon, who apparently was just acting the whole time. But i thought he was awesome! Hahaha his singing was good; not a fantastic range, but he had good tone quality and a voice that could do jazz and oldies very well.

I don't think that Fenlon wanted to stay in the competition, so it wouldn't make a difference if Kara hadn't thrown a hissy fit. Still, i would've voted him in if i were a judge on that show. I agree with Simon; Fenlon's character grows on you. And that is even if you didn't know that his "impatience" was intentional. Fenlon may seem psycho to some, but i personally see similarities between him and Captain Kirk in the latest Star Trek. He's a guy who doesn't listen to authority, apologises like he never means it, and he's a little argumentative. But this disregard for authorities and pushy attitude is what allows him to save the day. And the way he sang his song was awesome - like he was really down in the dumps! Hahaha he got me singing the song to myself every now and then for the next few days.

And that's the end of my American Idol audition round commentary...i hope to hear some great performances a few weeks from now!

Just in case.

2009-12-29T07:22:00.003+08:00

My totally awesome friends have just recently given me a new basketball and a Razer Lycosa keyboard. So, for those thinking of getting me one of those gifts (assuming for the moment of course that any of such people exist), please refrain from doing so! Well, another basketball i can probably keep until the previous ball wears out, but another Razer keyboard would just end up being given to someone else.

Edit: I just bought an external hard drive casing for myself too.

I MIGHT write more later.

Doggone Yummy.

2009-12-24T03:28:00.002+08:00

Lol, today, i gave Winter an early Christmas present: a cheese omelette with a bit of his pellets stuffed here and there. Sorry Mum, i really feel bad for him when i'm making supper for myself late at night. He wanted it so badly that when i put the food in his bowl and asked to shake his hand, he jumped on me full-strength with both paws up. Then i asked him to bring his "bone" and he started whining like mad until he actually understood what i was saying, grabbed his cowhide, and ran to me. He was frantic.

Very little oil, no extra salt, but even i think that the omelette tasted REALLY GOOD. Winter was slurping it up non-stop and chomped down all the cheese-coated pellets. The omelette hadn't even cooled as much as i would've liked. This is probably the tastiest thing Winter has eaten in his entire life. He probably knows me as God, now.

Izz OVVAAH!

2009-12-01T01:31:00.007+08:00

WAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S OVER!!! XD

Okay, Company Law went better than Property Law...still far from perfect though. But ohwell. Exams are over. I'm going to dump thoughts of law out of my mind for a month.

Or maybe i'll just do some light reading...i suppose it's possible to distinguish reading law stuff from law STRESS. Learning the law is actually pretty fun if there's no pressure to take notes for the exams, contribute in class, finish tutorials, assignments, etc...

But, yeah, i need a break. Thanks to property mid-year exams, i didn't even have a break during the mid-semester holidays urgh. From the start of school until now, i've been doing schoolwork in school and going home in the evening with a long list of things to do - all schoolwork related. There is schoolwork to do even on weekends - i suppose that's what happens when you take two days to finish studying a topic and doing a tutorial and you're only afforded one day.

Of course, there're still some chores to handle. I've just gotten a haircut. I've gotta start preparing for my IPPT. I've gotta get one of my ram chips replaced. I've gotta transfer all of my phone contacts to my new phone (a N97 mini!!! XD). I've gotta find a way to extract all my messages from my old phone...i likely won't go through the holidays with a proper peace of mind unless i pay a visit to the Sony Ericsson service centre to see if i can solve the problem.

Yes, i think that's it; if i can't separate/compartmentalise not just work and play but my MENTAL STATES for work and play, i'll never truly study and i'll never truly have fun. But for this holiday, i should endeavour to get ALL my work out of the way so i don't even have to worry about it at all.

Anyway, since it's December...it means my birthday is coming soon! HARHAR. And you know what? I've actually made a list of stuff that people could consider getting for me lol! Yeah, i know...what an arrogant bastard right? Does he really think that people would want to buy birthday presents for him? Does he even think that people read this blog???

So i'll say this first - no, i don't expect anyone to get me a gift. You don't have to avoid tagging my blog for a month because you don't want to feel bad about having read this and not getting me a birthday gift. I don't expect birthday gifts...i just expect angpaos. Nah just kidding about that last bit too.

In fact, PLEASE don't get me anything if i don't give you a birthday treat or invite you my family's new year's eve party (there probably won't be a repeat of last year...too crowded lah) or any birthday parties in general. You'd just make me feel bad.

Just think of this as me listing out my "wants" on my blog so that i can get them for myself later on or something like that. So here's the list, in no particular order of preference:

Another basketball - MUST BE Spalding, leather, and official size & weight; indoor/outdoor is preferable.

Car accessories - i'm not sure what would fit my car (a medium-dark red toyota altis), though i'd recommend that it not be anything that swings about in the car. My car ipod-radio transmitter is working fine, thank you.

An external casing for 3.5" sata harddisks - preferably a reliable brand (Cooler Master? A.C. Ryan? Something along those lines?)...casing ONLY, no need to waste money on a harddisk itself...i've been wanting to make one of my internal harddisks external for a while now, but haven't really got off my butt to get it done. As for harddisks i'm eventually going to get a big and fast one and install Windows 7 in it, but i'd like to enjoy my Windows XP for a while more...

Display pieces for my room - i don't mind stuff that can be put on display in my room. In fact, being quite a compulsive collector of cool stuff, i very much like display pieces if they're really very cool. Cool stuff includes things that i identify with, so you'd have to know me decently well.

An example of a gift in this group? The small Lamborghini Reventon model that Darinne and Mark gave me last year. I'm not a big fan of cars, so the only reason that i loved it was because i identify with the Lamborghini Reventon; it is after all, my favourite car of all time and my dream car too (duh).

Other examples of display pieces would include anime/game figurines and katanas. HAHAHA katanas would really be the clincher. No wait, the clincher would be a Buster Sword. In all it's stainless steel glory LOL. Okay i'm kidding...i don't think my room has space for that.

Four 10kg rubber weights - the type that can be screwed onto Aibi dumbbell bars...oh yeah! ;)

A guitar pick - simple and easy.

A gym bench - Hopefully i can fit this one into my room...and hey, it can double as a bench for people to sit on as well.

Karaoke VCDs - to top up the songs in my house's karaoke system...i think our karaoke system seriously needs updating. Even with the 100 new songs we're getting soon, it might not be enough. Not too sure about Chinese songs...i suppose S.H.E. or Jay Chou's latest karaoke VCDs couldn't hurt. Perhaps also some Jap/Korean VCDs for variety?

Some of the latest dance-pop/crap=pop/hip-hop/RnB nonsense songs would be great too, although those're for the benefit of my guests...you'll never see me singing one of those...i guess "updating" would involve getting *er hem* songs like Beyonce, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Justin Timberlake, and Lady Gaga's latest stuff...maybe some Highschool Musical tracks...seriously *er hem*. Ohwell.

AND there's also a lack of Lifehouse, Linkin Park, The Script, and Third Eye Blind songs in the karaoke system...i'd really appreciate having some of those ahahaha!! Of course, it'd be better to wait till i confirm the 100 songs that we're going to get for the karaoke system...i'll upload that list once it's confirmed.

A PS3 - lol kidding!!! XD

A pool table - hmm...nah our house has no space for that.

A Razer keyboard (black one with blue lights) - i probably won't use it the proper way, but they look so damn cool and it'll just be so damn cool to own one.

A REAL oven to bake my bread - lol but i don't think the kitchen has the space for this...

Replacement strings for my classical guitar - my guitar's getting old and the strings are getting worn out...i'd like an acoustic guitar too (and an electric one as well, hey hey!) but that is way too expensive and quite unnecessary for someone of my noobish skill level.

Robert Jordan(deceased)'s latest Wheel of Time novel, "The Gathering Storm" - with the help of his son and Brandon Sanderson; this would be Book no. 12, i believe.

A singing coach - ha ha ha.

Third Eye Blind's latest album, Ursa Major - is this even available yet?

An undertaking to help me replace the strap on my cheap but good Casio digital watch - :D

Vouchers - for shops where i often buy stuff from (tech stuff! tech stuff!)

And where all else fails, clothes - since i don't often go out to buy them myself. Don't get me shoes though, i have enough. My sizes are err waist size 30 for pants/shorts and Threadless/Giordano's M size for T-shirts (don't get me baggy t-shirts, i'm pretty much over that phase now)...I'd love a nice vest, btw. Like the one Godot wears in the Nintendo DS game, Phoenix Wright - Trials and Tribulations; it's cool stuff!

And to make it easy for everyone - i know how hard it is to get gifts - i don't mind packs of black office socks, ankle socks, or underwear. Seriously. No real colour preference for the ankle socks and underwear. Socks should be a universal size, and underwear should be errr Byford's L size. Don't get me small, 'cos everything would just spill out if i wear those! >.<

And if you're dead poor, i guess giving me a Good Time should be good enough for me! :)

All these are wants, not really needs, so the best thing is if i don't get them from anyone, i can always get them next year! Cool.

After exam priorities.

2009-11-27T04:05:00.004+08:00

Less than four more days to go. When i get home after the exam, i'm going to grab a bottle of chilled beer and gulp it down all on my own.

Then the next day, i'm going to go get some exercise.

Sad.

2009-11-25T16:47:00.002+08:00

I was so sure that i'd be happy, overjoyed, once the exams were over. But now i don't know...how do you enjoy your holidays when you know that you screwed up in your exams? How do you enjoy it when you study like mad until almost traumatic levels, and people can still quote all these cases on the get-go while you have to spend all that time looking through your notes? When people had prepared the right answers and spotted the right topics but you didn't? When you spend 10% of the exam time mulling over one difficult issue and likely got it wrong? When you gave yourself only 30% of the exam time to finish up half the paper?

Have i reached my limits? Have i OVERreached my limits and gotten burnt as a result?

If i answer no to the above two questions, then i'm NOT going to be able to enjoy my holidays.

I'm still horrible at it.

2009-11-13T02:01:00.007+08:00

It is SO DAMN SHITTY that this event has to be right when exams are just around the corner. Amagad i'm just so freakin stressed out. And it really shows, because when i'm stressed, i start losing hair...literally. In ways people can't imagine LOL...urgh. Serves me right for not thinking a month ahead, i suppose. :\

Anyway after a bit of fretting, i consulted my trusty device, and have come up with a solution. It would take up a day of studying...but hey, prioritising is the name of the game, right? Stuff like this is far more important than getting a half grade better in a few subjects, right? I mean seriously.

Aside from the GODDAMN F*CKIN EXAMS (and to an extent, Winter, everyone's health, and how to earn enough later in life to do this family proud and be able to bring the kids on holiday once a year and retire comfortably and stuff like that), i've only got one worry right now...what the heck am i supposed to do next year? :| Sigh, i've gotta get better at this.

The sadness of having a pet.

2009-11-08T14:46:00.005+08:00

I'm...quite a pessimistic guy, aren't i? We currently have a dog in our house, a nearly all-white jack russel called Winter. He stayed in my old condominium for a few months when i was in JC1, and is actually my cousin's dog. I knew him when he was just a puppy.

Now, he's staying over at our house for the next two months or so. He's moved houses quite a bit, staying with my cousin, then her in-laws when she moved overseas, then with us in the condominium, then back to the in-laws and now back with us.

You could say that this house is the most spacious that he's ever lived in. My dad's also pretty free these days, so he often takes Winter for walks around the neighbourhood.

Yet, i can't help but feel sad for Winter. Back when he stayed with us in the condominium, he was about 4 years old and in the prime of his life. Now, he's approaching 9, and is an old dog - something like 60+ in human years, supposedly. I think it sucks to have to watch anybody and anything you care for grow old, and you tend to notice it more when you haven't seen the person - or the pet - for a very long time (we don't visit my cousin's in-laws much...in fact i don't think i've ever gone to their house; i only hear about Winter from the stories my mother tells me).

And when i think back on the life that Winter has lived, it just seems to me that he hasn't lived a full life. I don't think he's ever "done it" before, and he clearly has never had offspring and will never have them (because he had his testicles removed for medical reasons). He has never truly eaten "good food", and he has never had the chance to run around in the grass (because the adults are afraid he'll get mites). And apart from his early years with Ginger (this other dog that my cousin had but was gifted to a dog-lover friend when she went overseas to live), Winter has never had consistent contact with other dogs for roughly the past 6 years. He lives a sheltered life but has no companionship. In my cousin's in law's place, he doesn't have space to roam around and just sits in one corner lazing around, doing nothing, waiting to die while his days just pass by without incident.

And now, when i look at him, healthy as he might be, i can't help thinking that he only has about 5 years to live at the most. That his days are numbered. That when he goes (touch wood), he'll never have experienced all those things and he'll never have the same amount of attention that was showered on him during the first two years of his life. And, for the most part, we can't do anything about most of it. It's a depressing thought. And it seems that i'm full of such depressing thoughts. Maybe that's why keeping pets ultimately aren't for me.

. . .

2009-11-06T05:32:00.002+08:00

You know what? Arsenal should sign Patrick Vieira during the January transfer window to cover for Alex Song while he's at the African Cup of Nations.

Okay that was totally random. Time to go for a shower and watch a little Ookiku Furikabutte...which is this baseball sports/slice-of-life anime that i currently rate very highly. Tomorrow i'll have to start my hardcore studying (urgh help), and i'm also looking forward to my *er hem* package from the USA and seeing what my parents have brought back from Thailand!

It really sucks.

2009-11-04T02:56:00.004+08:00

You know...it really sucks when someone asks you for help, and you spend hours of your own time (with no benefit to yourself) talking about the problem with that person, and then the "help" becomes a heated debate because that person does not fully agree with or understand what you say, and then that person becomes exasperated and walks away without thanking you.

It's like the person has forgotten that he or she was the one who approached you in the first place. It's as if, by winning the debate or argument, you have somehow gained a benefit and no longer need the thanks. The person comes to you for help, then disagrees with your feedback, without recognising that the act of volunteering feedback - and of sacrificing all that time - in response to the request for help should itself be deserving of thanks.

Which really sucks.

Arsenal rocks, but Liverpool...kinda sucks...

2009-11-01T02:12:00.005+08:00

Today (or rather, last night), i watched two football (i.e. soccer) matches. Arsenal v Tottenham in full and Fulham v Liverpool until Fulham scored their second goal.

The Arsenal match went along smoothly as usual, although i'm starting to think that Arshavin is slipping in form a little bit, and Van Persie and Eduardo also missed a few sitters. Maybe Arshavin and Van Persie are getting tired? They've been playing practically every game, which is something that neither Van Persie (who's usually had plenty of "injury breaks") nor Arshanvin (formerly playing in the slack-ass Russian league) are used to. Eduardo hasn't played a regular match in a very long time too.

But Fabregas was amazing as usual. Lol my mum mispronounced his name as "Fibre-gahs" and both of us started laughing and saying "fibre glass" and stuff. Okay that was totally random. Oh and i don't think i'm the only person to have noticed, but Alex Song is really becoming a MASSIVE defensive midfielder; he was nipping Tottenham attacks at the bud for the whole match. His defensive work was owning Tottenham, and his distribution is pretty solid and consistent too.

As for Liverpool...amagad; i'm sorry to say this, but their squad really really sucks at the moment, especially in attack (their defence may suck too but i think it's just a loss of form...i'm still confident in the abilities of Mascherano, Agger, and Skrtel especially). And no, i'm not just reacting to their loss to Fulham. I've been thinking that way since they sold off Alonso and bought an injured Aquilani, and continued to think as such even after they beat Manchester United.

Torres is a football god (his goal today was kickass as well), but apart from Gerrard and maybe Benayoun, it seems like none of Liverpool's attacking players can compare.

None of them can be trusted to score consistently - Thomas Vermaelen, the Arsenal defender, seems to have more of a predatory instinct compared to Babel, Kuyt, Ngog, etc, etc, etc. None of them have enough pace - Babel was SUPPOSED to be fast (supposed to be the next Henry too) but i hardly see him outrun any defenders. All of them usually need plenty of touches to get the ball under control when they receive a pass - i saw this trait especially in Kuyt and Voronin - meaning that they have poor ball control overall.

And all this affects Liverpool's chances of winning. Because Torres (and to an extent, Benayoun) are the only first-teamers that can trusted to hit the target, defenders just need to focus on those two players whenever they get the ball; the marking on Torres by Fulham was especially tight. In fact, it seems like the other Liverpool players know how badly they shoot and they don't even attempt shots when they are under any kind of pressure, which makes it even more pathetic; Fulham park a bus in front of goal, and because the other players can't curl a shot over that wall, they miserably try to feed a through-ball to Torres which almost always gets cut out.

Because Liverpool's other attacking players lack pace, their attacks lack incisiveness. Because their players need a lot of touches to control the ball, it slows their attack by a lot and the opposing team can easily get back to defend.

Who is to blame? Well...i really can't think of anyone except for Rafa Benitez. A lot of people were flaming his decision to sub out Torres and Benayoun early, but that, to me, is hardly the problem. Benitez's signings have been really suspect; granted that some of them - like the Keane signing - were due to Rick Parry, a lot of them have proven to be duds. His purchase of Babel for 11.5 million pounds was pretty suspect, for one. So were all the millions he's spent on guys like Voronin, Morientes, Crouch, Bellamy, Pennant, Sissoko, Philip Degen (he signed a crappy Spanish fullback in the past as well, besides Arbeloa) Dossena, and Rieira (who is good, but currently not playing at all). It remains to be seen if the 20 million pounds spent on Aquilani is good money, too.

Compare all this to Manchester United's record for the past five years. I haven't really seen them make many signings of players that they end up selling after just one season to another club at a lower price. Either they keep the player until he becomes good, or they sell him off, mostly at a profit. They don't often have purchased rejects (at least since the Kleberson days...and even then, that's when they signed Cristiano Ronaldo); most of the rejects come from the youth academy - which i'd imagine would cost Manchester United less than the usual 5-10 million pounds a player that Benitez spends.

I don't even want to compare Benitez's record to Wenger because there'd be too many things to type. Let's just say that, within the current squad alone (ignoring past basement bargain talents like Henry, Vieira, Ljungberg, etc, etc, etc) i trust Fabregas and Van Persie to hit the target when it really matters. Walcott, Bendtner, Diaby, Denilson, Gallas, Nasri, Arshavin, Rosicky, Eduardo, and Vermaelen are all much more reliable than most of Liverpool's forwards as well - they won't scuff their shots too often (okay maybe i'm a bit optimistic about Bendtner...but he really IS getting better!). Vela, Ramsey, Wilshere and Merida also seem like exciting prospects. And the first seven and last four of the current players i mentioned cost Arsenal an average of about 2.5 million pounds each.

Other things might be blamed for the bad state of Liverpool FC as well.

Liverpool's coaching might be suspect. I haven't seen young players like Babel improve at all since arriving at Liverpool, and i get a feeling that the Liverpool coaches aren't very good at teaching their players how to shoot the ball.

Their tactics might be suspect too. I often see Liverpool forwards bringing the ball to the byline and crossing it into the box. Or their fullbacks, who're less ambitious than in other teams, would often carry the ball until somewhere before the penalty box before crossing it in. But...there's no one there to collect the crosses. Torres isn't exactly the tallest striker around, and with three defenders marking him, not to mention the usually giant goalkeeper, it's quite a tall task for him. Not only that, the other Liverpool forwards are short. Kuyt? Voronin? Please. I'm also not very confident of Kuyt's ability to head the ball, and this is the same for Babel, Ngog, etc, etc, etc.

I also often see Liverpool players passing the ball square to the other player directly, which i think slows their attack a lot since the other player would need to cushion the ball with a touch first and get it under control with another.

It's especially bad with forward passes...during the match earlier, i kept seeing players passing forward and square to forwards like Kuyt and Voronin, who would receive the ball with their backs to the goal. They would cushion the ball, and move a short distance away from the goal to control the ball. A Fulham player would come hounding after them, and they would be forced further back; every time they tried to pass the ball forward, they had to be forced back a bit. And because they could not look towards the direction of the goal, they could only dribble or pass back to a defender or occasionally right or left to someone else, meaning that the attack was always slow moving.

Arsenal and Manchester United players seem to pass it into space more often and let the receiving player run onto it, which i think speeds things up a lot (have you seen Fabregas's super curling pass???). But of course this could also be a question of technique; most of Arsenal's players need just one touch both to collect and control a direct, square pass anyway. Also, i do see Liverpool players sometimes using long range passes for the receiving player to run onto, except that, ever since the departure of Xabi Alonso, most of those long passes have gone wayward.

So, anyway, Liverpool are in a sad state, which is quite unfortunate for fans like my dad and Weiyu. I also feel for talented players like Torres and Gerrard who have to shoulder the club on their own without much reward. I might support Arsenal, but to be honest i feel quite bad for Liverpool's title drought. It'd be good for them to win one as well, for the sake of Gerrard and Torres, and to peg those arrogant United fans back and shut them up.

LOL if you didn't know that i am anti-Manure, this is the moment of truth...i totally detest Sir Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney hahaha! I also don't like Darren Fletcher, who seems to have discovered the accursed talent of being able to commit professional fouls without incurring a penalty or a card (or sometimes even the foul itself). I also think that Ferdinand is heavily overrated. I do, however, respect Vidic and Giggs.

Anyway, at the moment, the perfect season for me would be for Liverpool to win the EPL title and for Arsene Wenger to finally get his hands on the Champions League trophy.

And then after that, since Gerrard and Torres would be satisfied enough, Arsenal can win the EPL and Champions League titles for all the seasons after.

Risen?

2009-10-29T15:16:00.003+08:00

Anybody heard of that game? Risen, i mean. I believe it was reviewed on Digital Life on 28 October. I went to check it out on IGN. It seems like a mix of Elder Scrolls and...i dunno...something really old school? Like the first ever Monkey's Island?

Damn...Dragon Age: Origins is already coming out soon though, and the browser game Dragon Age Journeys is already out. I've got so little holiday time, and i don't want to be spending my entire holiday playing computer RPGs...but still, these kinds of awesome escapism are terribly hard to find...

Okay, time to go for CLT class! I wonder if Mr Szetoh is ponning it, that slacker...lol then again, maybe i should relax instead of taking notes like crazy too. That's one thing i hate about Dowdle's classes; he talks interesting stuff but quite a few of us never get to enjoy, listen and digest what he's saying because we're all overwhelmed with note-taking.

Life is boring.

2009-10-19T04:02:00.006+08:00

Gaaaahhh i'm really really damn bored...

Amagad it's horrible...i'm supposed to be studying my Company Law over the weekend, but because it's so damn boring - unless i chance upon an interesting case - i end up finding entertainment to pass my time after every paragraph i read.

Except...there's nothing to do! I've deleted Warcraft III, Puzzle Fighter, and Street Fighter Alpha 3 from my laptop (for the sake of removing distractions, although evidently i end up looking for other sources since law readings are just SOOO boring), so now i find myself playing games like Country Story and Naruto Shippuuden on Facebook and Chess Titans...stuff that i probably wouldn't touch during the holidays.

I end up reading random stuff on Facebook, reading articles (and even the dumbass comments) on Soccernet, and going to the Dragon Age home page in the hopes of seeing an update...all for the sake of escaping from the grim reality of that enormous mass of law readings and homework. Heck, i even just wrote a blog entry on Dragon Age!

Dragon Age Character Creator was supposed to occupy me for longer, but i'm done creating characters already! There's only so much time that i can spend fiddling around with chin heights and depths and nose tip depths, etc...so much for a worthwhile distraction.

Sigh, on the whole, i have nothing much to look forward to, apart from readings and more boring readings. It's like...i dunno. The exams are on the horizon again, and when i get home...there really isn't anything fun or relaxing waiting for me there. Unlike most people, i don't really have that much of an attachment to my bed. I've got my laptop, my PS2, and i just fixed my computer, so there's a whole lot of fun waiting for me, but my conscience is preventing me from starting a new game or starting a new anime series, since i'm at the tail end of my school term. And every time i play anything, i just don't enjoy it (and every time i sit down to read my law stuff, i fall asleep. :|).

Anyway, i need a solution. Not to the problem of not having enough entertainment, but to the problem of needing that entertainment in the first place. Though i wish law was still - for me - something fun, like back when i was searching the internet for laws on intellectual property rights when i was in NS, or during my first lecture on Tort law and Contract law, when lectures weren't just all about note-taking ordeals.

Bleah.

Dragon Age...Criticisms!!!

2009-10-19T02:35:00.006+08:00

I've been fiddling around with the Dragon Age Character Creator for a few of hours over the weekend. Dragon Age is, well...you should just do a search and find out what it is lah. Go find out before coming back to read the rest of this post...and this only applies to people who like single player computer RPGs or have played games like Baldur's Gate 2 and Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and would know what i'm talking about.

Anyway, i've got a criticism of the Character Creator...why are there so few customisation options available??? The game creators kept boasting about how the Character Creator would be so great, but i'm sorely disappointed...in terms of customisation, Elders Scrolls 4: Oblivion was better, even though that game came out nearly 4 years ago, when the NVIDIA 7800GT graphic card just got released onto the Singapore market. Oblivion had so many more options...one example would be the option to alter the length of hair, which allowed gamers to obtain precisely the look they wanted for their characters.

On the other hand, Dragon Age gives male characters only about 10 FIXED hair styles...and all of them are ugly!!! They're either bald, G.I. Joe, tribal themed, or medieval English themed. I know the Dragon Age world is backwards, but why can't i have a character with a more modern hairstyle? Or is it simply because the people at Bioware have no sense of style??? I want a character with a long fringe, and i don't want the fringe tied back! Haven't the game creators ever heard of the new age Japanese hairstyles??? Haven't the game creators played Final Fantasy or ANY Japanese RPGs???

Sigh, i should have expected this disappointment though...Bioware kept talking about how Neverwinter Nights 2 and Mass Effect would have great customisation options, but both options sucked big time DESPITE being released after Oblivion. In Oblivion, i could easily create a character (without using any presets) who looked very much like Squall from FFVIII, while in Dragon Age, i can't even make my character's FACE (nevermind the hair) look like Zack from FFVII when i'm referring to his pictures on my laptop while creating the character on my desktop.

Heck, i can't even make a character who doesn't look like some medieval peasant/barbarian/noble or some US Army jock or some Australian Aborigine or some Native American. Sigh, doesn't Bioware understand that we want our main characters to look GOOD??? So many of the options give rise to characters with troll/ogre-like noses and chins and freaked out facial features in general...what's up with that?

On the contrary, female characters have a bit more options and they LOOK better too...for example, i can easily make an attractive female character who looks about 18-20 years old, while the potential male characters on Dragon Age all seem to have a minimum age of 30. Doesn't Bioware know that most of the players will probably be guys, and most of them AREN'T the type who would create female characters and have them make out with male NPCs???

In addition to the Character Creator part, i've got a few concerns as well...

One that i can remember, is the choice of NPCs.

First, there are too few NPCs. For most races, there is only one NPC to recruit, and there are much fewer races in Dragon Age as compared to Baldur's Gate 2. I also think it detracts from the open-endedness of the game a bit when the NPCs are already announced to us way beforehand. This, of course, stems from the problems of over-hyping any game and revealing too much. So now, i won't have a scenario where this person unexpectedly joins my team; i would have seen it coming a long time ago, and would have taken steps not to kill him off, etc.

Also, nearly all the NPCs are outstanding talents in their respective fields...why can't my teammates be normal dudes? Like i want the fifth best healer and just another of the witches to join my team, not the best healer ever known and the daughter of some legendary witch. I'd want my teammates to make a name for themselves under my influence; i'd rather have a group of adventurers starting out small and later joining the big league, instead of having some walking VIP circus troupe. What's the point of leveling up? To be able to start out small first and later become demigods both in skill AND in NAME. Right?

The NPC choices are also too varied, in a way. Given that there are so few NPCs to choose from, why spread them out and give every race a representation? I understand that Bioware might think that we want to try out every race, etc, but it also increases the feeling that this game isn't as open-ended as it seems - like the game's path was already all planned out for you. You have so few NPCs, and - just nice - each race has one! Except for the human race; humans are special, so we will give you one choice per class...one white mage, one black mage, one assassin, and one sword fighter! You don't get players with similar races and similar roles in the team (for eg. Imoen and Nalia, and Minsc, Keldorn, Anomen and Sarevok in BG2), where you could choose who you wanted based SOLELY on who looked better and whose personality you liked, etc.

I probably sound like i'm nitpicking here, BUT Dragon Age is supposed to be - for an open-ended single player fantasy RPG fan like me - the greatest game ever made. So i've got high hopes for it...and exacting standards come with those high hopes! I hope the game itself would alleviate some of my concerns...although my concerns of the Character Creator have certainly been realised. -.-

Rodent attack!

2009-10-01T09:14:00.006+08:00

The school is becoming more and more unhygienic. Jialat. Almost dangerously so. First, there was this huge rat lurking outside one of the classrooms on the first floor; then there was that maggot in my lunch, and today, i saw a small rat in the gym. When i came into the gym at 7.45am today, it scampered underneath one of the treadmills. I could even bend my head below, look underneath the treadmill (from a distance of course) and say hi to it.

Back in the army, i had a lot of experience with rats. There was this rat which stole tissue paper from my bedside chair over a period of time and made a nest with it below my bed. And i only discovered the nest a few months later; guess that's punishment for not doing a thorough area cleaning. I always wondered why my mucus-filled tissue paper kept disappearing from my chair the next morning, nearly every day. The whole time, i thought the fan/wind was blowing my mucus-filled tissue out the window or something. ^_^" Back in signal school, we'd also get rats sneaking into our lockers (despite there being a lock!!!) and tearing up our milo 3-in-1 packets and biting into our toothpaste.

The point of my last statement is that these rats can sneak into really tight spaces VERY EASILY. It's like they're all meat and fat and organs and no bones, so they can flatten their bodies like crazy if they need to. Meaning they can sneak into our classrooms. They can sneak into the gym and hide in all those smelly shoes that people dump into the shelf cubicles.

AND they can sneak into the lounge. As every NUS law student should know, the lounge is a very fun place. It is ALSO a very dusty and messy (and i'd daresay dirty) place, and the carpeted floors and cushions and the flaps covering the space below the cloth/wool sofas make for good hiding places...for rats.

Gulp. I'm not even going to bother looking below the sofas. Unfortunately, as quite a few law students know, there's this year 2 called Gregory who likes to take power naps in the lounge when he's short on sleep...yikes. :|

But ahwell. To be honest, i'm quite used to sleeping among rats already. I had more than a year of that, after all. I'm just being a little dramatic because, otherwise, i really have nothing else to write. But i AM quite worried that those rats would sneak into my bags while i sleep and nibble into my tissue paper, my notes, my computer power cables, etc...just like those rats did with my iPod charger cable back in army.

...I'm still using that charger cable though. 0_o

Really, really, ridiculously...

2009-09-29T11:18:00.000+08:00

I've just realised today that members of the opposite sex tend to look at you more when you dress up and put on contacts, etc. Common sense, i know, but it's just damn amusing to realise it for the first time.

Or wait...maybe it's just that i look so much different since i've been wearing specs and dressing in a heck-care manner for the past few weeks.

Or maybe they were aiming glances at something else the whole time. XD

School un-success.

2009-09-19T18:33:00.002+08:00

Hmm. I think i need to start finding out what kind of jobs i can do with a law degree. I find it hard to be motivated when i'm in a field where i'm not at the front of the pack, or even worse, somewhere in the middle of the rear half of the rat-race.

Which seems to be the case at the moment. I like to think that i'm very good at philosophy, creative thinking, and abstract thinking. But law does not really require much of that. Or at least law school does not. I consistently do well at "bullshitting subjects" like SLS and Legal Theory, but not at the rest.

I used to think i could do much better in law. But it's only after my first year that i realised what a small fish i am. Because the traits that i have don't help much when i'm someone who takes 5 minutes to read a page of my CLT readings, who cannot study for more than 10 minutes at a time before losing focus, and who cannot listen to the lecturer talk and take notes at the same time because, while i'm typing, i can't focus on what he's saying. Maybe i needs to attend workshops to help me acquire these skills.

When i went to law school, i realised that there are a lot of people there with special talents that you don't notice at first. There are people who can speed read pages of complex articles and digest everything. There are people who seem really quiet and shy, only for you to discover that they are experienced school debaters with great skill at impromptu speaking under pressure. There are people who can listen to the lecturer and type down notes at 100+ words per minute at the same time. There are people who can look at the confusing mess of a syllabus and organise a great study plan. There are disciplined people who can play hard for one hour and immediately get into study mode for the next hour. There are people who are so thick-skinned that they can get ready-made essays from their seniors to copy wholesale during open-book exams. There are people who can quickly make friends with professors and who are masters at making conversation. There are people who seem simple or who talk in all sorts of Singlish accents but still write so beautifully.

For those who intend to go law school, or who are interested in taking law, let me tell you this: hard work triumphs over intelligence. You're going to have to read TONS when you enter law school, so people with a lot of physical and mental tolerance tend to do better. It helps if you have a habit of reading as well. If you're still in the habit of reading one novel a day, then good for you (beware of losing the reading habit, soldiers!). And among the hard workers, if you want a rough gauge of how well you're going to do in law school, look no further than at your English scores; in particular, your summary and comprehension sections. Being good at narratives might not be a good thing. Failing at Math all the time does not preclude you from the Dean's List. Literature students do better than most.

Maybe i'm giving up early when i say that i'm probably going to get a 2nd lower honours degree when i graduate. I could practise law in a normal firm, but i'm unsure if i could go far in that field. I'm confident of having a good working relationship in my colleagues, but i can picture myself getting tongue-tied every time i have to say something impromptu to a judge or even to a client.

So, well, i think it's time i started looking into alternative job opportunities. It doesn't have to be something that is not law-related; it could still be related to a particular law topic that i'm interested in. I dunno.

Or i could just keep mugging.

Goddammit i'm bleeding cash.

2009-09-19T17:34:00.003+08:00

My mahjong luck is DAMN BAD. Amagad. I've played four or five times in the past few months and i've lost close to $100 already. Maybe even more. I've lost $55 from the last two times. Even worse, the odds i've been playing are really small; 20-40cents the 2nd last time and 10-20cents today (although today's paying system is different because the money doubles until SIX tai and then another one dollar each is added for 7 tai and 8 tai). Which means i've been losing VERY HEAVILY at CASUAL mahjong.

The thing is, i haven't been able to win any mahjong games with 4 tai and above. When i play smaller than that, i win quite often, but then another player just gets really big one and wipes out all my earnings, and then some. Part of me thinks it's the way i play, and part of me thinks it's just dumb luck. Horrible dumb luck. Like today, i did not get a single cat-mouse/rooster-caterpiller/2 relevant flower combination (for that extra small change) AT ALL, while i had to pay out like $3 worth to the other 3 players, who at least got their flowers and animals at a decent rate. And i only gang-ed once, despite playing pung-pung pretty often. I managed to win over $200 in a single day during Chinese New Year, so maybe it's just that i'm at the lower amplitudes of my luck-wave.

But the worst thing of all is that i've been taking money every now and then from my mum and relying on others. After deciding to be more financially independent after JC, my plans have sidetracked quite considerably. First, there was that car accident which wiped out the money i would have received from that investment deal i have with my dad. Then, during the holidays, i took charge of Rag instead of getting a temporary job, so i incurred a significant opportunity cost, not to mention the transport fees and miscellaneous stuff. And then there are the mahjong losses which adds to the amount i'm regularly bleeding away on food.

I haven't been buying any new clothes, any new electronic gadgets/fun stuff (apart from pre-ordering Dragon Age Origins) and still my expenditure has been rising. The only thing that's keeping me afloat, is that my mother has been slipping me small change occasionally - $50 to $100 every month or so - saying that it's to reimburse me for the food that i buy (which she says she's supposed to compensate, although i disagree), and my dad (via my credit card) has been paying for my petrol (my mum gives the excuse that Citibank gets a further discount at Esso). My mum also reimburses me for everything that i spend on the family (like when i buy back snacks for the family and stuff), which kinda defeats the purpose of why i do it in the first place.

In the past, i would object vehemently and insist that i pay for my own stuff. I'd take pride in my independence. But now, i find it hard to resist the money when my mother "reimburses" me. I haven't given a treat to Coco in a long while; we keep going dutch.

I know, i know, i have great parents, a great family, and a great girlfriend. But i can't help but feel that my morality is disappearing like the superficial imagery it has always been. I like to think that i'm a generous guy, but maybe it's just that i have the money to be generous. Maybe i shouldn't judge people for being selfish with their money or thick-skinned when they insist that their parents have a duty to give them pocket change. Because maybe, if i myself were penniless and had no savings, i'd be the most selfish person on earth.

New tagboard!

2009-09-17T22:32:00.003+08:00

Okay, i've installed a new tagboard.

Flooble had been quite screwed up for me for the past few years...for one thing, i don't think they've gotten any additional servers! So over the years, people had trouble posting stuff on my board, people had to post the same message twice in quick succession just so their message could appear on my tagboard ONCE, AND i never even bothered personalising my tagboard because the home page was so slow (thanks to flooble never upgrading their servers).

And it seemed that my chatterbox was down again. So i've gotten a new tagboard from ShoutMix. So far it seems pretty user-friendly. Makes me wonder how bad my inertia is, that i didn't change my tagboard after all that trouble i've had...

If you're wondering how i selected ShoutMix out of all those tagboard services offered online, well...i just typed tagboard on google, opened the first 5 links i saw, shortlisted the two homepages that loaded the fastest (www.shoutmix.com and tag-board.com) and then picked the neater looking tagboard service!

Okay anyway i've gotta get back to work. Ahhh property law is so troublesome. I think i've learnt a lot, but one week later i've forgotten everything.

Should be..?

2009-09-15T07:20:00.008+08:00

I know a man called B. In the past, my friends and i found it very amusing how much B smoked...smoked, meaning that he would pretend that he knew something "for sure" when the chances of him being right were only like...80%. Or less. His most famous phrase was "should be", a phrase he'd attach to wild theories that had a bare chance of being true. "Should be" was like a mask for his lack of real knowledge, and you were screwed big time if you believed what he had said "should be" the case (although i must admit that it sometimes made sense).

Now, i'm bringing this up because i find that, in law school, i'm using "should be" a lot, myself. The law should be this, the law should be that. I.e., the law is probably like this at the moment, but it ought to be that. It sounds a bit Positivist, but it seems like we cannot escape from this kind of reasoning during our non-Legal Theory classes.

So the law is so uncertain, that the most i can say is that the law "should be" this, and that A is "likely" to have equitable rights in B's property. This legal uncertainty is like a reflection of our own moral uncertainties, however, and given that we'll probably NEVER find two people who can agree on what's right and what's wrong for everything under the sun, legal uncertainty is here to stay.

But still, i wish i wasn't stuck saying "should be" all the time. It makes me feel like i have only a 20% chance of being correct.

Ahwell...law school is so shitty at the moment. The work is pretty easy, but everyone in my batch is working so damn hard, that i'll probably get shitty grades again come the end of the year. Very demoralising. Shitty grades, that is.

It's like, if we were just given a fixed amount of marks for naming the right case that applies and applying the case correctly, everyone would be getting A1 for their papers (if A1 is 75% of the maximum score). But instead, our grades are compared to everyone else's, meaning a few people are going to get As, and those who beat the system, but couldn't beat their friends, will get Bs and Cs. This is quite unlike UK's system, or so i hear. At this rate, i'm NEVER going to get 2nd Upper.

On another note, i've discovered the secret to getting a summit lot in school! Summit lots, btw, are the carpark lots that are the closest to the school building.

Ahaha...it's easy; just reach school before 7.15am! Lol...i hope no one was disappointed with the "secret". Probably no one was disappointed since no one reads this blog anyway. :|

Should be lah. :|

Ok well, enough slacking; it's time to start on my company tutorial!

DAMN SAD.

2009-09-06T16:13:00.008+08:00

Damn sad. I plucked this article from MSNBC (but i first heard about this story from my sister). Here's the actual link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22902512 (please don't publish this story or sell it off...you know what i mean; it's pretty old news anyway).

Appreciate your chocolate chip cookies the next time you eat them! And make sure you finish all the crumbs! Heck, be sure to appreciate ALL the food on your plate! >.<

Haiti’s poor resort to eating mud as prices rise
Cookies made of dried yellow dirt become sustenance, livelihood, concern

ASSOCIATED PRESS
updated 6:43 p.m. ET Jan. 29, 2008

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - It was lunchtime in one of Haiti's worst slums and Charlene Dumas was eating mud.

With food prices rising, Haiti's poorest can't afford even a daily plate of rice, and some take desperate measures to fill their bellies.

Charlene, 16 with a 1-month-old son, has come to rely on a traditional Haitian remedy for hunger pangs: cookies made of dried yellow dirt from the country's central plateau.

The mud has long been prized by pregnant women and children here as an antacid and source of calcium. But in places like Cite Soleil, the oceanside slum where Charlene shares a two-room house with her baby, five siblings and two unemployed parents, cookies made of dirt, salt and vegetable shortening have become a regular meal.

"When my mother does not cook anything, I have to eat them three times a day," Dumas said. Her baby, named Woodson, lay still across her lap, looking even thinner than the 6 pounds, 3 ounces he weighed at birth.

Though she likes their buttery, salty taste, Charlene said the cookies also give her stomach pains. "When I nurse, the baby sometimes seems colicky too," she said.

States of emergency
Food prices around the world have spiked because of higher oil prices, needed for fertilizer, irrigation and transportation. Prices for basic ingredients such as corn and wheat are also up sharply, and the increasing global demand for biofuels is pressuring food markets as well.

The problem is particularly dire in the Caribbean, where island nations depend on imports and food prices are up 40 percent in places.

The global price hikes, together with floods and crop damage from the 2007 hurricane season, prompted the U.N. Food and Agriculture Agency to declare states of emergency in Haiti and several other Caribbean countries.

Caribbean leaders held an emergency summit in December to discuss cutting food taxes and creating large regional farms to reduce dependence on imports.

Dirt cookies become bargains
At the market in the La Saline slum, two cups of rice now sell for 60 cents, up 10 cents from December and 50 percent from a year ago. Beans, condensed milk and fruit have gone up at a similar rate, and even the price of the edible clay has risen over the past year by almost $1.50. Dirt to make 100 cookies now costs $5, the cookie makers say.

Still, at about 5 cents apiece, the cookies are a bargain compared to food staples. About 80 percent of people in Haiti live on less than $2 a day and a tiny elite controls the economy.

Merchants truck the dirt from the central town of Hinche to the La Saline market, a maze of tables of vegetables and meat swarming with flies. Women buy the dirt, then process it into mud cookies in places such as Fort Dimanche, a nearby shanty town.

Carrying buckets of dirt and water up ladders to the roof of the former prison for which the slum is named, they strain out rocks and clumps on a sheet, and stir in shortening and salt. Then they pat the mixture into mud cookies and leave them to dry under the scorching sun.

The finished cookies are carried in buckets to markets or sold on the streets.

An unpleasant taste
A reporter sampling a cookie found that it had a smooth consistency and sucked all the moisture out of the mouth as soon as it touched the tongue. For hours, an unpleasant taste of dirt lingered.

Assessments of the health effects are mixed. Dirt can contain deadly parasites or toxins, but it can also strengthen the immunity of fetuses in the womb to certain diseases, said Gerald N. Callahan, an immunology professor at Colorado State University who has studied geophagy, the scientific name for dirt-eating.

Haitian doctors say depending on the cookies for sustenance risks malnutrition.

"Trust me, if I see someone eating those cookies, I will discourage it," said Dr. Gabriel Thimothee, executive director of Haiti's health ministry.

Marie Noel, 40, sells the cookies in a market to provide for her seven children. Her family also eats them.

"I'm hoping one day I'll have enough food to eat, so I can stop eating these," she said. "I know it's not good for me."

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Bleah.

2009-08-10T02:33:00.002+08:00

I'm secretly a little depressed. Not being really close to either group despite all that time, money, and effort - all spent in good faith without any credit-grabbing; myself and especially those extra-hard workers doing all that shit and not getting recognised at all and not enjoying the fun or pats on the back or feeling any post-event euphoria afterwards; having to pretend that all is good because it's either me handling this on my own or it's people patronising me and making me feel like a kid, which i largely detest.

Meanwhile, a particular person keeps reminding me of all of the above without realising it, there's still lots of event-related work to do for myself and for one of those extra-hard workers, and the school term gets ever closer...it just feels like i've been wasting lots of time, and i'm now staring into the distance at all those missed opportunities, wondering what would happen if things had been a little different. I feel kinda like a father who spends lots of time and money completely in the background, but the kids are all much closer to the mother who spends time with the kids, nurturing them. So i suppose i'll have to get used to this kind of feeling, if i ever want to be a good future dad. I'm starting to understand why my mum has been reminding us repeatedly how hard my dad works, and why my dad occasionally complains about his work in a way that makes it sound like he's working very hard (and maybe he is); otherwise, it would seem as if his sacrifice for us never existed.

My matric-week band performance was the highlight of my holidays, though. My singing was just so-so on that day, but the reviews were very encouraging. It's weird how having jamming sessions once a week for a few months can improve my morale and my spirit so much. Really have to thank those guys who gave me the chance to prove myself.

Although...well...if i'm a little cynical, i'd say that i'm not in the position to derive any tangible benefit from that performance, anyway.

Bleah.

Law Rag 09 is over.

2009-08-09T09:01:00.009+08:00

Phew, Rag 2009's finally over!

Before i continue, i'd like to thank everyone for the help and hard work they've given to Rag 09! "Everyone" includes: the float team (joyce cheryl josiah changxian erik natalie shenxiong cj), the costumes team (alaris carene weilin sarah mie clarissa valerie ian and all related members), the dance heads (coco wanchee sien cara weihan), the stunt heads(yeehow JY david), my treasurers (mie charmaine) and secretary/vice chair (terence sZeToH...who also helped out in multiple teams), the money sources (frank alvin ben hanqun [and hanqun's dad]), the ogls (who helped to pull in freshies to join rag), NUSSU (in particular kenny yauluong and lizhen) the freshmen who were in dance and float (and who were, as usual, the biggest stars of the whole event), and those who helped out in a multitude of ways (bing, haojin zhiwen zuzhao timotheus razali ms goh [the vice dean] mingkai [and mingkai's father] zee eugene ian kayhian dot navin alcina terence shaorong the dance seniors and my own mother).

Rag 09 was a success, because although we did not win an award, it was agreed unanimously that the dance element (in particular the dance and stunts choreography and the neatness of the freshies) and the costumes designs were a great improvement over last year! And our float was finally a REAL float, with "no lorry in sight"! And the official Rag 09 spending was over $1000 less than last year! So thank you everyone! :):):) (i probably have to send out an actual email to everyone though...since no one actually reads this blog nowadays. and organise a thank-you party of course. hmm.)

Well anyway, that's the end of all that communication with NUSSU, Law IV and the school authorities about submissions, venue bookings, etc. Phew!

BUT i still have to submit a super long report to FOCC *gaaah*. And i've also got to settle the return of the float lorry and training mats.

Ahwell but i'm going to leave that to later. Just went for 60hrs without sleep because of Rag (lol i ended up sleeping for 13 hours when i got home...totally missed law bash though...haiz). And i survived for two days on a few biscuits, two cans of coke, two cans of coffee, one can of red bull, a few cups of 100 plus, H-Two-O, soya bean milk, and lots of water. Ate a small bowl of oats when i got back home (before sleeping), but NOW i'm very hungry. And probably thinner and sunburnt all over the place. So it's time to relax (before starting on my law readings...heard there's some stuff to read before school starts on tuesday...:|)! I'm going to hand in my FOCC submission late. Mark my words! XD

The wedding's over!

2009-07-13T01:07:00.005+08:00

Damn, i watched "I Love You Man" recently, and i kinda realise that i'm quite a lot like the main character! Like i have some good guy friends, but i don't call or hang out with any of them very very regularly (i.e. at least once a week), except for proximity friends like my university schoolmates. And my best friends are probably Coco...and my mum. :| Quite a lot like the main character. Ohwell. But at least i don't say weird things like he does, and i'm definitely not a prude as well.

Anyway, Rag 09 has been going smoothly...well, sorta. It's more like sea waves; the waves go smoothly in one direction, but there're still a lot of ups and downs. :\ The experience has taught me a lot, though...for example, i have now borrowed a lorry, driven a lorry, and i've become a lot more thick-skinned than i used to be. Like i'm now more able to ask people direct questions when i have issues, without over-worrying that the other person might get mad or feel offended. If i couldn't do that, i couldn't do my job properly at all. There's nothing like a little necessity to aid in self-improvement. XD

Oh yeah, and big news: MY SISTER GOT MARRIED ON SATURDAY. Oh my, time really flies. The wedding was yesterday, and like a typical hokkien wedding, there was the "house-breaking" in the morning and the wedding dinner at night, with the YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHM SENNGG and all that stuff. I was the MC of the night, along with my new sister-in law (i.e. my sister's husband's sister). Think i did OK...kinda disappointed with the singing though (yes, i had to perform a duet and a solo), and i wish i had practised a little bit more so that i didn't need to refer to my script as much as i did. Crap, someone even told my dad that i look better than i sang! He told me that it was meant to be a compliment, but i'm not too sure. Aaaahhhhh...apparently i should have picked a song which allows me to sing at a higher note, or at least push my own song up 1 key.

Oh, and there's currently a lot of issues that i probably shouldn't mention...ahwell, occasionally i do think our family's a little bit too generous, but it's this one quality (and a few more) that makes my family better than most.

Okay, time to go to bed...i'm waking up early later on to shoot some hoops and go to the gym before the Rag session starts!

PS: Persona 4 was AWESOME. Crisis Core was good too (LOL, i haven't posted for so long that i've forgotten whether i've already endorsed the game or not.) Also, read the Eyeshield 21 and Vagabond manga if you haven't already!!! And one last thing...I DID NOT MANAGE TO GO TO THIS YEAR'S COSFEST...THE WEDDING TOOK UP THE WHOLE SATURDAY AND THEN I WOKE UP LATE ON SUNDAY AND HAD TO GO JAMMING, AND HAD TO GO OUT AND BUY A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR DORINDA AFTER THAT...SIGH, ANIME HAS BECOME SUCH A LOW PRIORITY FOR ME THAT I DON'T DESERVE TO CALL MYSELF AN OTAKU ANYMORE...

...eh, not that it's a bad thing, right? Well...maybe.

Sigh.

2009-05-30T00:51:00.001+08:00

What an awfully depressing day.

Bad luck with electronic devices still.

2009-05-14T20:54:00.002+08:00

My friend lends me his PSP that he has been using for (i suppose) quite a long time. I play it for three days without mistreating it or whatever, and during the next morning, on the fourth day, the PSP runs out of battery because it turns out that the charger was spoilt, so i didn't actually charge the PSP the night before.

I go to a video game shop the day after i return to Singapore from Redang and buy another charger. I drive back home, plug the charger into the power socket and turn it on, and my house suffers a blackout. :|

Sometimes, i think there's something in my genetic code that causes me to release electromagnetic waves from my skin which are toxic to electronic devices. Erps.

Exams are over!

2009-05-14T03:22:00.007+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!

The study "break" was such a killer; i wonder if i'm ever going to get over the nightmares i've been having of the semester 2 study period and the exams. Oh my, i'm totally not made for this. Anyway, it appears that my blog has died in the midst of the exams. Ohwell. What to do. I wonder if resuscitation is remotely possible.

Lots of things have happened over this past semester...like the cursed LAWR moots and memorials, Valentine's Day, my computer failing, Eyeshield 21, exams exams exams...

Actually, apart from Eyeshield 21 and Valentine's Day, i can't think of any event in the last semester that was good (Eyeshield 21, by the way, is a great Japanese anime/manga about American Football). At the moment at least. Sigh...i really hated the past few months.

Well, all that is over! For the next three months at least. Of course, i'll try to do a bit of reading up in my spare time, but it's pretty inefficient to study for days and months before lessons even begin, just so it can save some hours during the study break (Since you're bound to forget nearly everything by the time school's over and the next study break begins). People might say that those few hours can make a LOT of difference, and indeed i think that there is much sense in such a way of thinking, but i've also come to realise that burning out is not just an excuse...IT REALLY HAPPENS. So there really is no point wasting weeks to save those few hours later on if you start school with zero energy and with a feeling of pure jealousy that other people in school seem to have fully enjoyed their holiday while your own "enjoyment" had consisted of half-f*ck neither-here-nor-there guilt-filled recreation.

Some people seem to be able to avoid the burnout effortlessly, but i don't think i have that kind of tolerance. Call me a slacker or whatever - i don't care.

In any case, i'm not even sure if i have much spare time during this summer break. Just take a look at my recreation/work list:

Recreation:
Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (PSP)
Persona 4 (PS2)
Fallout 3 (PC)
ALL my anime/manga backlot
Basketball
Mahjong..?
Time with Coco

Work:
Law Orientation 2009!!! (i'm Rag chairperson...this is gonna take up the bulk of my holidays i fear...)
Fixing my desktop
Fixing Terence's PSP (SIGH i swear that i have no idea why the PSP suddenly can't charge anymore...)
Physical conditioning (bulking up)

Okay, well, to an extent, Law Orientation is SUPPOSED to be a very fun time, so i should continue with this sad state of self deceit. And physical conditioning is actually pretty fun LOL. I'm not exactly into BODY-BUILDING and stuff like that, but there IS something enjoyable about watching my diet and doing weights regularly and watching the muscles grow. HAHAHA okay fine, i'm just a vain narcissist - i don't care.

I hope i still have some time to sleep. Speaking of sleep, i'd better go sleep now. I'm planning to fix my two faulty devices tomorrow...hopefully everything will go smoothly!

Oh, by the way, i just came back from Redang, Malaysia on a Rag 08 twenty-five-member holiday! It was pretty fun, and the snorkeling was decent, although - as usual - the hotel room was slightly below the proper standard. I'm not sure if it's because Malaysian hotels are all bad. But still, Genting's four-star hotel had some kind of cockroach infestation the last time i went there, and this five-star resort in Redang seemed more like a glorified motel. And the toilet conditions themselves were at about the same level as a simple chalet. I saw flies. And small jumping spiders. Shavers, shaving cream, toothbrush and toothpaste were all not provided, and the soap and shampoo weren't all that great (a bit too particular i know, but still, you'd expect much more from five-stars). The food, although pretty good, was nothing to brag about, the swimming pool was pretty crowded all the time, the massage parlour was quite expensive (at RM120 for one hour's massage) and the water boiler they provided us was RUSTY.

Still, no cockroach infestation. And for that i am grateful. Anyway...i did say i was going to sleep, right.

Food cravings to stem the tide of stress.

2009-03-24T03:50:00.003+08:00

Sigh. I really have nothing much in life to look forward to at the moment. It's just more work in school, more work at home, and more work on the weekends. The workload's endless. And it doesn't help that so many people seem to understand the law better than me...at least for LAWR. And it doesn't help that i haven't been taking notes for Legal Theory and am filled with dread when the open book test comes about and i come into the examination room with just the original materials in its unaltered glory. And it also doesn't help that i've been neglecting Criminal Law and Contract Law except on the day before seminars and tutorials.

I can't think of anything in the near future that i could do to stuff some enjoyment into my life and break the monotony and dreariness of law school, because it'll just take far too much time and i always feel guilty afterwards.

Well...except for food i suppose. I'm starting to realise that i, too, can succumb to food cravings. Lol. It's mostly fast food cravings, but all in all, when i'm feeling totally stressed out in school, i'd think of going somewhere to buy something nice to eat, which would at least make me look forward to SOMETHING for the day. Lacking that, i'd just look forward to dinner, because at least dinner's a period where i'm not obliged to study or do any work or research. And when i'm totally stressed out at home at night, i'd set aside a little time to go out of the house to get a hot crispy chicken pie from Polar or something...which would make the night of work a little more tolerable and fun.

The plan for tonight (meaning yesterday night since it's nearly 4AM now) was supposed to be McDonald's Delivery...i've been having a burger craving for some time because of school stress...it started with an urgent need for a HotShots Burger that couldn't be fully satisfied with a trip to Carls Jr when i went down to Lau Par Sat with Coco only to realise that HotShots was closed. I was looking forward to getting a plain double-cheeseburger or something like that tonight, but i decided somehow to finish at least a third of my Legal Theory readings first, and i then made the call to McDonald's Delivery at 3:48AM...and it turns out that they stop delivering dinner at 3:45AM so, because i was 3 minutes late, i can only order breakfast.

What the. I never knew that the dinner delivery stopped at 3:45AM. Argh. So much for a nice break from work. But i suppose that the illusion of getting a cheeseburger later on served its purpose of helping me get through the day yesterday. Oh my freaking goodness, now i'm employing strategies to trick myself into feeling better...

Sigh. All this talk about food...if i keep up this sort of lifestyle, there's a slim possibility that i might get fat somewhere down the road. Well. Anyway, my stomach's growling, and i'm not in the mood to make anything at the moment. I guess i'll just go guzzle some milk.

Again.

Small update.

2009-03-16T18:25:00.004+08:00

Hmm, okay, i'll just spend a few minutes on this.

What's been going on in my life:

My printer woes continue: Not long after i praised my Canon printer, it went bust. The problems started off with the paper unable to load in, and after i fixed that problem, the print head burnt out. So in the end, i had to buy a new printer. :\ Sigh ahwell, at least that printer lasted a few years. I'm installing the new printer now actually. Sigh it's quite a waste of time though...time better spent on Legal Theory!

I had a few house parties over the holidays: Yep, holidays; i had a one week break errr 3 weeks ago. During this period of time i played some poker, studied Criminal Law and tried making certain foods and learnt about this awesome card game called Citadel.

I had two weeks of hell: a Criminal Law take-home assignment and another LAWR memorial to hand in ensured that my two weeks immediately after the holidays were just plain horrible. I banned myself from all games except for Phoenix Wright (meaning i threw my Puzzle Fighter, Chess, and Street Fighter Alpha 3 hobbies out the window) and still had to skip two lectures and a seminar just to complete my work on time. On the second last day of that two week hell, Coco suddenly noticed that i had sprouted a few strands of white hair from out of nowhere.

Sigh...the LAWR workload is just too much. It's only a four credit course, but people are spending more time on it than any other course, and i blame it on the competitiveness in Law School and the fact that our LAWR tutors keep giving us assignments and homework as if their subject's the only subject we have to do any work for. Which is rather true...the work for the other subjects don't count for our final grade. Still, i'd like to have less homework so that i could prepare for class and stuff like that...i get a feeling that i'm slowly falling behind on the other subjects, and i'm only going to realise it when the exams come around...sigh maybe i should stop worrying...there're only so many hairs to turn white. Oh well, time to enjoy the one week reverie before work speeds up again.

Oh yeah and i tried to make kimchi and beer-battered fish and chips: Kimchi turned out to be too salty, and beer-battered fish and chips tasted different...i think the oil used was wrong, because i could still taste it after the deep-frying. Maybe i should fry my french fries first before frying the fish in the future.

Anyway, i've gotta end here; people are chasing me down for dinner.

Printer woes

2009-02-15T16:03:00.001+08:00

Erps...i think it's more or less confirmed...

...I've definitely lost my pencil case. Gaahh wtf.

Time to go shopping once again. I'll need to especially make a personal selection for my red pen...this red pen is of particular importance, because of reasons best known to myself and one other. Lol.

Oh, and errr i'm very grateful to my uncle for giving me an inkjet printer last year that i could use in my room, instead of having to drag my laptop out and plug it into the one outside every time i had to print important documents.

I have to say though (and it must be noted that my uncle won this printer in some draw and did not choose this printer model for me) that HP printers are HORRIBLE. Don't ever get one of these. Sorry Hewlett Packard, but my experience so far with this printer of yours is well...quite unsatisfactory. I'm sticking to Canon, next time.

Firstly, the ink for this Hewlett Packard F2235 gets used up VERY quickly, compared to my Canon Pixma iP3000, i.e. the family printer that sits outside my room. The last time, i only printed around 80 odd pages before the ink had to be replaced. I'm pretty sure my Canon Pixma can do better, from my past experiences. I've had to switch to low-quality printing already for my HP printer, or else i'd cringe at the loss of ink for every page i printed.

And the cost of the ink cartridges? Well, my HP ink gets used up faster, but guess what, one black ink cartridge costs me freakin $43 compared to like $16 for my Canon black ink cartridge. Maybe i'm getting my figures wrong, because my mum might have quoted me the colour ink cartridge price, but still, i don't think the value is off by much. My mum WAS sure that the cost of any Canon ink cartridge fell FAR below $43.

And finally, this HP printer is just so counter-intuitive and DUMB, somehow. It's got a scanner, which is cool, but it can't print duplex (meaning automatically on both sides of a page), while my old, old Canon printer can. If i make a mistake and want to cancel a print job, right-clicking on that small icon and cancelling it would take too long, and by the time the signal reaches the printer, another page has been printed.

So, for my Canon printer, i could turn the printer off or disconnect the USB cable, and the print job is automatically cancelled. And once i turned the printer back on, it's ready to be used again. Very convenient. On the other hand, if i do the same thing for my HP printer, the printer jams up. When i then go to the small icon and try to delete the print job, the printer goes into this state where it tries but cannot seem to cancel the print jobs. It remains in the state of "deleting" and turning the printer off and on doesn't work.

I have to restart the HP printer AND my freakin computer before i can get any printing done again. And once my printer starts up...it start PERFORMING THE PRINT JOBS THAT I HAD BEEN TRYING TO CANCEL BEFORE I RESTARTED THE COMPUTER. And there's no icon where i can go and cancel the old print jobs either. I just have to reach over and press this red X button, and by then a page or two have been printed. *cringes*

Ahwell. I'll keep this printer for emergency photocopying jobs. In the meantime, the printer outside my room is out of ink. (My dad keeps stocking up ink for his own printer - he has at least four colour and two black ink cartridges in stock - but the Canon Pixma iP3000 printer seems rather neglected...sigh has the family printer become my responsibility without my knowledge?)

So i'm going to have to leave some print jobs for school. Printing in school is damn cheap. Four cents a page nia...with the goddamn HP printer, it's like FIFTY cents a page even when the printer is my own personal one. What the hell.

Minor update

2009-02-15T05:06:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Haven't blogged in a while.

Anyway, my car's been repaired. Money's gone for good though.

It turns out that my computer's motherboard was fine; it was the RAM that got spoiled. Interesting. I'll have to take the ram chips for repair...some time. Maybe on the monday after tomorrow...i suspect that the next week is going to be busy as hell.

Erm. Dinner on thursday was pretty good. We went to the Robertson Quay branch of Les Bouchons...the serving size was amazing. Well, i'm sure i could get MUCH more beef from say, McDonalds with the amount of money that i spent. But still. Good French steak frites in a nice setting. I wouldn't go there too often though. :| Just not rich enough.

Valentine's Day was also quite the success. Lol i made spaghetti alle vongole (minus clams plus prawns because Coco doesn't like clams)...among other things. Like errr canned cream of chicken soup which tasted like ten times better because of the introduction of english parsley. And chocolate fudge...which kinda sucked. Fudge is not really meant to be eaten alone. Sigh. And i spent more time on that one than the other dishes too. Next time, i'm sticking to brownies. In a ready-mix formula. I'll just add in the raspberry sauce to make it more presentable and more professional-looking ahahaha.

Oh and in between that, i attended Law Ball! Coco managed to get 2nd place for the pageant queen position...power lah. The Ball was quite the success, although there were a few empty tables thanks to errr certain people not willing to pay the ticket price to come down and support their beloved friends.

Er hem. And i really have to wonder about the seating arrangements...like why i ended up sitting with well...the sponsors, instead of with people i knew errr a little bit better. Ahwell. It made for a rather quiet dinner, i suppose.

Well, anyway, that's all from me.

I've had a bad bad bad bad bad x ∞ day.

2009-02-04T17:41:00.005+08:00

You people know that i really love to moan about unfortunate incidents happening to me on this blog. Well, i can safely say that today, my luck has been the worst i've ever had my entire life.

In the morning, before my modeling photo-shoot, i cut my pimple with my razor. Thank goodness for concealer.

After the photo-shoot, it was raining very, very heavily. The exit thingee couldn't seem to record my cashcard IU unit, and a truck prevented me from reversing, so i had to get out in the rain to press the help button, etc.

After getting back in the car, i drove off, looking forward to my late lunch and thinking of what to eat. It was about 1:30pm. But then, while i was driving below speed limits in the rain, the car in front of me suddenly swerved out and changed lanes. Turns out there was a stationary car at the side of the road on my lane. I jammed on my brakes the instant i saw the car, but my car skidded and slammed into his rear bumper.

I then spent the next four hours stoning and handling the whole affair. Taking down the other driver's particulars, waiting for my parents to arrive (i got into the accident at around Paya Lebar, so there was quite a lot of traffic), getting the tow truck down, going to the repair centre and going back home after all that.

During that period of time, i slipped and fell on my back on the wet road while taking my wallet to pass the other driver my driver's license. I dropped some of my clean clothes onto the road while moving the stuff to my mum's car. And when getting into my mum's car on the way back home, i somehow managed to step onto some cow dung fertiliser without knowing it.

This stained my brand new white sneakers and ensured that the ride home would be extremely pleasant. My mum has had to clean her car thoroughly. I was also cleaning the mat with some wet tissue while in the car, and now, i can't seem to get the smell off my fingers, even though i've already washed my hands four times. And using the hand-cleaning method that was taught during the SARS outbreak too.

Oh and the costs of repairing my car? $2650 INCLUDING insurance coverage. The $2650 is just the "excess fee" to be paid because i'm under 26 years old. And now, because of this accident, my insurance premium won't be discounted anymore. Sigh...what's the point of insurance liddat. My condenser is ruined though, and my left headlight is cracked. And my entire front cover is bent beyond recognition. The damage is quite significant, so even if i just got it repaired without claiming insurance, it would still cost me around $2500 to $3000+. Haiz.

Well, and i just got home about 15 minutes ago. Just ate two pineapple tarts. That's lunch. Sigh...i'm such a loser.

Now...what's next? Oh yes, i'll probably get a stomachache because of the dung or gastric or the pineapple tarts or both. And i'm probably going to screw up the LAWR presentation tomorrow and bring my entire team down with me.

Bleah. Okay, i'm going to try to prevent that last incident from happening. I've still got some time left; time to go for a shower and then do some reading up.

Oh, and time to go buy some 4D. My car-plate number, specifically. Lottery luck, here i come! $10,000,000 Toto, anyone?

14th February.

2009-02-02T03:10:00.001+08:00

Valentine's Day is approaching.

Anyone got any dinner places to recommend?

Budget...well...i'll think about that one later lol.

Gotta go book soon!

I learnt an exciting new sport.

2009-01-29T22:01:00.003+08:00

Today, i learned how to play netball. It's something like captain's ball, just less violent. It's something like basketball too, just slightly easier in a way, because, although there's no backboard, no one gets in your way much when you shoot. No dribbling though. And i didn't like the three feet rule; it's bloody impossible to calculate three feet, and it just means that it would be impossible to play a mildly competitive game without a referee. Or without opposing players turning a blind eye whenever their opponents stand 2.95 feet away from them when they have the ball. Definitely not a game for overly fussy people.

Back to crim.

I want BRITISH f & c.

2009-01-27T03:06:00.011+08:00

Gaah i've been so very busy during Chinese New Year...well, it's mostly playing cards and stuff, but still. I haven't spent any time on bloody LAWR homework, and have only managed to read my Contracts textbook sporadically.

Sigh...i wanted to try making kimchi during Chinese New Year, but it seems kinda impossible now. (Why make kimchi? Er hem.) Tomorrow (or rather, later today), i'll have to play host and do some running in the morning, so there's really no time to be buying Chinese cabbages, salting them and adding in all the other stuff and preserving the mixture to make kimchi.

Another day i suppose. Haiz. In the meantime, i'm going to avoid talking to Coco's mum; otherwise, she'll ask me how the kimchi went, and then i'd have to hang my head with shame and tell her that i haven't even started on the project yet, despite her giving me a head-start by passing me a whole container of chilli powder MADE FROM CHILLI THAT IS GROWN IN HER MOTHER'S (meaning Coco's grandmother's) GARDEN, WHICH IS LOCATED IN KOREA...MEANING THAT IT'S FREAKIN GENUINE TRADITIONAL ORGANIC HOME-GROWN KOREAN CHILLI. Urgh.

Ahwell...moving on...to sort of make a bookmark, i also want to try to make BRITISH BEER BATTERED FISH AND CHIPS in the future! Mwahahaha...why, you ask? It's because British fish and chips is one of my most favourite dishes of all time! XD

I mean, well, good local food is available nearby on the cheap (Bedok South Market for Hill Street Fried Kway Teow, Joo Chiat for Fei Fei Wan Ton Mee, East Coast Road for Beach Road Prawn Mee, Qi Ji @ Changi General Hospital or Katong area for Laksa, ECP or Upper East Coast Road for Black Pepper Crab, and for everything else, there's Bedok North Block 85, Marine Parade's hawker centre, that place outside Bedok Camp, and Lagoon @ ECP...home's got good food too).

Steak from Jack's Place @ Parkway or Aston's @ Katong/Bedok seem good enough for me, i like Ramen from Ichiban Ramen @ Parkway and Waraku @ Katong and ECP, Sakae Sushi is a decent place to get my sashimi fix (although only BUFFETS can really satisfy me) and my McDonald's double-cheese burger and my Kentucky (Fried) Chicken can be easily acquired as well.

But British fish and chips? Well, the store in Siglap closed down a long time ago, and every other place that i know of are too far from home (meaning further west than Katong) and too expensive (meaning at least $8 for just a small bite of heaven). For your information, Fish & Co and Swensen's don't sell BRITISH fish and chips (for one thing, i don't see the vinegar), and let's not even mention Long John Silver's...

My mum has tried to make fish and chips in the past, but although she deserves credit for the effort, it's just too...different. The fish is nice and thick, but tastes different and is usually TOO thick. And the batter is made using just corn flour and something else which gives rise to a batter that is a little too thin and is more appropriate for chicken.

Anyway, i've done some research and found a recipe online...time to go try it out! :)

After this semester, of course. Bleah. :|

PS: After British fish and chips, i'm moving on to Spaghetti Vongole! :p

Or not?

2009-01-23T17:24:00.003+08:00

I suddenly don't feel like going anymore. Hmmm. Like err...i dunno. Maybe it's my mum and all her warnings. I think i'm happy enough with my life that i don't wish to change it on a "risky" venture. If they want me to spend anymore cash, i'm out. If they want to tie me down to a contract, i'm out. Heck, if i don't think they want me around, i'm out too.

Modeling?

2009-01-22T00:29:00.008+08:00

Lol, yesterday evening (meaning on the 21st of January), i accompanied Coco to this modeling agency place where the law pageant contestants were to learn how to do the catwalk properly and pose nicely and stuff.

I was standing outside the studio waiting for her reply to my sms, when i noticed the old makeup artist man, the female receptionist and this male model looking at me from inside the studio, smiling and talking amongst themselves. But anyway, i ignored them and sent Coco an sms telling her that i was leaving.

But as i was on the way to the lift, the male model caught up to me and asked me to go into the studio and have a seat. Turns out that he was one of the casters, and i had just been talent-scouted. :|

Like what the hell. Lol. I'm there to look at the contestants - and Coco in particular - doing their practice and this is the kind of thing that happens.

Well anyway...what should i do? I've been approached on the streets before and have ignored previous offers (being the lazy suahku goody boy that i am), but this time i'm actually seriously considering the offer. I can tell that it's a genuine modeling agency with decent connections, and not some kind of scam. It'll cost me $200 to get a hair/makeup job and 9 studio photos to make a calling card thingee. And then they'll sponsor me for about 20+ hours worth of modeling/hosting/image lessons.

But well. Who cares about the costs. I'm not really in it for the money anyway(unless, of course, i somehow turn out to be REALLY successful); rather, i'm just interested in it for the experience of modeling, to get fashion advice and to be able to get nice studio photos and that nice card done up. You don't stay young forever.

I have about one and a half days from now to make a decision and get back to the caster fellow.

Frog.

2009-01-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

I feel like a frog in a well. Like the whole world is passing me by because neither the world nor myself have enough time for each other.

Anyway, i watched "The Duchess" with Coco yesterday. A pretty nice movie with a decent ending...although it had this old and depressing view of marriage that somehow stuck to me like a parasite on my way out of the cinema.

Well, contract test results are out; i'll go collect them tomorrow. For now, i'm going to start working on LAWR and crim so that i have enough time to do a little bit of exercise, and enough time to go out for dinner and drinks and maybe consider helping to bake some cookies. :)

Chinese New Year's coming soon...i wonder why it doesn't feel like much of a holiday at all. But in any case, Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone!

Blah.

2009-01-19T00:16:00.004+08:00

Sigh. Sometimes i wish i didn't have so much pride. Then i could probably start to think more for myself. I'm in a selfish and high-maintenance mood, but my skin's too thin to enable me to do anything more about it, other than grumble silently in the corner to myself.

Anyway, monday's here, once again. The weekend is over, and my oh my was it a crap weekend. Friday was pretty interesting (learning the cha cha in the afternoon and watching InDanCity in the evening) but saturday and sunday was awful. I couldn't use my main computer, and there was just SO MUCH law work to be done. I barely scratched the surface of the tasks that i had to do, but the PRESENCE of the work was enough to make me feel really shitty and wipe out any opportunity for me to relax and have fun over the weekend.

LAWR work is the worst by far...i'm just so confused with what we're supposed to be doing and i don't know exactly how much time i should be spending on LAWR as well. It's like there's no cap on the possible amount of work that can be done, and so even if i'm done with ALL my homework and ALL my readings, LAWR would still be whispering in the back of my head, that there's still more research that i can do...if i wanted to. Sigh, i wish the work we had to do simply involved a fixed set of readings and THAT'S THE END OF IT.

Argh. I need some good news. A one-day break where everyone is BANNED from studying and struggling ahead in the rat-race would be HEAVEN.

Anyway i'm going off now. I'm going to try to convince myself that the little work i've done for LAWR is enough. Otherwise, i won't be able to sleep tonight.

Sigh...my laptop keys are so sticky...maybe i should send it for repair. I suppose i'll go give it another wash before i go to bed.

Technology bad-luck.

2009-01-16T01:39:00.003+08:00

Oh my f*cking goodness. The technology bad-luck bug has struck again!!!

I'm in deep, deep shit; i just bought a new internal DVD-RW drive to replace the old one that wasn't working too well. When i plugged it in, the computer somehow couldn't detect BOTH my DVD drives.

Then, i thought that perhaps it was my IDE cable that was spoiled all along, not my DVD drive. And yeah, it certainly seemed like it, since my IDE cable had been folded to the point that certain parts of the BLACK cable had turned WHITE.

So i replaced the IDE cable with the one from my old computer (which was working fine).

And now, my newer computer can't be used at all.

Whoops. :|

The only thing i did wrong was that i had forgotten to turn off the main switch when i was changing the cable. My computer was still turned off though. But well...i'm afraid that i might have short-circuited something.

Put simply, my computer can be turned on, and everything in the computer is running - from the processor to the disk drives and graphic card. But my monitor repeatedly reports no signal. I did a bit of troubleshooting and went to change monitor and cable, to no avail. At first, i thought my graphic card had a problem and i went to check the connection and stuff.

But then i realised that my MOUSE was turned off. Or rather, it had not STARTED UP yet. So now...i think i might have short-circuited some parts of my freakin MOTHERBOARD.

Die die die. I don't have the time to do further testing and i don't have the money to just throw it away and buy new stuff or whatever. The worst thing is, even if i had the time to tear down my entire computer and send the motherboard for repair, i might not be able to use the warranty to get it done for free.

And that's because when i bought my computer, the shopkeeper had given me a more advanced motherboard model (probably by mistake...i only discovered it when i got home), but charged me for the price of the older and cheaper model and wrote that model on the receipt. Back then, i thought i had just escaped with a damn good deal. But now, i wonder if i'm going to suffer because the warranty might not be valid.

But i really do need my computer to be up and running! And so does my entire family...goodness gracious. I need help. For now though, i'm just going to sleep...hopefully, when i wake up tomorrow, the problem would have been miraculously solved on its own.

Little things

2009-01-13T13:40:00.004+08:00

Bleah. I'd been sulking about all sorts of little things this morning, things that aren't even worth talking about.

I'm better now, though. Sometimes, you just have to learn how to fade into the background, and learn to be happy and satisfied.

A post full of complaining.

2009-01-10T11:36:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to develop a phobia towards eating spicy instant noodles late at night.

The previous time i did that, i had a painful gastroenteritis for two weeks. This time, i've been having diarrhoea for two days now. And apart from that, well...horrible things have been happening.

Yesterday was really, really bad. I slept for five hours the night before and embarked on a long day feeling rather sleepy and tired. I received very bad news in the afternoon and did two things late at night that i really, really regretted. And even when i wanted to go to sleep to try to forget it all, i couldn't, because i had to read some of my LAWR2 articles and check my emails to discover the homework that was starting to pour in, now that school is starting next week. Bad things just seem to come in packs all the time.

And schoolwork is like a thunderstorm, with seemingly no end in sight. There would be brief periods where the storm recedes, but it's impossible to enjoy the rainbow for long, especially when you can see a new storm already approaching. It takes time to crawl in and out of the storm shelter, and people tend to buckle down very early, if the storm can be seen from a distance.

Sigh. Well, no crying, and no suicidal tendencies or whatever, after yesterday's debacle. Still, i'm lapsing into this anti-social mode...it took me an hour to get out of bed today even as i felt this very real need to go to the toilet...i just didn't want to see anyone. I still haven't seen anyone. I also don't think i'm going for the movie marathon at Xiang's place that already started an hour ago...there's even a chance that i'm not even ALLOWED out of the house today.

It's all rather...depressing.

Oh, but on to positive things...Coco and i ended up in the same classes! :) What are the chances, sia...although i'm sorta worried. In the back of my head, i'm wondering if this would be good or bad for our studies eventually...i'm thinking that it can be either, depending on the sort of mindset that i develop. With my current mindset, though, being in the same classes probably will have no effect whatsoever on our grades.

I'm anticipating sms and phone bill reductions, however. Lol!

Anyway, the zoo trip yesterday was also surprisingly very fun! I was actually pretty amazed by quite a few of the animals in our very own Singapore zoo...what the hell. And here i thought that, as a local, nothing could possibly surprise me. I suppose it helped that i hadn't gone to the zoo in like...over ten years or something like that.

Well, i'm done here, so i'm off to breakfast and then it's back to studies. Oh but before that, i'm going to have to make another trip to the toilet...0.o

More car talk

2009-01-08T12:49:00.003+08:00

Sigh. I'm dead bored. This does not mean that i have nothing to do...it just means that nothing i do seems to excite me that much. I suppose i'll just finish Mass Effect today and go back to my anime/crim-law schedule. Or maybe just anime lol. Aside from Ghost Hound, i haven't watched any new Naruto or Bleach episodes for some time...i'm a walking anime dinosaur omfg!

Anyway, yeah, thanks to a notice by friendly tagger, i went to double-check the price of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 2007 and the latest price was stated on this website at SGD 1,180,000. :| My dreams are gone-f*ck. Okay, no, actually they were quite impossible to begin with. Oh, and the Lamborghini Gallardo 2007 costs between SGD 786,000 and SGD 918,000, dependant on the model type.

Urgh. Someone please design a car which looks like a Lamborghini but has the specs of well...a Honda Civic Hybrid or something. Err...except with a decently large backseat space and boot space of course (neither the Lambo or the Honda has those i think).

Man, currently a Civic Hybrid can probably drive about 300km more (if i rate it at 18km/l instead of the stated 21km/l) than my current car (a 2nd generation Toyota Altis which drives at about 11km/l instead of the stated 13km/l) on a full tank even though my current drive has a slightly bigger fuel tank. I'd save about $30 on petrol for about the same distance driven by the Altis when i do a full tank pump, and i'd hit $1000 in fuel savings every year.

Edit: I'm not too sure about road tax though. And oh yeah...chances are that $1000 in savings a year won't be enough to cover the extra costs i'd incur in buying such a low-powered car in the first place...i guess the greatest benefit would be the slightly mistaken belief that i'm helping to save the planet by driving a hybrid car...:\

Ahwell, time to go eat my lunch. The prawn mee has been hanging around downstairs for the past hour!

Post-Birthday Post

2009-01-03T03:48:00.004+08:00

Lol i caught myself staring at the Lamborghini Reventón toy model that Darinne and Mark gave to me on my birthday for about five minutes today.

Dang. What a sweet car. I don't give a hoot about specifications like the amazing engine power and G-Force-Meter; the shape of the car is simply the best. Perfect (well, apart from the fact that it's only a two-seater...i think). Car manufacturers worldwide, please get the hint!

Sigh...that's because getting a Reventón is impossible, even if i won that one million euros required in the lottery or something. And THAT's because there're only a limited number available (TWENTY...WORLDWIDE!!!), and no one who owns a Reventón would be willing to sell the car to me for a million euros, or even two million; this kind of money probably wouldn't matter to these people!

And even so, being a little bit more realistic for a moment, i don't think i'd EVER make enough money to buy a Reventón, or any other Lamborghini models - which DO look like the Reventón - for that matter. Like, say, the Murcielago. No matter how much money i make in the future, spending over $100,000 to buy a car would be uneconomical, spending over $150,000 would be extremely unwise, and spending over $200,000 would be plain CRAZY! And the Murcielago would freaking cost me about $500,000!!! 0.o I'm not going to blow my savings and the chance for early retirement on a chunk of metal (or carbon-fibre...sigh)!!!

So yes, in the distant future, i hope to get a car which at least just LOOKS like the Reventón. Get your act up, everybody! That includes you too, Audi! I'm so disappointed that the parent company of Lamborghini sells cars that hardly look as cool. >.<

Anyway, my sister and her fiance Weiyu bought me really neat birthday presents when they were in Shanghai! I just got them today...holy moley i've gotta show them to some of you guys soon! XD

Oh, but before i forget, i'd like to thank all those who helped me prepare for my party, who came down to my party or who bought me presents...whether you're a relative, a JC friend or a Law Fac friend! I really appreciate it! :):):)

Something that concerned me though. Dory once again gave me food for thought when she, Phoon and ChuaH bought this book for me: "How to Procrastinate". Check out this excerpt:

Workaholism
Repeated and prolonged productivity can bring on a serious condition called anhedonia - the inability to experience pleasure. When rare moments of leisure arise, workaholics feel they need to get even more done, rendering them incapable of enjoying free time. Not only do all their hobbies, diversions, and relationships atrophy from underuse, these anti-procrastinators are often addicted to the sense of accomplishment that comes from performance

And now this one:

The Overachiever
The overachiever finds her value in the regard of others, having learned at an early age that attention and acclaim visit those who perform to exaggerated standards. Rather than drawing from internal strength, the overachiever requires outside feedback for a sense of self-worth. To the overachiever, nothing is ever enough. One promotion is quickly forgotten in favour of the next advancement. An A could have been an A+. The overachiever is never satisfied, and setting the bar increasingly higher is not only dangerous to the overachiever herself, but also to those around her, since she raises the authority figure's expectations for all team members. In her personal life, the overachiever either focuses on work at the exclusion of other arenas or strives to "have it all" with the perfect spouse, children, cars, house, and social life, but these trappings are merely expressions of her insecurity rather than satisfying pursuits unto themselves

Sounds like me, doesn't it? For one thing, i haven't been able to enjoy my holidays much, because i keep thinking of any enjoyment as time wasted when i should be studying...even though i'm not in any mood to study at all. X|

Well, apart from one difference: i STILL procrastinate anyway, despite all this. If i were given an assignment due in three days time, the book my mother gave me preaches that i should start on it on the first day and finish it on the second. The book Dory gave me preaches that i should relax and enjoy life for the first two days before cramming on the last day. What I'M doing is worrying about the assignment for the first two days and trying to do the proper "preparation", only to start on the assignment on the last day anyway.

That's kinda like taking the worst of both worlds. Urgh. I've really gotta learn to be more efficient with my time; getting work done better and faster and REALLY enjoying myself whenever i get free time.

Sometimes, i really envy those happy-go-lucky people who can, say, play mahjong or poker until the wee hours of the morning, getting just a few hours of sleep before going for another activity in the early afternoon or late morning - say, basketball - thoroughly enjoying themselves and de-stressing all the way.

Meanwhile, for me, i'd be counting the hours of sleep i'd need for the next day's activity, trying to "perform" every day at an "optimal level". Which means that i either won't be able to play overnight mahjong/poker with incoming late morning activities, or i won't be able to enjoy the activities one single bit as i'm always checking my watch, worrying about tomorrow, and worrying that i'm not getting any studies done in my free time.

...which are really stupid things to worry about. It's even worse when i get insomnia worrying that i won't get enough sleep for the next day's activities, or when i simply dally around before sleeping because i'm procrastinating on showering and brushing my teeth...rendering all my workaholic paranoia useless. Then, i wouldn't have slept enough, wouldn't have done any extra studying, wouldn't have gone for the full mahjong/poker/basketball experience and wouldn't have enjoyed myself while i was there. The worst of both worlds again.

Urgh.

Anyway, on a completely unrelated note, i just want to say that i don't think i'd ever be able to date a singer, even if i were single and available. Meaning i'm not sure if i'd be able to stand it. What's "it", you ask? Well, i'm not going to say. :p

A model would be...well, the barest minimum that i'd be able to handle. A dancer...well, a dancer is pretty good i guess. XD

But i definitely won't date an actress! Among other things, THEY DON'T SAY THANK YOU WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR THEM!!!

Lol.

21 sia.

2008-12-31T04:04:00.003+08:00

Wow. I'm now 21 years old. An official adult (although mentally arguably not an adult yet). I now have to watch what i sign, what i do, what i eat, what i drink...erm...i have to be careful about commitments, complexion, high cholesterol, etc...

Okay crap. I'm mixing "turning 21" up with "getting old". Graah.

Oh, and coincidentally, i was only 17 years old when i first started this blog! Time really flies.

Oh, and also, my birthday marks the end of 2008!

Well, all i can say is that this has been a VERY eventful year. There have been so many landmarks and first-times (girlfriend, driving license, university, internship, etc x 10) that i hardly know where to begin.

There have also been many things that i've learnt over this past year, which include:

- The importance of being organised
- The importance of giving everyone a fair trial
- The importance of chastity
- The importance of speed reading
- The importance of being careful when parking
- The importance of being consistent
- The importance of not procrastinating
- The importance of being able to fall asleep at will
- The dangers of being too much of a perfectionist
- The dangers of obsessing too much over minor details
- That certain things are overrated
- That certain things aren't overrated
- That having kids is an underrated task
- That Jeyaretnam does make sense most of the time
- How to take care of another person (...a little bit)
- How to bake bread, cake and cookies
- How to do basic jewelery shopping
- How to play puzzle fighter
- How to polish cars
- How to do a bit of hiphop and cheerleading moves
- Touch-typing
- Basic Japanese
- Lots and lots of legal knowledge
- And so many more!

Well, i'm actually stopping here because i'm getting dead tired. It's almost 5am now. Gotta go, i've got a party on tomorrow! Ciao!

Gaaah Mission failed.

2008-12-29T06:32:00.000+08:00

Weak, weak, weak. Lol.

sigh.

2008-12-29T03:42:00.003+08:00

Hmmm. I said that i wanted to go to the airport...which meant that i'd have to wake up at around 6am. And so i went to bed at 12am.

Well, it's 3.45am, and i've yet to fall asleep.

I'd been tossing and turning for about three and a half hours, after which i became rather irritated and now i'm on the computer, blogging about it.

Too excited? I dunno. Maybe it's just the irritating sounds coming from my leaky air-conditioner. Sigh...it's time i got a pail. And more towels.

It's definitely not "jet-lag" of my own. I freakin slept at 2.30am last night.

Maybe i AM excited. Or feeling that same old "pressure to fall asleep". Haiz. Greg, you are a weak, weak man. You need to slouch less too; time to go for some backbone lessons. 0.o Hell, even knowing what the problem is has not helped you solve it at all. Tsk tsk.

Alright, i'm actually feeling rather dizzy...i'm THAT sleepy. But i wonder why i suddenly perk up when i'm lying in bed. Meaning my errr consciousness perks up. Not anything else. Whoops i'm starting to talk rubbish...time to go back to err trying to sleep again.

I'm far too bored for my own good.

2008-12-28T23:49:00.001+08:00

It was late morning, and a girl was running through the forests of Sephira.

The girl looked around 17 years of age, and had typical Northern features; light blond hair, big blue eyes, and skin as pale as snow.

She was running for her life.

The girl could hear the faint rustling of leaves behind her, and she knew with dead certainty that the Hunters were still hot on her trail. These people never gave up.

Her green evening dress was in tatters, and splinters stuck to her hands and feet, but she kept on running, ignoring her groaning stomach, the pounding of her heart and the pain in her lungs. She kept her mind on shoving branches out of her way, and putting one foot in front of the other.

Suddenly, she noticed light shining from behind the branches ahead. She pushed those branches aside, and bright sunlight enveloped her as she stumbled out of the forests and into a clearing.

Safety was near; she could see a group of houses in the distance. Civilisation. Now, all she had to do was to outrun them. Pulling all the zona in her immediate surroundings into her, she desensitised her eyes as much as she could and cupped a hand over her eyebrows to prevent herself from getting blinded by the light. And then she made her final dash.

And then she was safe. Safe in the backyard of one of the houses, on the outer fringes of a town. The Hunters were not following her anymore. They would not stop their chasing, but they could not pursue her in another country in broad daylight without getting clearance. She was safe...for now, at least.

The girl felt her strength drain from her legs. Crumpling onto the grass on her back, she gulped deep breaths of air and closed her eyes to the sun, as she felt the pain in her lungs ebb away.

But as the pain in her lungs and legs faded, she began to feel the Hunger. She had been running for weeks, and it had been days since she last fed. She could feel the symptoms of Hunger emerging now; her canines were aching, growing, and all around her a red mist was descending, filling her eyes.

Most of all, the urge to feed was overpowering her. She channeled zona into her ears. Amidst the sound of birds and leaves, someone in the house next door was breathing deeply. Sleeping.

The girl started to crawl towards that house, the Hunger starting to take over her.

I'm sorry, she thought. But she had no choice; she could not fight the Hunger. Some of her friends had died, trying to fight it.

She started running towards the backdoor of the house, and tears rolled down her face as she cried, silently.

I'm sorry.

...

At the edge of the forest, the Hunters watched as the girl scampered through the open field into the group of houses. One of them was a blond-haired young man; handsome, and of medium height, with a sharp chin, sharp nose, and even sharper blue eyes. He stared at the young girl escaping, even as he fiddled with the katana tied to his belt.

The other man towered over the blond-haired man; a red-haired giant of unknown age with a large jaw and even larger muscles. He had a sword on his back that was even more gigantic than he was; the hilt of the sword extended a foot above his head.

The giant waited for the girl to disappear into one of the houses' backyards, and then turned to the blond-haired man with his hand on his sword hilt. "That girl is mighty quick...she's a vamp, and she had her zona control down better than the rest of them. Do we chase her, Captain Hawking?"

Hawking shook his head. "No, Jonas. If anyone in that town finds out and reports us to the authorities in Sephira, questions will be asked as to why we're here without a proper pass, hunting vampires in another country."

"Worse still," he added, "the Association here could trace this to the missing border guard we killed back in the forest."

"We could make things quiet, Captain." Jonas boomed.

Hawking laughed. "Jonas, that girl's so quick, I think keeping things quiet would be nigh impossible. And even if she wasn't that quick, i don't think i'd be able to control myself."

Jonas looked on, expressionless, as Hawking suddenly gripped a bared section of his belted blade tightly with his left hand. Blood from Hawking's hand trickled into his sword sheath, and all that he had to show for the pain was a slight look of irritation.

And just as suddenly, he let go of his blade and licked his hand. "Well, that's that. A fine amount of ruckus that bitch will cause, and we can't do a thing about it. Let's go back to the rest. They've probably finished creating the 'aftermath'."

"And burning the excess." added Jonas.

The two men turned away from the open field. One moment, they were standing there, their backs turned, facing the depths of the forest.

The next moment, they were gone.

Yahoo. :)

2008-12-28T22:24:00.003+08:00

Coco's coming back tomorrow morning. Yay. :)

God i sound like some puppy. But who cares what people think.

Hmmm...i'm thinking of going to the airport tomorrow. I mean, sure, she said not to wake up so early just to pick her up at the airport, but that doesn't mean i can't wake up early and just go to the airport to welcome her WITHOUT picking her up. Mwahahaha literal interpretation rules...purposive interpretation be damned. XD

I miss her too much. It's a little unhealthy. I guess i COULD book her for lunch tomorrow, but what if she's jet-lagged and wants to sleep past lunch? No way am i going to wait till tuesday.

Oh and...

2008-12-26T22:35:00.004+08:00

Oh yeah, and to add on to my previous post...my next car is going to be very small! At least the size of my current car or LESS. Still a five-seater of course...and it's a must that the passengers can get comfortable enough to sleep in it. But apart from that...small, please. Decent power, good fuel efficiency, and stable. Brand doesn't matter...that much. Give me a Lamborgh...okay it really doesn't matter, honestly. :|

Anyway, just before i left for dinner, a very interesting friend-add set me on this face-stalking adventure! Mwahahahaha, i've found you at last!!! >:D

As you know, adventures usually involve a certain amount of risk. Danger. For some reason though, i got out of it pretty much unharmed. On hindsight, it couldn't have been THAT dangerous...i'm not THAT weak...

I'm kind of intrigued, though. Perplexed. As to how that short, skinny China chimpanzee can consistently hit waaaay above his weight. Ahwell...i guess females have their...weird moments. Or maybe he has some special skill that i don't know about.

But whatever that skill is, i don't think i'd ever want to learn it.

*Gaaaa...

2008-12-26T16:26:00.004+08:00

...aAAHHHH!!!*

I scratched my car again!! The left side front bumper this time. And once again, at slow speed into a white pillar...except this time, it was at the multi-storey parking lot at Marine Parade. Bleah...just a few days after i had the car's right side rear bumper spray-painted and the entire car polished!

No dents...i think. But there are a few spots where i could really use a bit of paint. Anyway, i've resolved not to send the car for any repairs or painting unless the car is dented in any places...if it's just scratches - minor or major - i'll let them accumulate until the car looks five years older than it should before sending it for a repaint.

Which is actually what i've been doing, anyway. I only sent the car to repair the last time because of that dent that i had gotten after the house committee gathering.

I mean, well, it kinda sucks to drive around a car full of scratches and stuff...i suppose it's just a "fear of embarrassment" (or "fear of 'losing face'", to be more exact).

But who am i kidding? I'm just a freaking university student who bought this car from my parents using my university fund...i've got enough savings, but i shouldn't be throwing them all away by sending the car to repair every time i get a scratch. Neither should i be using my parents' money to fix my car up.

There's no point wasting all that money just to keep up an image of wealth, and there's really no point keeping my car shiny just to try to compete against all those BMWs in school. I sorta feel like my "status" and "eligibility value" have taken a dip as a result of this resolution...

But what the heck. It's rare to have a car at such a young age anyway, and people are going to get pissed at Mr. Arrogant here, if he still thinks that that's not good enough. It'll be stupid and irresponsible of me to be so materialistic, especially when i'm not even drawing in a salary yet, and i don't want to go down the same road as all those "upper-class" law students.

So yeah. My car is going to be the most grungy, scar-filled, and battle-hardened machine in the whole faculty (if it isn't already)...and if any of you can't bear to sit in such a vehicle, then that's just too bad!

As for me, if the engine and internals are fine and i can always make it look brand-new again without much cost, then i'm perfectly okay with my car! Wouldn't trade it for any other car in the world!

...Lol now THAT'S a really stupid thing to say. Give me a Lamborghini any day hahaha! XD

Although i kinda wish Lamborghinis had better fuel efficiency...hmmm...:\

Gaah i just keep losing! X|

2008-12-25T23:39:00.003+08:00

Oh no...i just played mahjong with my family and lost. Big time. :\ In fact, i was the sole loser!!! This is the second time i've gone into double digit losses - out of the three times that i've played...of which i've lost all three - since...well...since she went away...

Sobz...please come back quickly dear, i miss you really badly. :`(

And i kinda need that arse-luck back really badly too. Ahahaha... :|

PS: By the way, last night i slept for TEN bloody hours...uninterrupted!!! OMFG this has gotta be the first time this whole year that this has ever happened...never a moment too late i suppose.

Pet Society...and grades...

2008-12-25T02:15:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah, by the way, i've got something to share for those Pet Society players out there...

Check it out! I've got all 13 gold medals in the game! Cool, huh? XD

Okay, yeah, it's a little crazy and a tad obsessive, but well...i'm the only person among my social circle who has gotten all of them!

Okay, yeah, you can say that i'm the only crazy and obsessed person out of all my friends... :|

I managed to get the full set two days ago, when i finally won the betting game 300 times. Finally. So well, this means that i'm now moving on to BETTER things in life, like say...er...studying? Oh CRAP life sucks.

Anyway, on to more dreary topics...i got my semester results back two days ago...and they put me right smack in the centre of the cohort. I don't even know if i'm in the top half or bottom half...it depends on whether i'm an optimist or a pessimist erps. That's how much i am on the fence...or, as elitists would put it, that's how close i am to the edge of the cliff.

Urgh, well, even though i'm in the centre right now, i wouldn't be surprised if a number of the lower-scoring people in my batch quit law school at the end of our first year. Which would put me in the lower half of the cohort. And i'm still getting quite a bit of pressure from different places to finish in the top half of the group. Which means i have to buck up.

...I wonder why i care so much anyway. The competitiveness of this faculty is killing me. The weight of expectation is killing me. My lack of effective and organised studying and taking of notes are killing me.

Or maybe i don't really care about my results at all. I don't think i felt anything when i saw my results online. I was already...dull to the sense of anticipation and all that anxiousness by then. When i saw my grades, i just thought "Oh, okay.", and i looked away. It's not that i'm too relaxed, it's more like the pressure was too great for me and my body dealt with it by forming this emotional detachment from my grades and from legal theory.

Although, deep down, i could be rather disappointed. That night, i went home and turned on the computer. Then i started humming this song from Third Eye Blind, called "Wake for Young Souls", over and over, and the words in it somehow caught my ear...

..."Today i found my soul, i felt it die inside of me...So I turn to you,
life is like that you know...All things we know are going to fall away from me...Like a grain of sand slips through a good friend's hand..."

...

Christmas Party!

2008-12-25T01:24:00.012+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!!! :):):)

Hope everyone has fun this festive season! I just came back from my mother's extended family's Christmas party, which is something that we've had every year since i was dunno-how-old. Most of us in the family aren't Christians, but well...we do like to celebrate the holiday, and this has become something of a tradition for us.

It started with my older cousins (like 5-12 years older) organising simple games and sing-a-longs way back when i was a toddler or something. And after a few years, the party started to get bigger and better...it helped that our extended family eventually grew to over thirty in number. There used to be games like musical chairs, limborock, dancing, dress-up competitions, guess the number of m&ms and charades, and today we still have the balloon blowing competition and pyramid game and now other stuff like pictionary, taboo, sudoku, and watermelon eating competitions. And there are prizes to be won for all the games of course.

Then there's the video game competition, which first started in 1994, where i lost in the finals to my mum lol. The game we play is almost always a 2D fighter, and i still sorta remember who won during which year, although i can't say that i'm as excited about it as i used to be. I suppose the competition was where my real love for Street Fighter began hahaha!

Our family has really weird but nice traditions, like "lucky draw prizes" at the end of the party where my mum would bring loads of her excess "junk", like paper notebooks and toiletry bags and stuff and pass them around to all the kids to bring home (there were times when she bought underwear and err other things to distribute 0.o...she's quite famous for all that); our present-exchange system structured so that everyone would get at least one christmas present (and where there would be a lot of gossip between the aunties over which people they had to buy presents for); how we've had these competitions for so long already that we have established favourites for every game; the way we play charades, where everyone would deliberately get very close to the answer, but not quite correct yet, just so the person acting out the answer would keep acting...until one of the kids just can't stand it anymore and shouts out the answer (for some candy, of course).

Also, the organisers of the party would always be the kids...when they hit a certain age and seem capable enough, the older kids would pass the "mantle" down and the new group of kids take charge of assigning game prizes, presents, and food and drinks for each family to prepare. And to fix up a timetable, organise the games, come up with the questions and stuff and take charge on the day itself of course.

The "mantle" is passed down very gradually...every couple of years, one younger cousin (because the "kids" are all my cousins lol) would be "inducted" (informally lah) to help out in organising, and another cousin would retire and just err sit back and enjoy. And occasionally help out, i suppose. There'd be two to three organisers every year. I suppose i consider myself retired...i organised last year's Christmas and have done three or four Christmas parties in total. University life has its moments of free time, but all of it is spent with a tinge of guilt...urgh. :|

Anyway the party yesterday was pretty fun! Seemed a bit shorter and less eventful, but i suppose that's because we've been making the party more free and easy over the years...not to mention that we haven't had family gatherings regularly for a very long time, and i AM growing old (and therefore time passes faster for me...yikes).

I won the video game competition and pyramid game! Mwahahaha i take pride in being able to explain things to people thoroughly...and to the point too, if there's very little time. My Christmas presents have been pretty nice as well...very practical and useful stuff, nothing too extravagant and wasteful, or useless and cheap. Our family is a pretty nice bunch! :)

We're a pretty funny bunch too! Our family's got this sense of humour that probably can't be understood unless you know us well enough.

For example, we played this one-on-one buzzer game yesterday, where, at one point, competitors have to answer the question (or rather category) with an example. We'd rush to press the bell and there was a three second time-limit before the person who pressed the bell had to answer or otherwise forfeit the points. This made for some funny answers...

Category: Things you'd find in a woman's handbag...
Uncle no. 1 presses the bell: "Ahh ermm...torchlight!"

Lol what the hell. Everyone started laughing, discussing the possibilities and making fun of him. My dad exclaimed that we should all go check his wife's handbag now, to see if she carried a torchlight or not.

Category: Food you can eat without chewing...
Uncle no. 2 presses the bell: "Err jelly......fish!

Immediately, he puts his face in his hands and exclaims: "Oh shit, i wanted to say jelly!!!"

Category: Things a girl would have to know about her boyfriend before marrying him...

My mum, instead of pressing the bell, starts taunting her opponent Darren, my twelve year old pre-pubescent cousin (who is err MOST likely single right now): "Ah hah! This one you confirm don't know!"

Darren proceeds to press the bell, and exclaims: "...WHO THE BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER IS!"

Okay, i'm not sure if these are all inside jokes, but well yeah...back then, i thought that they were damn freaking funny.

Why Azzy always holds the flag...

2008-12-22T17:35:00.006+08:00

Woohoo, i just figured out a little mystery!

While racing with our pets in Pet Society, Coco and i always wondered why the hell the pet holding the flag at the starting line was always Adrianni's pet, Azzy (except of course when Azzy was in the race too).

And the answer to that is really quite simple...it's all organised by the alphabetical order of the pets' owners' names!

I only realised this while i was playing Coco's pet, Lala, in the races, and was wondering why my own pet (meaning Gregory's Pet) was never part of the audience in the stands.

I observed that the pets that appeared in both my races and hers were often the same...and then it hit me. David's pet was almost always there. Darinne's, Desiree's, Alvin's, Amy's, Ashwin's, and Charmaine(Alaris)'s pets too. When i played my pet, i'd see the same pets, including Coco's pet and *er hem* Mr Ang Wei Ming's pet in the stands all the time.

And whenever Adrianni's pet was racing, Alcina's pet, Binky, who'd normally be in the stands, would be the one who took over flag duties! So yeah. The pets that appear in the stands are always those with owners who are the first few in alphabetical order. And the one who holds the flag is the pet whose owner is the first in alphabetical order. Just in case any of you were wondering too.

And if any of you had figured the mystery out like long long long long ago and way way way way before i did, just shaddup and let me revel in my "genius discovery" for a bit alright. LOL. XD

A moment to be serious.

2008-12-22T15:32:00.010+08:00

Hmmm. I've been having an sms chat with Dory over the past few days, and although the conversation certainly helps to bring my issues to light, it also forces me to confront them instead of living in blissful - if slightly dissatisfied - ignorance.

And yeah, if i think hard enough, i really do have fears that i'm just a spare tyre. Because of how close they were, and because, as she had told me before, if her ex hadn't dumped her, she would definitely still be happy together with him...and i think i most likely wouldn't have stood a chance. And in any case, i had first gotten her attention because i smiled just like him. And wore that t-shirt that reminded her of him.

It somehow doesn't matter if i'm generally far better than him as a person or not, because i've always been an idealist romantic, and i've always believed in this thing called "chemistry"...for this belief, i blame TV shows - especially Taiwanese and Korean dramas - where the generally good, eligible guy tends to lose the girl and the bad boy with the most chemistry (and who keeps getting into special situations with the girl) gets the girl.

I think i've got to stop watching such TV shows at dinner...they're rubbing me the wrong way. I know that these TV shows' scenarios aren't realistic and don't often happen in real life; in real life, the good, boring boys win and have relatively happy families. Still, i can't help but get this impression that such scenarios are the ideal for a perfect relationship, and you people know that i'm a horrible OCD-stricken idealist perfectionist.

Ahwell. But there really isn't anything that can be done about this kind of insecurity, except to face it and get used to it. She's already done her best to dispel such thoughts. I'm just letting my paranoia and all this "pop culture" get to me. It's horrible; when she reassures me, i can't bring myself to fully believe it, and yet i keep secretly and impliedly asking for more...if i keep this up, there would be no end to my needs, but someday those reassurances will run out. I've got to learn to handle these issues on my own before that happens...for both our sakes.

Then again, i think that it's a rather normal problem to have. If you're getting into a new relationship at this time of your life, there're bound to be a lot of exes. Not many people nowadays are as goody and introverted and shy and inexperienced with relationships as...well...me. Erps. :| Sigh...i wish i had been more mentally prepared though. I wish there was some way to make myself take things easy.

Most of all, i'm sorry dear, for being such a self-centred prick; for complaining so much when you're the one who has suffered the most; for having such illogical fears and issues, and for blogging about this and making you concerned. :\ I'll pick myself up soon, don't worry about it...and if you have any problems of your own, please do tell me about them.

Anyway, i suppose i've said all i can say about this for now. If anyone is reading this, please do me a favour and not mention what i wrote here to me...i'm kinda tired of talking about it and do not wish to think about it any further. Time to go remove this blog link from my facebook profile...i don't want too many people reading stuff like this.

Blogging to pass a few minutes.

2008-12-22T00:32:00.003+08:00

Sigh. My luck with mahjong was horrible yesterday against my relatives.

Oh, but today, i finally managed to complete Super Puzzle Fighter in hard difficulty mode without losing at all! :) Now that i've accomplished that...i don't think i want to play on hard difficulty mode anymore...it's just too stressful! Hahaha time to play normal difficulty mode again and whoop some lousy asses with super moves! XD

Anyway...hmm. Nothing much else to write. I've done some of the proposal write-up. Waiting for the rest to give their input. Watching soccer now (and betting on races in Pet Society of course...only 78 races to win!!! >.<).

Arsenal and Liverpool are currently at 1-1...but i really don't know who to support. The wife or the mistress. I'd support the mistress normally, but the wife's leading the table now, and has a much better chance of winning the league. I just don't want Chelski or especially Manure to win the title next year.

Ahwell. Oh man, just when i was about to post this, it seemed like Fabregas got badly injured. Hot damn. Hope he recovers fast sia...i don't want to see a Denilson and Eboue/Song central midfield partnership ever again!!!

Zzz.

2008-12-21T02:24:00.006+08:00

Hmm. You know what...i don't think i care anymore...

...whether overseas smses are expensive or not. Lol!

Argh but well. Coco might care. Anyway, i've tidied my room up a little bit...feeling a little bored right now. I'm getting sick of Pet Society...it's all this race betting that i'm doing...

I only managed 20 wins today...i really hate MMORPG-style grinding and what i'm doing is pretty close. It'll only get worse if i spend my entire day brushing my pet. 0.o Argh...i need to change my activities a little bit.

Maybe i should resume Mass Effect after having taken a two day break from it...or i should just finish watching Ghost Hound. Heck, maybe i should just do some exercise. :|

Well, all that will come after i'm done with the rag '09 proposal draft! Going to get started on it after my late-night shower.

I'm procrastinating quite a bit though. Damn. On something as fun as a rag proposal draft. Criminal law and contract law are going to be far worse.

I think i'm scared of starting lessons again in January. A little bit.

I'm awake.

2008-12-20T10:37:00.003+08:00

Coco smsed me last night (meaning early this morning), before i was about to sleep! I happily replied...but then now i wonder if my sms will ever reach her...:| if she has roaming but i don't, is that sufficient? How much does it cost to send overseas smses anyway? Exact figures please, i think i've heard enough "a bomb" as it is lol.

And i only realised late last night, in between periods of sleep, that i had forgotten to take back my bolster. :|

Okay, sorry for that random moment.

Anyway, after that slightly emo crap last night and five hours of fitful, intermittent and dream-filled sleep, i finally emerged from my room this late morning feeling a little...different. Better.

It's like...like i finally understood another aspect of her, and what she had gone through in the beginning of the year. Sort of. Not completely, but extensively enough.

I feel really sorry for her...all that crying and pain...but, let me be clear on this one: i'm not in it out of pity, or for the sake of achieving some perfectionist ideal i must deal with every relationship perfectly, regardless of who i'm in it with. I've probably been far from perfect so far; especially with my constant rants on this blog (despite me already saying that this was going to stop! >.<).

Still, my perfectionist self is sufficiently awake now, and he's purring in satisfaction in one corner of my mind.

The bastard.

Alright, well, i've gotta go! I have ten minutes to get my ass down to Jalan Bukit Merah for a wicked game of mahjong with kenneth, chinhow, and probably kenneth's brother...hope i don't lose! (I'm not going to hope that i win...that might be asking for a little too much! Damn, but i thought that i didn't believe in karma! XD)

Damn, i should've put a Scout's Honour to it.

2008-12-20T01:31:00.009+08:00

*Ahh ahh argghh!!*

Ouch.

Sorry about that. It's just that i was in the midst of conducting some odd form of sado-masochism on myself. Currently, i'm pulling a needle filled with dissolved sodium chloride and cocaine (for that extra bit of kick when i go) out from my veins. I was about to do something really stupid in a wild fit of SM but suddenly decided against it. Still, some of the stuff might've gotten in. Because i'm feeling a little high now, yet very...dull and weak-hearted, at the same time.

Okay, i'm not actually killing myself or inflicting pain on myself in the name of pleasure (and i don't associate pain with pleasure) or anything remotely of the sort (and don't come to me for cocaine...i don't have any!!! >.<).

But what i've been doing for the past five hours certainly feels like it.

It's probably because i'm dead bored. Coco's overseas, she doesn't have access to the internet, she doesn't have roaming enabled and any call she makes would be expensive as hell anyway. She was right in a sense...there's this hole in my social life (and my life in general) now that she's gone (temporarily).

I've been spending my time playing lame games and betting on races on Pet Society simply because i want to get the last gold medal. I've won 80 times but lost 550 coins in the process. Meaning I've won 80 times and lost 190 times...i guess this is definitely a case of BAD LUCK, given that i have a 1/3 chance of winning each race. Bleah. I've got nothing much in the near future that i'm really looking forward to, and i can't even give her a call or anything like that.

Anyway, to put my "sado-masochism" simply (or perhaps rather cryptically), my perfectionism means that, if i'm supposedly SUPPOSED to know everything, than i WILL try to find out everything, or wallow in my ignorance for the rest of my life.

So i did some heavy snooping that's probably going to piss some people off and kill a wee bit of trust. (Aahhhh i'm sorry; i just couldn't resist it!!!) And, well, i've finally read the remainder. I've read EVERYTHING.

...Well, nearly everything. I didn't/couldn't read the other one. Reading it might've been too much anyway. There IS an extent to knowing everything.

It hurt. It really did. Maybe it's because i'm just feeling a little...inferior, what with my totally geek, ultra-clean background and suahku, eccentric self. Or maybe it's because i'm feeling self-centred and there aren't as many posts about me. Perhaps it's just that same old private rant of mine getting recycled over and over.

Or maybe it's because my perfectionist, OCD-inflicted self wanted to know everything, but this has made me realise how little i really know. I barely recognise the person behind the words. Which irks me to no end. I'm not sure if i could have connected with the person behind the words. Which irks me to no end.

But you know what? I'm still alive. And i'm stronger for it; my pain-barrier has been brought to a higher level. I'm feeling like shit...but at least i know - for sure this time - that i can recover from it.

And even as the pain fades, i'm beginning to realise how badly i want to make this all work out, and how important it is that, perfectionist fantasies aside, i still remain sufficiently stable and steadfast. Perhaps "sado-masochism" can be a good thing, after all. :|

So, to my perfectionist, OCD-inflicted self, are you finally satisfied??? Or do you still want to explore the newly opened well of mysteries???

...I don't hear an answer.

My perfectionist self is rather subdued at the moment. Well, that's fine by me. You've already caused everyone enough trouble as it is. You've made me into the man i am now. But if i could eliminate you for good, i certainly would.

Anyway it's late. It's 4:30am in fact, and i've gotta wake up at 10am for mahjong. Don't think i'll shower tonight...if i do that, i'll only sleep at 5am.

Random.

2008-12-16T03:46:00.005+08:00

Hmm. Something rather major happened to me today.

But anyway, Law Rag Committee '09 rocks! Mwahahaha my committee members contributed so many wonderful ideas...i can't wait to see those ideas come alive! :)

Scratched the ride again.

2008-12-15T01:36:00.005+08:00

Argh i dented my car's rear bumper two days ago. And scratched the side of it pretty badly too.

Sigh...of the three times that i've damaged my car, all three occurred while i was in the midst of parking, and twice it occurred in my own freakin home.

My goodness. I think i let my guard down quite a bit while parking, especially when i'm parking at home. Familiarity breeds...er...complacency.

Not to mention that my home's parking area is treacherous. If you don't go to my place so often, you should never park inside my house's gates (park inside one of the lanes beside it). That's because it takes quite a bit of effort to get used to parking inside my gates, and it's really not worth it if you're not a regular visitor.

Then again, i shouldn't have reversed the car into the pillar beside my main door like i did...there weren't any other cars parked inside at all, and it was a very EASY manouever for me, given the number of times i've done it. Sigh...i was in a rush and just got complacent, i suppose.

It's the same pillar that i bumped into the last time too, except that i scratched my FRONT bumper the last time. That pillar is strong as hell; my car gets a dent but the pillar only gets a bit of its paint chipped off.

Anyway i'll go get the car repaired and repainted sometime next week. Expensive sia. Sigh.

Alright, well, i'm off to plan for rag meeting later today! Ciao!

Yellow is a sick colour (warning: this entry contains sick stuff...no kidding!! 0.o)

2008-12-12T03:03:00.006+08:00

Yikes. Why has the skin around my purple bruises turned yellow in colour? 0.o This is odd, to say the least. At least for someone who hasn't had such a thing happen to him before. It's like i applied that ancient yellow antiseptic medication to my bruises and the medication had dyed my skin yellow.

I have a few more yellow spots appearing on my upper body too, and one on my inner thigh. The one on my thigh was where i was hit by a painball. And when i press on the yellow spots on my upper body, it ACHES, and i just KNOW that these were the parts of my body that were hit by painballs (oh, i'm sorry...painTballs...:| ), but weren't hit severely enough to leave a purple bruise. In other words, the "invisible bruises" are starting to emerge.

Sick.

Speaking of yellow, worse still is that scrape of mine that i had gotten during basketball. I wasn't planning to blog about it, but well...the scrape's been a bright yellow ever since the day after i had gotten it...like yellowish white. And it had been drying properly.

But well...i guess i had been ignoring it for quite some time. I blame it on Mass Effect...it's an awesome game! Go try it out! XD

Anyway, i just finished my shower, and just when i had started typing this blog entry, i looked down at my knee and suddenly realised that the scab had somehow expanded and burst, and the pus was leaking out...

The pus was a smooth, deep yellow colour...just like liquid egg yolk. And as i stared at the pus leaking out of my scab, thick and viscous, yet liquid all the same, i was suddenly reminded of how it looks when u accidentally break the egg yolk of a fried egg done easy-over, and the yolk starts seeping out slowly...

SICK.

Holy shit. In any case, i've cleaned up the yolk...er, pus...with tissue paper, and i shall hope that the wound dries up for REAL when i wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to have egg yolk...er, pus...all over my bed. Hmmm...i wonder how the yolk...er, pus...would taste like if i were to fry it with some bacon...erm, er...0.o

...Well, anyway, putting all that aside, i've learnt something really important over the past few days. And that is that you won't ever truly appreciate something until there is a possibility that you're going to lose it for good. Only then, would you realise your good fortune in having it in the first place, and only then would you realise that the tiny details that you had complained about aren't very important at all.

It's really a cliche-ish thing to say, but yeah, all of us should learn to appreciate what we have as far as possible, because we never know when we're going to lose it all. And we shouldn't wait until the danger of losing what we have is apparent before appreciating what we have.

And don't think you already understand what i'm saying, because i had heard so many people give that same advice to me, and i thought i knew what they meant. But it is only NOW that i UNDERSTAND their advice.

Or at least i think i do. It's hard to tell. By the way, this has nothing to do with appreciating my currently yellow and deteriorating body! >.<

Car impatience.

2008-12-10T20:54:00.003+08:00

Okay, i managed to find a place to refuel today. :)

I must say though, that driving has made me rather impatient at times. There were two drivers being total road hoggers today...a "safe" driver occupying the right lane (the guilty one) and a soliciting cab driver occupying the left lane (the innocent one). They could obviously drive fast enough to go past the green light, and it's not as if they couldn't estimate the timing...there was the freaking green-man timer to refer to.

I was driving behind them, and i had MORE than enough time to drive past the green light...and still keep within speed limits too! But they kept going at a snail's pace, and i couldn't find any way of overtaking either of them because both cars closed up all avenues.

And when the traffic light eventually turned orange and then red, both cars stopped in front of the light. And then i belted out the longest chain of swear words i have ever used on anyone in this whole entire year. All at the top of my voice. Within the confines of my car, of course.

It felt strangely relieving.

Ahh where's the Esso station...

2008-12-10T03:54:00.004+08:00

I think i'm running a little low on petrol. :|

The road is bumpy, i've been getting lost too many times and taking too many detours and there are no refueling points in sight.

I wish i could make my own fuel. Alternatively, a better sense of direction is just as welcome.

Brunner.

2008-12-09T00:44:00.003+08:00

Yesterday (meaning 8 december or the 11th day of the 11th month of the Chinese calendar...meaning one hour ago) was my chinese birthday! So i ate mee suah. There wasn't any liver...which i suppose is probably a good thing lol.

And that, techically, was my dinner. Or perhaps it should be more appropriately called supper. But if that was supper, then my breakfast, lunch AND dinner would have been the high tea that my sis treated me to at the Swiss Hotel yesterday. Three meals turned into one...what would that be called? Brunner? 0.o

Brunner/high tea was the usual hotel buffet experience for me i guess. I took over $40-50 worth of salmon sashimi...

...and then i went for dessert. XD

LOL but anyway the high tea was pretty good, because the sashimi was pretty fresh and very tasty! A very good standard of sashimi overall, compared to other buffets that don't specialise in Japanese food.

In between brunner and supper, i was following my family around Parkway Parade and playing mahjong with Dory, ChuaH and Phoon! Mwahaha i won...which is pretty amazing, given that i always tend to lose whenever Dorinda plays. Erps. :| Even when she's playing on my home ground too.

Anyway i'm going to finish my daily dose of Pet Society as soon as i can, so that i can get to work on Mass Effect as soon as possible!

Lol by the way, i realise that i've been posting a LOT these days...oh man but i'm just in such a good writing mood! Hahaha...not sure if it's a good thing though, given that the only people that i now know who blog regularly are err girls.

Not that there's errr anything wrong with being a girl.

...deep purple bruises...

2008-12-08T04:52:00.003+08:00

Oh man. Took a shower just now and only then did i notice that i have two DEEP PURPLE bruises on my right shoulder and collar bone. 0.o Paintball is wicked sick. I wonder why paintball bruises look like a ring with a lighter coloured centre though. My brain isn't thinking hard enough at the moment to figure it out.

The purple ones hurt less than the red ones too. Odd. But that's why i didn't notice those two bruises until now. I'd look for more purple bruises on my body but i can't be bothered right now.

Anyway i wish the scrape on my knee would heal faster. I think the antibiotic cream i'm applying is counter-productive because it prevents the wound from drying up and forming a scab.

I wish i were less forgetful. Bleah. Yet another thing to add to my list of stuff to improve on.

Just came back from paintball!

2008-12-07T16:57:00.002+08:00

Whew...paintball was extremely tiring! My legs were dead after basketball, and now i'm bruised in a few places from the paintballs. I'd say that overall the experience was very fun!

Well, er...minus the hot, sunny weather and buckets of sweat seeping out from inside my windbreaker (yes, i came very well protected lol). And minus the smelly helmets. And the PAIN.

LOL yes it was painful. I didn't get hit for the first round because i was being really cautious. Then i decided to move up one bound nearer to the "enemy" for the next round, and *kapow*!!! I got hit loads of times. And MAN did it hurt! >.< It's like getting an ant sting and when u get hit the paintball leaves a red bruise.

For your information, those paintballs are fired at 200 feet per second...which comes up to about 220km/h...that's like three times the speed of a car. :| The balls are soft...but not that soft. You can press down on it with some force and it won't burst. It was most painful when the balls hit me...and bounced off. Ouch.

Anyway it seems that i left the place just on time (the paintball place is located north from the Yishun area...which is like so damn far from civilisation haha!) because i'll be going out in ten minutes...time to go get changed!

My basketball is sucking.

2008-12-07T03:50:00.012+08:00

Woots i did something very extremely crazy yesterday. And i played basketball too; my first time in months (and still only my second time in over a year). My shooting sucks now! Hahaha every shot went either too much to the left or didnt even reach the rim. Horrible. Disappointing. I'd still miss consistently when i shot from about two metres from the net. Disgusting.

My inside shot was still okay though...so i ended up playing as a power forward the entire time. Which sucks. I used to play as a shooting guard all the time, back in JC and secondary school, and now i was playing an inside role simply because i was useless on the outside. Unforgivable.

Sigh...it's time to get more practice. Well, aside from all that, i bought myself a new Razer mouse and the game Mass Effect! Time to try the game out...after Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, after clearing some anime, and when i have free time, of course!

Lol i still remember the days when i'd rush back home to try out a new computer game the instant i bought it. And i'd be so engrossed by the first play-through that i'd sleep way past midnight! This time, i've been home for nearly three hours now and i haven't even taken the game disc out yet, much less loaded it into my computer.

Heck, i haven't even torn open the plastic wrapping covering the game box yet. HELL, i haven't even taken the game box with its plastic wrapping out of the freakin SHOPPING BAG yet. The bag's still lying in one corner of the room. Mwahahaha i like this self-control of mine. Feels like i'm finally growing up. Or is that growing old...0.o

Oh, and one thing i learnt today...a small act of kindness does wonders for your self-esteem! I still maintain that doing good deeds to make yourself feel better isn't really the right way to go about things, but well...i was feeling pretty shitty and pissed off with myself on the way back home today.

But, when i was at the petrol station filling up my car, i felt a sudden impulse, and exchanged a five dollar note with the cashier for small change and gave the old man who topped up my petrol for me a one dollar tip. He was really grateful, and suddenly i was feeling pretty good about myself all over again. :)

Okay, maybe i'm feeling TOO good about myself. :| It kinda shows in the words of this blog post...

Anyway...gotta go sleep! It's already past 4:30am! Tomorrow (or rather, later today), i'll be crawling around in the dirt, preparing to snipe a poor soul from a deep dark corner or to ambush a bunch of warriors with all weapons blazing. Yes, that's right: IT'S WAR.

Lol, actually it's just paintball. But it's still going to be damn fun! I think. Hope my bruises and err other temporary physical conditions don't hinder my performance too much. It'll be yet another first-time activity for me, so i won't really know what to expect, but i'll do my best! Oh and if i go down, i'll go down fighting! XD

Well erm...at least as much as the rules allow lah. :|

What happened after my last post.

2008-12-06T01:56:00.004+08:00

Whahaha, i went off for dinner after posting my last post, and after that, i went out to that bar near Centrepoint (i still don't bloody know what it's called...sigh i'm honestly ashamed of my suahkuness) where i had beer and supper with my Law OG1 mates. In the midst of chatting, some of the guys started talking about how pretty Emma Watson is in the Harry Potter movies and when exactly she started "getting pretty".

Talk soon drifted off to how Cho Chang was not pretty in the movies at all (this might sound familiar to regular readers of this blog). And then, Juliet (or was it Navin) started mentioning rumours about how the actress for Cho Chang got the role because she had a rich father from Hong Kong who supposedly paid the movie producers off. Talk resumed again about how Cho Chang was supposed to be very pretty (in the books) and was thus not pretty enough (in the movies), and then Kar Wei suddenly interjected with assertiveness, confidence blazing in her smouldering (because she had put eyeliner) eyes:

"Hah! Come on guys, if MY dad had lots of money and could afford to do such things...I would have been in Harry Potter!"

LOL. Oh man. The fact that i remembered rather clearly what she had said means that this statement must have been rather awesome. Accordingly, i award Kar Wei with the inaugural "Statement of the Day" award...that's if i had actually wanted to do this every day.

But anyway. It's 2am, time to sleep...i've gotta wake up at 9am tomorrow to go back to SCHOOL for basketball! Woohoo! Tomorrow's going to be a VERY eventful day hahaha!

Oh wait, but before that, i have to go play Pet Society...:|

YES, IT'S OVERRRRR!!!

2008-12-05T18:06:00.006+08:00

YAAAAAAAHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!

Oh man. Am i so tired right now. Tired, but happy. :) These have been really trying times. Anyway, there's not much time to rest...i've got so many things to do but so little time! My holidays run from now until 12 January (i think). Which isn't too bad, considering that medicine has only 2 weeks of holiday from what i've heard. I've got quite a few events coming up, and seeing as to how there is zero chance that i have any stalkers left since my one month disappearance off the face of society, i shall freely post my schedule right up on this blog! :)

TODAY: Supper at Timbre @ The Arts House with Navin and the rest of OG1
6 Dec: Morning basketball, lunch with Coco, afternoon pain at Suntec, evening at Jazz @ Southbridge
7 Dec: Paintball with Ken, Goat & Chin, (maybe) Steve Aoki @ Zouk
10 Dec: (maybe) Mambo @ Zouk
13 Dec: VJC House Committee Gathering
14/15/16 Dec: Rag Committee Meeting
16 Dec: Outing with Coco
17 Dec: NS IPPT Test at Bedok Camp
18 Dec: Coco flies off, David's birthday party @ Sentosa
21 Dec: (maybe) Yilin's costume party, meet-up with zhihong and army friends
23 Dec: FOCC Exco party at Dorothy's
24 Dec: Low Family's Christmas party
29-30 Dec: FOCC Exco chalet & stayover, Coco flies back
31 Dec: My own 21st Birthday!

Woohoo and probably more to come! In my free time, i shall catch-up on some anime (i haven't watched any new episodes for about FOUR months now!), do regular exercise, play Mass Effect and Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations, do up my Rag 09 proposal, play mahjong, slack, SLEEP, and study Contract and Criminal Law for next semester (otherwise i'll FALL BEHIND...studying during the holidays is the NORM)! Sounds like a plan, huh? -_^

In any case, if there are any new events during the holidays, please sms me or tag on my board and i'll try to fit it into my rather tight but nevertheless not yet full schedule! Cheers!

Urgh..four more days to the test..

2008-12-01T15:13:00.003+08:00

Sigh. This sucks. I'm feeling rather depressed. Hardly anything seems to be looking up at the moment.

The law of contract is actually very interesting. Yes, seriously. I find the contract textbook to be one of the most interesting reads ever. There's so much intrigue, and reading the judges' rationale for their rulings in full sorta gives me an insight into the way they think. I don't agree with some of them. And i like rationalising why i think that there should've been another result. It's actually very fun and thought-provoking.

Learning the RULES of contract in preparation for the test, however, is boring like hell. This, of course, is mainly because i no longer have the time to read the textbook in order to prepare for the test; reading the rest of the necessary topics would take another ten days. The textbook is far too detailed and long-winded. I take too much time to absorb the arguments and form my own opinions and criticisms.

And so i read notes. And muggers. Which are so dry and uninteresting that i end up getting distracted easily and dallying around...my revisions starts to go much slower and i start looking at the err dark side of my life and at all the imperfections and dissatisfactions.

Gosh...i'm tired of having to prove myself over and over again in this kind of setting. I'm tired of having to MEMORISE points in my notes and CRAM. I want to just sit down and LISTEN in lectures and tutorials, and just DISCUSS and LEARN, without having to lose focus and interest in class because i've missed some of the teacher's points and have lost sight of the big picture.

And THAT's because i'm busy TAKING NOTES in preparation for some year-end test, and in anticipation of some hard-core CRAMMING for a whole week before that. And i CAN'T multi-task that well. If i listen and take notes, the teacher would have finished the next point before i even formulate my thoughts. If i focus on taking notes, it will be akin to not listening to the lecture at all.

GODDAMMIT. In addition to actually learning the law and its theories, we have to bloody learn how to organise our time during the test, how to answer test questions, how to plan our revision, etc etc etc...gaah. I'm sick of this.

I don't think i care much for the contract test anymore. I hope friday comes sooner, because i don't really care much for being fully prepared anymore. Come and get me, contract test, for i am sick of you and i just want to get you over and done with.

Being a night-person sucks.

2008-11-30T06:02:00.004+08:00

Haha, third time posting today/tonight...

I was about to go to sleep, when i realised what a night-person i am. It was at 3am when i finally started to pick up speed for my studying (my whole day was rather unproductive before this). At 5am, i stopped to blog about stuff that i wanted to type down before i forgot. At 6am, i stopped blogging and went off to brush my teeth. While brushing my teeth, i realised that i was still in the mood for studying.

Late nights somehow just suit me better when it comes to studying. Sigh. Maybe it is because of my introverted nature, which makes me more comfortable at night when no one's awake. Maybe night gives rise to a sense of urgency that morning can never provide.

This sucks. I got the same amount of studying done from 3am to 4am that i did for the whole of last afternoon. I'm the least productive in the mornings, or in the first few hours after i wake up. But because most people are morning people (and because the contract test will be in the morning), i will have to adapt myself to that time.

What a pity...i spend the whole morning and afternoon feeling stoned, and then night falls, and i start picking up speed. But before i can get anything done, i have to go to sleep to fix my body clock.

And then morning comes around again...

Time to end the posts.

2008-11-30T05:31:00.005+08:00

Haiz, second post of the day/night.

I had thought that, because i had already talked about my problems a little and had voiced my selfish concerns directly to the relevant parties the other day, these issues of mine would disappear. But apparently, they have not. Apparently, i cannot escape the shadow of perfectionism and the shadow of the one who had gone ahead of me. Not yet. It would take time. It might never get better. Things might change if the situation changes. Things WOULD change if I changed.

Still, i've realised that this blog has not really been the right vehicle for me to voice my thoughts and concerns; it is read by a lot of people - people whom i do not wish to share any details with, for a multitude of perfectly justifiable reasons - and as a result, i have to force myself to be a cryptic, to write in codes and puzzles. Which makes things even worse, because people would then be induced into wanting to figure out the codes and solve the puzzles.

I've realised that my purpose in blogging about my concerns was simply to cry out for help, and when the only person from whom i had wanted help asked me about it, i just could not say anything. I was afraid of appearing selfish, and afraid of hurting people more than i should. I WAS being selfish, and i WAS hurting people more than i should. This was self-centred-ness at its worst.

In any case, now that i've already voiced my concerns to the relevant parties, this blog has ceased to be of further use regarding this matter. Accordingly (holy shit i've been reading too many court judgements), i decided to type out my concerns in full, but i will not load the words onto this blog; instead i will keep it hidden, in my computer and in my heart.

It has been surprisingly therapeutic, because i've been able to be far more honest and detailed in voicing my concerns than i ever have been, either with the relevant parties or on this blog. In time, i hope that doing so would help clear the matter up...for it is not the circumstances that must change; there is nothing much that can be done about that. It is i that must change.

Anyway, in short, i will leave out such posts from my blog from now onwards. It's nearly 6am in the morning now...i'd better go to sleep...